Nearly FMLs

By Scarlett18 - 28/02/2016 16:02 - United States - Dalton

Today, I worked up the courage and went to my ex boyfriends house (the love of my life/almost husband) to rekindle things and work on them. He told me he doesn't receive my calls because my number is blocked, and he'll unblock it and maybe we'll hang out, but for now he's going to bed. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By songmaelin - 28/02/2016 15:38 - United States - Omaha

Today, I figured out that out of the 5 managers at my store, 4 of them love me and 1 of them hates me. Guess who is the manager during all of my shifts this week... FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ickysicky - 28/02/2016 15:27 - United States - Hatfield

Today, I am running a high fever with chills, aches, and a headache. I feel terrible. My wife refuses to go get medicine despite the fact that I go run for her whenever she needs anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Christian - 28/02/2016 15:26 - United Kingdom - Bradford

Today, I got a call from my dads nursing home, apparently he had a heart attack, during a threesome with his two lady friends. Meanwhile I've been single for 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 28/02/2016 15:11 - United Kingdom - Chelmsford

Today, I was feeling proud of myself for discussing my PTSD flashbacks with my fiancée in greater depth. Once the conversation was over, she said 'the whole time you were talking, I was thinking shut up you whiny bitch'. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By NeedBrainBleach - 28/02/2016 15:11 - United States - Lindenhurst

Today, I have officially seen my dad, my two older brothers, and my grandpa all watching porn in the past eighteen years of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 28/02/2016 14:53 - United States - Stanhope

Today, I had to go to the ER for severe lacerations on my hand. Unfortunately, I work at that ER. I had to patch my own hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Yuh Boy - 28/02/2016 14:36 - United States - Wooster

Today, I went to tell an overly attached girl that I wasn't interested in her and I didn't have time for a relationship. Guess who has a new girlfriend. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Noob64 - 28/02/2016 14:14

Today, I found out why I haven't seen my tax refund after filing it a week ago. After going to the site to track the refund, I found out that it had been applied to a prior issue from '09. I was planning on using the money to move into a new place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By workwillbeawkward - 28/02/2016 14:09 - Australia - Mount Colah

Today, I had a massive fight with my boyfriend over text after finding out he cheated on me. After typing a long-winded message full of profanity and anger, I accidentally sent it to my boss who was the message just below his.. Well, tomorrow will be fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ALovingSon - 28/02/2016 13:20 - United States - Rossville

Today, My mom went crazy, and threw a small radio at me. Why? Because she was furious that we had to move all of the stuff out of a room we were renovating, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By HxteMondayz - 28/02/2016 13:18 - United Kingdom - Crowthorne

Today, I was on the bus with my friends. I had a yogurt pouch and one of my friends thought it would be funny to squeeze it in my face. I threw the yogurt behind me not thinking about who it would land on and it turned out, the person who I threw it to was allergic to dairy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Talis99 - 28/02/2016 12:52 - United States - Dayton

Today, I realized it's been 7 years since I had sex. I'm officially as dry as a Vulcan. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By secretlystraight - 28/02/2016 12:48 - Switzerland - Zurich

Today, my parents gave me a talk to convince me to come out, because "it's too obvious for everyone" and they "came in terms with it many years ago". I am straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By oscarrocks - 28/02/2016 12:35 - United States - Middle River

Today, I went to shut the door after letting my dog in. She was feeling playful so she wrapped her leg around my leg so I'd trip, I tripped and fell through a glass door and had to go to the hospital. 28 stitches later my dad tells me I need to replace the door.. I'm paying for the medical bill FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Purpleishrose - 28/02/2016 12:27 - Australia - Coburg

Today, my 'bestfriend' got drunk and started on me for unknown reasons. I told her I'd had enough of it and turned away. She followed up be punching me from behind. She's both a foot shorter than me and half my weight, so apparently its extremely unfair that I then floored her and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By RightOnMyButt - 28/02/2016 12:04 - United States - New Castle

Today, I was having a romp between the covers with my fianceé. I planned for a nice dinner and movie for us later in the day. What I didn't plan for was the mattress topper sliding and tossing me right to the floor in the middle of the deed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By unfriended - 28/02/2016 11:35 - United Kingdom - Romsey

