Nearly FMLs

By SirDemkon - 03/03/2016 18:19 - United States - Canaan

My great-grandmother died almost 2 weeks ago and I just found out today by seeing her obituary in the newspaper.. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By SOL - 03/03/2016 18:07 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my ex called to tell me that he wants me back and he wants to be in our daughter's life again. Who picked up? My very first one-night stand guy. I don't think I'll ever hear from my ex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 03/03/2016 17:59 - Denmark

Today, my boyfriend decided that instead of going on a romantic easter holiday just the two of us, which was planned weeks ago, we are going to be spending easter with his entire family. My only options are to go or spend easter alone, apparently. He dosn't even get why I'm mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By lonely - 03/03/2016 17:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he only went out with me because he likes my brother.FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 03/03/2016 17:47 - United States - Racine

Today, my boyfriend told me that I look like my mom when I orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Andheknows - 03/03/2016 17:47 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, my boyfriend wrote a massive essay about how he's unhappy and doesn't feel appreciated enough because I don't talk about him to many people (so he thinks). A few days ago I told my strict overprotective family about him, knowing shit would hit the fan, to show appreciation towards him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 03/03/2016 17:24 - Philippines - Las Pi?as City

Today, my future father in law, who is a chemist and toxicologist was cooking up a batch of his homemade pesticide/rat poison. He gave me a menacing look saying: "Would you like to try some?". I am beginning to believe that he still does not like me even after all these years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 03/03/2016 17:18 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex in the shower. He pulled out and started screaming because there was blood. I started my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By IAmTheQBall - 03/03/2016 17:13 - United States - Decatur

Today, after weeks of struggling with car problems and availability because of family problems, I finally got some shifts for a great job. Only to find out that I have to go to California this weekend for two weeks for the military. My boss said we have to talk and it could only be one thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By BrokenHeart - 03/03/2016 17:13 - United States - Winterville

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because she said she didn't want to feel guilty for not being able to spending as much time with me as possible. This was the same reason my last one did. And the one before that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By abbycha_ - 03/03/2016 17:00 - United States - Anderson

Today, I was sitting at home sick with a fever so I'm really hot. The FedEx man was dropping off a package and I had to sign for it, so I signed and said thank you as I leaned over and grabbed the box, he said, "no thank you". That's when I remembered I had no pants on, only underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By shellee1983 - 03/03/2016 16:59 - United States - Auburn

Today, upon entering my building, I asked my boss how he was doing. He replied living the dream, then he asked how I was. Since it was raining heavily out side I responded with "about the same, but I'm living the wet dream". Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By anon - 03/03/2016 16:46 - United States - Crown Point

Today, my roommate told me he wasn't going to pay the internet bill because "he didn't need it". My entire school is dependent on Internet and I currently can't get to the library because of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Camry_Girl420 - 03/03/2016 16:38

Today, I got married and during the ceremony the minister told us we can now change our Facebook relationship status. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By VideoGameMaster - 03/03/2016 16:00 - United States - Tyrone

Today, I worked up enough courage to talk to my crush who was supposed to be a video game master. It turns out that I knew more then him. He said he wasn't interested in a girl that's better at games then him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 03/03/2016 15:52 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, I finally drummed up the courage to talk to the girl who I've been exchanging looks with for an entire year. I was in a hurry so after a quick chat and exchanging names, I saw her typing mine on the Facebook. Turns out, her name doesn't exist there. And I still have no friend request. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By bcorns - 03/03/2016 15:31 - United States - Zanesville

Today, despite having the worst case of the runs I was forced to come in to work. Feeling ill I ran to the restroom only to walk in on my best friend and the girl I'm in love with having sex, this wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't have to sit in the stall next to them, they finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By 18mpavli - 03/03/2016 15:16 - United States - Arlington

