Nearly FMLs

By sohigh10 - 27/02/2016 14:51 - Netherlands - Rijswijk

Today I woke up hurting all over and missing my credit card. I didn't even get drunk yesterday, I just suck at being an adult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By evasun26 - 27/02/2016 14:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mother had to tell my entire family about the time I was 4 years old and saw a very, VERY elderly woman. Being 4, I didn't know that it wasn't appropriate to shout: "That lady is dead!" and make my mother run away. She tells it at every family gathering and I get so much shit. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By OhShiiiiiiiit - 27/02/2016 14:29 - United States

Today, I arrived home from work to find my 12 year old twins having sex on the couch. Apparently, they had started doing this a month ago because they wanted to "explore the body of the other gender in a safe environment". They continued the moment I left the room. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By pmore04 - 27/02/2016 14:29 - Australia - North Lakes

Today, the day started off great. I woke up early, got to work early, I even made myself breakfast and packed lunch for once. 45 minutes into my shift, I ended up dropping two glass jars of oil, broke 3 $50 lids and letting someone walk away with $220 worth of stock. I'm surprised I'm not fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By OhShiiiiiiiit - 27/02/2016 14:21 - United States

Today, A homeless man asked him a £25 gift card to the store I own. I didn't realise I gave him my credit card until I got a call from the bank saying it had maxed out. My max is 25,000. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By 1800chokeaho - 27/02/2016 13:21 - United States - Annapolis

Today, I sent my girlfriend a heartfelt good morning message, telling her how beautiful she is and how grateful I am for being able to have her. She replied, "Ha GAAAY". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By LeEpicMemerDoge - 27/02/2016 13:12 - United States - North Scituate

Today, I was masterbaiting and my little brother walked in. He saw that it was gay porn and started screaming "ewww why are to two men doing that". I haven't come out of the closet yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Single - 27/02/2016 13:07 - Norway - Lillehammer

Today, my boyfriend tried to cheat on me with my best friend. When I confronted him about it, he said it didn't count, cause he didn't actually cheat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By WhyMe - 27/02/2016 11:34 - United States - Bel Air

Today, I had to watch my ex girlfriend, whom I still love, get married. Why? Because her groom hired me for the video and photography, and I was so desperate for money I said yes without looking at the details. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By nonnified - 27/02/2016 11:32 - United States - Austin

Today, I started my period. Yesterday, I caught the flu. This is going to be a fun week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 11:16 - Germany - Traitsching

Today, I roasted a nice piece of pig in the oven. After pulling it out of the oven, I noticed the thermometer was upside down, so I reached out to turn it around. I managed a half turn before the nerve endings in my fingertips informed me I was an idiot. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By amritgill2000 - 27/02/2016 11:11 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I realised I still buy and play with lego. My family always laugh at me whenever they see me with it. I'm 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By chickenwater - 27/02/2016 10:56 - Australia - Forde

Today, I went to show my dad something. His sudden reflex resulted in me getting punched in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By hypocritical bitch - 27/02/2016 10:35 - Australia - Caringbah

Today, at school, I got confronted by my 'close' friend because apparently I've been 'talking' shit behind her back. I don't know who told her that but she's been spreading rumours about me and talking shit behind my back. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By DinosaurERA14 - 27/02/2016 10:18 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend, he told me to text him what I wanted to say so I wrote a long emotional text to try not to hurt his feelings. The reply I got back... "Ok sounds good" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By campbelllp - 27/02/2016 10:06 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, my girlfriend tried to verse me in a video game. I won and then she threatened to break up with me because I didn't let her win. We played again and straight after she did break up. Because I wasn't going hard enough and let her win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By 914smv - 27/02/2016 09:36 - United States

Today, I realized I want a divorce after 4 years of marriage. Now off to tell my parents who have been married for 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By cemakara3 - 27/02/2016 09:33 - Denmark - Vallensb?k

