Nearly FMLs

By Petra - 03/03/2016 01:41 - United States - Oak Harbor

Today, and everyday as a teacher I don't have many chances to go to the bathroom during the day. I was on my period and bled through my pants. My 8th grade students definitely noticed. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By mswim - 03/03/2016 01:38 - United States - Leicester

Today, after collecting at least 2 bags worth of recyclables I drove to my local Walmart to get cash back. Only 2 of the bottles were accepted. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By BLarks72k - 03/03/2016 01:29 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, My friends house burned down, however I didn't believe her and thought she was joking due to the nonchalant and borderline joking manor she texted me in, only to feel like complete shit minutes later when she FaceTime me with her mom telling me she was just trying to stay positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Matricide - 03/03/2016 01:19 - United States - Abington

Today, I asked my wife for a divorce. She got up, walked out of the house calmly, got into her car, and drove away without saying one word. An hour later, her relationship status on Facebook changed to "Widowed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By batmanishighaf - 03/03/2016 01:16 - United States - Central Point

Today, I dressed up as batman for a comic book comic convention. I was hit by a car on they there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By freyday - 03/03/2016 01:07 - United States - Seattle

Today, my (ex)boyfriend got mad at me and broke up with me for kissing another man. I would be understanding, if this other man didn't happen to be the other lead in the play I star in. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By spicythai - 03/03/2016 00:54 - Canada - Scarborough

Today, I went to eat Thai food. The waiter suggested I don't get the spicy curry; I got the spicy curry. I feel like I just completed a workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By wtf - 03/03/2016 00:54 - United States - Rialto

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she said theres a love mark on my neck. its a pimple. ive been faithful to her for 4 years. she wont believe me and now she wont talk to me. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Kittycorn - 03/03/2016 00:50 - France

Today, my now ex boyfriend dumped me by text, for the second time in the space of a month. He still considers himself the best thing to have ever happened to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Microsoftdrink - 03/03/2016 00:49 - United States

Today, my mom went on a rampage. She yelled at me and said I was a terrible child. She then brought my dad into it. He agreed. What started it you ask? My mom was overcharged sixty cents for pork-chops at Walmart and I told her I needed to go home for homework and that we didn't need a manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By bxilee - 03/03/2016 00:44 - United States - Corona

Today, I realized the only person to show me any love/concern for my well-being in the last several months was the AAA guy, who came and helped me with my flat tire, because I didn't feel good and he wanted to make sure I got home ok. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Tidywider - 03/03/2016 00:43 - United States - Atlanta

Today, i had to watch my mentaly challenged uncle and my baby brother thats 10 months old. I took a nap and not 10 mins into the nap i heard crying in the bathroom. i ran in there with my uncle squirting "Johnson no tears baby shampoo" into the babys eyes... he said it would "stop the tears"fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By UsuallyLurker - 03/03/2016 00:41 - United States - Berkeley

Today, my parents hired a group of people to clean our house. They use this very cheap toxic soap that smells good, but you wouldn't want to eat. I found out they put some of it on my toothbrush head halfway through brushing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 03/03/2016 00:38 - United States - Little Elm

Today, I had to turn down a great job that could put me through college just so my mom won't lose her food stamps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By completely emasculated - 03/03/2016 00:34 - United States - Flagstaff

Today, I found out my wife has been cheating on me. I found out when the toilet backed up and out came the largest condom I have seen in my life. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By ohman - 03/03/2016 00:13 - United States - Hasbrouck Heights

Today, I was told my husband has "in a relationship since 2006" on his FB. We've been married since 2001. He only just filed for divorce last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By bxilee - 03/03/2016 00:07 - United States - Corona

Today, my car got a flat tire. This would've been completely okay if I weren't on my way home early from school because I started my period without being prepared. It bled through my pants. There was no was the AAA guy didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By mangobells - 03/03/2016 00:03 - United States - Olathe