Today, my girlfriend of 1 and half years left me because she said I don't give her enough. I spent 150 bucks on her for Valentine's Day, 400 on Christmas, and 100 for her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By LPac5295 - 03/03/2016 14:56 - United States

Today, my roommate and his ex decided to get back together. The rest of my roommates and myself were happy when they broke up because they fought on a daily basis and started a never ending amount of drama. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By DobbyGotPwnt - 03/03/2016 14:51 - United States - Columbia

Today, I decided to use the expensive conditioner my future mother-in-law gave me at my bridal shower. I was surprised she got me anything because she hates my guts. Turns out she emptied the bottle and filled it with hair removal cream. I'm now completely bald and the wedding is next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By losing my job - 03/03/2016 14:39 - Netherlands - Rotterdam

Today, after I got hospitalised for my asthma, my boss let me know they might not need me anymore if this happens again. I can't control this! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By leafynitemare - 03/03/2016 14:30 - United States - North Hills

Today, I awoke to an unfamiliar man's voice yelling in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Wraith09 - 03/03/2016 14:30 - Canada - Holland Landing

Today, my snowblower broke, and I had to shovel 3 ft of snow off my driveway, making me late for work. 3 neighbours were out with their snowblowers, but didn't help me at all. The same 3 neighbours whose driveways I cleared last night, and for the last 8 years before they got snowblowers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Overlord247 - 03/03/2016 14:03 - South Africa

Today, I was so sleep deprived that as I was crossing the road to get to my classes, I started hallucinating I was in a game of Frogger. I almost got hit by a truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Damnitall - 03/03/2016 13:33 - South Africa - Sasolburg

Today, I was masturbating on my boyfriends bed (I live with him) when I saw his dad walk by the door on his way to the bathroom. After I resumed pleasuring myself I remembered I never heard the door close...and saw his dad watching me through the crease in the door smiling . Im now paranoid AF. FM

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Onthecouch - 03/03/2016 13:26 - Australia - Sydney

Tonight, my fiancé decided to kick me out of our bed because I wouldn't put out and asked for a drink. It would be funny, if I didn't have a severe chest infection and hadn't already gotten him off twice in three hours.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By loserman67 - 03/03/2016 13:20 - United States - Pottstown

Today I learned that in February I narrowly missed my monthly new business quota for the first time in over two years. I also missed the bonus my company just announced for making your new business quota. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 03/03/2016 13:05 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a hilarious "prank" to sleep with another guy. Yeah.. It's just a prank bro!! FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Lava_Girl - 03/03/2016 13:01 - Australia - Rosanna

Today, after not having sex in over 3 years, I woke up from a dream where I shoved a lava lamp up my vagina. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Hannah - 03/03/2016 12:46 - Spain

Today, I found out that my best friend had sex with my boyfriend back when we were still together and supposedly 'in love'. This was 7 months ago. She's kept this and lied to me about it for all this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my 36 year-old husband decided that I’m not his soulmate and he made a mistake marrying me. Why? Because he believes that the 19 year-old girl he met on his video game online thing is instead, and they’re "meant to be." We’ve been married for 5 years and had our second child a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 410

You deserved it 106

Today, I ran to my car and zoomed to work to avoid being late. I was in such a hurry, I forgot to close all my windows. When I got back to my car, I found a dead squirrel inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 426

You deserved it 8 860

Today, I realized the cute guy in my Spanish class only talks to me so he can steal my answers. He asked if I'd give him the answers for the final as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 606

You deserved it 266

Today, my road rage got so out of hand that I'm now actually inclined to honk obnoxiously at my computer when it's being slow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 853

You deserved it 17 253

Today, I forgot my key inside my apartment. My boyfriend suggested we ask a neighbor to open it. I explained we don't all have the same key, to which he responded, "Well how come they all have the same doorknobs?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 259

You deserved it 5 226

Today, I noticed that when my boyfriend is sick, his sex drive goes through the roof. Too bad his stamina plummets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 836

You deserved it 216