Today, after flying 24 hours i finally reached Australia, 2 minutes after stepping off the plane i was bit by a poisonous spider and got rushed to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By domestichelp - 27/02/2016 09:24

Today, because of my features, I got asked by a shop owner if I was a foreign domestic helper for a family because the man I was grocery shopping with was making me carry all the bags. That man is my father and I'm born in this country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By SarcasticShade - 27/02/2016 09:17 - United States - Lubbock

Today, I was getting off the bus. As I got off my foot landed in a pothole resulting in my ankle twisting badly. I was swiftly dragged over to the sidewalk by my parking garage while struggling to not pass out. Good news, I didn't. Bad news, my car is on the 6th floor. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By kusje - 27/02/2016 09:13 - Netherlands

Today, I locked myself out with my phone on the table, and 45 mins to get to an important meeting. I tried calling people at the neighbours' but nobody picked up, taking the bike from the garage but it had a flat tire, and running 5km to a friend's house to get a key. I got there 30 mins late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By lovinglife2015 - 27/02/2016 09:07 - United States

Today, my 18 year old cousin with autism urinated in the bed I was sleeping in. I asked her nicely and she denied it, falling back to sleep. I'm now in a new room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Noob64 - 27/02/2016 08:59

Today, I joined Tinder for the first time. While playing some games, my phone goes off, telling me I have a match. The girl looked really cute, so I tried chatting with her. I honestly thought we were really hitting it off, until I discovered that I was talking to nothing more than bot account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By what?!.. - 27/02/2016 08:18 - United Kingdom - Pontefract

Today, my girlfriend got insanely jealous and angry with me and now won't speak to me, because my character in a game I'm playing got into a relationship with a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 08:15 - United States - Stacy

Today, my brothers 16 year old buddy vomited all over the guest rooms 250$ comforter. I don't know what's worse cleaning the puke or finding out they drank my 300$ bottle of whiskey.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 08:03 - Australia - Sydney

Today, after introducing my kind, amazing, respectful Arab boyfriend to my mother she warned me that I "better stop with this Bin Laden fetish" or she's taking me to a psychologist. She was dead serious. We're going to get married. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By livingwhere? - 27/02/2016 08:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got a call from my landlord to let me know my apartment was flooded. A pipe came loose causing water to stand upstairs until it flooded out the windows and through the floor. Everything is ruined including my wedding dress, and I'm not being reimbursed for anything.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Duarg - 27/02/2016 07:49 - United States - Melbourne

Today, I got back into a game that I hadn't played in over two months, I was still damned good, but doing an attack while dodging, I sprained my wrist. I can't play games for a good solid 3 months now. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By true7wallflower - 27/02/2016 07:25 - United States - El Paso

Today, I went to the store to buy milk because I wanted to eat some cereal. I live 5 miles away from the nearest town. I got home only to realize I was out of cereal too. The only transportation I have is my bike. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By MikaykayUnicorn - 27/02/2016 07:24 - United States

Today, I was told for the hundredth time that my medical disorder that makes me sleep for over twelve hours and still be constantly tired is no excuse to sleep for over twelve hours and still be constantly tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, I finally stood up for myself and beat the crap out of a bully at school, as my father told me to do. The kid and I were called to the principal's office, along with our parents. Inside my father's smirk faded when he saw that the kid's mom was his boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 693

You deserved it 230

Today, my brother arrived at the cabin we’re staying at on a trip. He insisted he got the bed I chose. My father responded, "You wouldn’t want the bed if you knew what he did in it last night." I laughed until I realized there's a mirror where he could've easily seen "what I did last night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 2 127

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. His response? "It's not like I liked it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 237

You deserved it 3 910

Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 978

You deserved it 2 927

Today, it's so windy, I actually fell over and nearly flew into the street the moment I walked outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 159

Today, I sang a romantic song I wrote for my girlfriend. She laughed at my soprano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 261

You deserved it 8 397