Today, after waiting for a general admission concert for months and waiting in line for nearly two hours in freezing cold weather, security wouldn't let us in because we had purses. We had nowhere to put them. The rule wasn't ever mentioned on the venue's site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By EpicTaco02 - 03/03/2016 00:02 - United States - Springfield

Today, My dad bought tickets for Slipknot and Marilyn Manson near St Louis. I was so happy I turned on slipknot and started headbanging. I got so into it I ended up hitting my head on a counter and bled everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 02/03/2016 23:58 - United States - Bloomington

Today, I was so sleep deprived that when my phone stared to ring i threw my hand up forgetting that i had a insanely hot cup of coffie in my hand not my phone, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By spyrosan2 - 02/03/2016 23:58 - Australia - Adelaide

Today my mother sat me and my sister down and told us she was getting a divorce. Rather than that normal "it's not your fault" or "we'll still love you", she told us it WAS our fault and the only thing that she and dad agree on is how much of a piece of shit I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By kittie101 - 02/03/2016 23:50 - United States - Downingtown

Today, I found out I am pregnant. I don't have a boyfriend or husband. And I've only had sex once....with my neighbor while both of us were wasted... I guess he was silly and didn't wrap his willy...FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By krazied - 02/03/2016 23:46 - United States - San Francisco

Today, we were doing bowling in gym and I was grouped with this guy I like. He accidentally tripped me and I landed right on the bowling pin with my vagina, in pain I pull it out as fast as I can and end up hitting my crush really hard in the penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By SuugaarCuubee - 02/03/2016 23:42 - Canada - Toronto

Today, while at my boyfriends cousin's confirmation, in a large church filled with very religious people, I managed to utter the word hell. In front of his whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By pureNed - 02/03/2016 23:35 - United States - Dayton

Today, I have been awake since I finished my nightshift job at 6:30 AM. Its now 6:32 PM and I haven't been able to get any sleep. I am supposed to be getting up in 2 and a half hours for work. I'm so tired. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 02/03/2016 23:23 - United States - Southbury

Today, my parents told me that if I don't get an abortion they will cut off contact with me because "I'm too dumb to kill the parasite in me." I'm 26 and married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By ouch - 02/03/2016 23:23 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, after having sex for the first time since being diagnosed with Vaginismus, which makes penetration excrutiatingly painful, my boyfriend fell asleep while I went into the bathroom and cried from the pain. I only did it because I wanted to feel emotionally closer to him. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Leebeelives - 02/03/2016 23:21 - United Kingdom - Smethwick

Today, having an upset stomach, I got up for the hundredth time to go to the bathroom. My boyfriend grabbed my leg and refused to let go, not understanding my urgent need. My bowels let go pretty quickly in comparison , I really liked my boyfriend, and my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By djfdiving - 02/03/2016 23:20 - United States - Louisville

Today, I found $16! Putting it in my wallet I found out that not only was it my $16 but I lost my other $75 or so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By whyus - 02/03/2016 23:16 - Denmark

Today, after several years, my family finally got my mother to the doctor because of her odd behaviour. This behaviour included indifference, fatigue, lack of motivation etc, and we suspected a possible depression. Don't worry though, it wasn't depression. It was a brain tumor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 95

Today, I overheard the girl I like tell her friends about me, “I like his personality a lot, it would be so sexy if he was taller. He’s adorable though.” I’m just below average height for a man. I wouldn’t even consider myself super short. I hate being 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 104

Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 545

You deserved it 1 551

Today, I found out that when my friends say they're too busy to hang out with me, what they really mean is that they're going to have an awesome pool party, and don't want me to come. The Instagram stories say it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 919

You deserved it 193

Today, I got locked out of my house. After trying unsuccessfully to jimmy the lock, I managed to climb in through the kitchen window. I soon found out I had an effect on the door after all; it won't open at all any more, even with the right key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 322

You deserved it 5 757

Today, in an effort to save some money, I attempted to paint my own house. Instead, I fell off the ladder and broke my dominant arm. Now I can’t work, brush my teeth, or even wipe my ass. My house is half-painted with stuff everywhere and I have 6 weeks to recover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 277