Nearly FMLs

By FuckedForTime - 19/09/2018 17:41

Today, I was doing online homework, saving it regularly. The program wouldn't save my work when I told it to, and also wouldn't close without Task Manager. I tried to salvage my work using copy-paste, and that didn't work either, so I have to do my work from scratch all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 10

By trashman - 19/09/2018 17:30

Today, a new employee, who I trained, called me "retarded" in front of a group of people because "I never told him to empty the garbage". His main job requirement? Emptying the garbage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 918

You deserved it 178

By First Choice for Second Choice - 19/09/2018 08:58

Today I found out that, after asking my parents for permission to propose to me less than a month ago, I would-be fiancé decided we should “just be friends”. I also found out his ex is in town. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 4

Today my roommate saw me naked

By Kat - 19/09/2018 01:31 - United States

Today, my roommate decided to move in and didn't tip off me or my boyfriend beforehand. When we noticed the light was on in the room, we thought we forgot to shut it off earlier so I went to turn it off. Fully naked, I swung open the door, and he looked up at me. He used to have a crush on me, FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 22

By "Pretzel_Guy" - 19/09/2018 04:23

Today I was told by my mom and entire family that I'm not allowed to marry my Fiancee because my mom is now engaged to her dad. we've been together for 8 years and they started shagging 2 months ago. Now my family is threatening to disown me if I interrupt, "True Love" Guess I'm marrying my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 7

By meows - 18/09/2018 19:41 - United States - Foley

Today, within the last 48 hours I’ve been dumped, kicked out of my home, gotten lice from my roommate’s girlfriend, and my phone bill ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 4

By avertle - 19/09/2018 02:00

Today, yet again, a girl who I was talking to (and getting along with really well) on Snapchat, blocked me as soon as she found out what I look like. This has happened so many times before I lost count at 10. I guess I am just really that ugly..... fml

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 5

By oww - 19/09/2018 00:35

Today, I had my first cervical screening. I was assured that it won't be more than a slight discomfort; no one prepared me for the most excruciating pain I've ever felt. Like many first time, I bled, walked funny and can still feel it. I lost my 'virginity' to a poorly lubed plastic stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 2

By I'm a fucking idiot - 18/09/2018 15:22 - United States - Olympia

Today, I was in the kitchen with two birds on my shoulder. I bent down to change the dog food and my mom's dog came running. She scared the shit out of the birds and they jumped off me as fast as possible. One of them landed in a pan of hot oil my mom was using to cook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 17

By Anonymous - 18/09/2018 11:22 - United States - Cranford

Today, my brother spent the weekend with me. I spent a lot of time with him, most of that time he spent telling me I don't know what hard work is, I'll never get a good job (I have a job), and that I'm an idiot for going to college. He still is at a loss as to why we aren't closer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 18/09/2018 15:51

Today, I am vegan because I'm allergic to meat and milk. I also just found out I'm allergic to wheat, soy, corn, most leafy greens, stone fruit, legumes, and nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 7

By Whyyy - 18/09/2018 15:31

Today, I was walking my dog. Two giant dogs were blocking the sidewalk, so I picked up my (rather small) dog to carry him past them. When I did so, I accidentally grabbed his penis. It was wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 18

By Anonymous - 18/09/2018 14:26

Today, my married friend decided to confess his love for me to my dog. While I was sitting in the same room. I don’t feel the same, but I start a new job where I have to work with him 6 days a week. To make things worse, I’m friends with his wife too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 2

By Fail - 18/09/2018 13:32

Today, I got an email from my lecturer. I had two major assignments due at the same time, and I saved both as PDF files. Little did I know, when I saved the second, it wrote after the first. I submitted it thinking it was okay. It wasn't. It's an automatic zero. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 17

By Redmonkey - 18/09/2018 08:55

Today, it was my 21st birthday. My parents hyped up a wonderful dinner with my brother, and they drove us 40 minutes away and kept talking about how much fun we were going to have now that I was 21! They took me to Bob Evans. My eggs were cold. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 7

By Ozdust9 - 18/09/2018 00:23 - Canada

Today my husband and I went for supper at a sports bar. When the bill came I mentioned, we were charged for 2 extra drinks ($4.99 ea) & on the way out I calmly mentioned something to the bar and a manager came out & offered a $25 gift card. Got to the car & it wasn't in the envelope. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 9