Today, my partner of 4 years and father of our son refused again to accept me on social media. He says he doesn't need to but he will happily add random girls he doesn't even know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 28/02/2016 11:35 - Sweden - Sp?nga

Today, after weeks of obvious lack of emotional commitment from my boyfriend of six months, I suggested that maybe we should take a small break. His immediate response: "Does that mean I can bang other chicks?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 28/02/2016 11:19 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, as a teenager, I had to listen to my mum crying on the phone to someone about our family's financial issues, which include how she is unable to pay for both my siblings and I's school fees, our apartment, etc. To add to the stress, my aunt is suffering from stage 4 cancer. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By no one important - 28/02/2016 10:38 - United States - Hermosa Beach

Today, I talked to my ex and told her about a friend in an open relationship. She yelled at me saying that they are just ways for women to whore themselves out. This is coming from the woman who dumped me, told me there was a chance that we would get together again, and got a bf in 4 days after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By birthday - 28/02/2016 10:28 - United States - Jefferson

Today, was my first birthday party in a couple of years. The night started out well until I got overly emotional, went off on my boyfriend and we got into a huge argument. I started bawling my eyes out in front of all my friends and he took off like a bat out of hell in his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Jajajajaa - 28/02/2016 10:04 - Australia

Today, I went outside for a smoke and i heard my next door nieghbours daughter yell "Dad, Theres cum on your shirt!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Wait, what? - 28/02/2016 09:56 - Denmark - Randers

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after I gave mouth-to-mouth (CPR) to a customer at my work. He said I only did it because I wanted to kiss him and called me a cheating whore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By math - 28/02/2016 09:28 - United States - Mesa

Today, my math teacher dropped my project grade by 20% because my budget was too low. It's a budget project. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By J215B - 28/02/2016 09:24 - United States - Bloomingburg

Today, I found out I missed a party while I was sick. It was supposed to be my surprise party and instead of canceling they decided to have it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By DestinyKing - 28/02/2016 09:10 - United States - West Memphis

Today, I had the best orgasm of my life. Too bad I was alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 28/02/2016 09:05

Today, my middle son went to the ER because his body was feeling numb. I told him that it's probably because he didn't listen to me when I told him something bad would happen from him smoking weed all the time. I found out later that it was due to excess intake of beer; I drink alot of beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 28/02/2016 08:58 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boobs were grabbed for the first time in 2 years. By a baby. FML

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You deserved it 0

By mariri9206 - 28/02/2016 08:35 - United States - Chicago

Today, I didn't get to take my break at work. I had to help cover breaks in the other area of my department and the other person there, who leaves at 7, immediately took their break when the other employee came back. I was only scheduled until 5. FML

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You deserved it 0

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, while leaving a job site, I put a bundle of pipe on my boss's van, picked up a few tools, and left for the day. He called screaming 30 minutes later to inform me that I didn't strap the pipe to the rack. It slid off the van and hit the car in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 093

You deserved it 4 890

Today, during a soccer game, some utter moron got the bright idea of trying to score a goal from his side of the field. I sarcastically made a big show of just barely stopping the ball, and nailed it off to the side. The ball hit a kid so hard in the head that he had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 831

You deserved it 5 050

Today, I found a note in my locker from a really hot guy asking me to prom. I went up to him saying how excited I was to go. He said "Oh you got the note?" and slipped it into the locker next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 317

You deserved it 2 636

Today, I can't sit down for a book or some TV without my wife coming up and moaning at me to "get a hobby, get out of the house once in a while, you never do anything anymore." I have a healthy, balanced social life, but maybe I want to relax in my own house for once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 86

Today, I brought a cupcake to school for my friend's birthday. After taking one bite, she exclaimed that it was the worst thing she had ever tasted and that we should sue the store that I bought it from. I baked it myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 555

You deserved it 5 438

Today, my new boyfriend said I’m only allowed three male friends, and their names are, “the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.” When I told him he was quoting Will Ferrell, I realized he was born in Croatia and doesn’t know who that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 212