By soberforlife - 17/09/2018 21:49 - Canada - Metcalfe

Today I decided to have a sip of wine since I had had a fairly difficult week. I say I am allergic to alcohol while out because I have epilepsy and take MEDs that may react to alcohol. I am now lying in the fetal position with the feeling of daggers in my stomach. Allergy formed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 14

By Ferniferousfern - 17/09/2018 19:57

Today, as I was waiting at a crowded bus station, a bee decided to investigate my leaf-printed cloak. As the bus began to load, apparently it concluded I was a flower, and promptly tried to sting my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 3

By useless screen protector - 17/09/2018 19:36

Today, I somehow managed to drop my phone in such a way to crack my screen but not my screen protector. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 2

By "cantide756" - 17/09/2018 16:34

Today, my ex started white trash screaming at our son at a cub scout meeting, for being a crazy, excited 6 year old, and stormed out when I put a stop to it. My son became inconsolable because she didn't say bye. happy birthday buddy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 2

By Sisk - 17/09/2018 14:48

Today I spent 10 minutes frantically looking for my car keys. They were in my left hand. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 34

By rg01 - 17/09/2018 11:27

Today I broke up with my girlfriend of 8 years. I'm working in another country and only get to see her every two weeks. When I got home and I discovered that there were condoms missing. Turns out she had some fun with a random guy while I was away - just working here to save up for our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 6

By Sady_Ct - 17/09/2018 09:25

Today my live in boyfriend of 5 years decided to dump me via text as soon as he got to work, after early morning intimacy. Today is also the final due date for an assignment that will either pass or fail my whole semester. I can’t stop crying or concentrate. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 17/09/2018 07:37

Today, my dad, who was sitting next to me, sent my mom a very sexual text message; she had just given me her phone while I charged mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 7

By Shawnie Gallant - 17/09/2018 01:20 - Canada - Brantford

Today I was diagnosed with Developmental Trauma Disorder, which is PTSD caused by a bad or neglectful childhood. When I had told my parents, they asked me in a sad tone, if it was their fault. I couldn’t get myself to tell them the truth, due to guilt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 7

By magguts - 17/09/2018 02:58

Today, I bragged about my awesome job at an adult group home during my doctor's appointment. Then my doctor informed me I have pinworms. In my vagina. And that I probably got them from a client.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 25

By holydamn - 16/09/2018 16:30 - United States - Clearwater

Today, I was dumped for the second time in 24 hours. First it was by text. Obviously I was not happy. He called drunk in the middle of the night to apologize and profess his love. I told him to get some sleep and think about it. The next morning he called to dump me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 553

You deserved it 230

By Sad_Happy_Gorl - 16/09/2018 22:36

Today, after my boyfriend of over a year wanted a break to figure ourselves out, my friend showed me his tinder profile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 16/09/2018 15:00

Today, a large figure busted my front door window. Fearing a burglar, I shot at them with my sidearm. Opening the door, I saw the mailman, in his new brown shorts, and my large custom bedding he'd plopped against my door. With 5 new holes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040

You deserved it 6 169

By Ms.ShittyKitty - 16/09/2018 00:53 - United States - Pomona

Today, in the middle of the night, I had the sudden urge to shit. After sprinting to the only bathroom, I was horrified to see my roommate was already taking a crap. With no other options and no time, I was forced to have explosive diarrhea in my cat's litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 3

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I invaded my boyfriend’s privacy by looking through his phone. I read the texts between him and his mom. I realized his mom is the worst. Then I realized I’m exactly like his mom. I told my boyfriend what I did, and called him weird for dating his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 2 277

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 846

You deserved it 7 618

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 950

You deserved it 6 391

Today, my boyfriend sang "Happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembers the date of the first time he went down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 922

You deserved it 4 670

Today, I finished a fence around my house that I have been working on all week. About an hour after I finished, a water company truck pulled into my driveway. They told me they would have to take down my fence to make repairs on a water pipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 364

You deserved it 3 212

Today, it's day three of me having unexplained diarrhea that leaves me with such bad gas that it keeps me up at night. Less than a month ago I was complaining to my doctor about having severe chronic constipation. My digestive tract can't seem to make up it's mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 54