Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 03/03/2016 05:21 - United States - Naperville

Today, my husband's ex gave me a surprise visit at my house. My husband claims he didn't tell her our address. Turns out he isn't lying. She found our home by following him home from work one day. To make matters worse, she wants him back and won't take "no" for an answer despite being married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By degreefailure - 03/03/2016 05:04 - United States

Today, at age 24 I realize the degree I choose at 18 was the wrong one. I am now in giant amount of debt being told if I want a chance in my dream field I need to go back to school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 03/03/2016 04:59 - United States - Crown Point

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he stopped and started accusing me of cheating on him by giving someone else a blow job because my "mouth smells like dick". I didn't cheat, my breath just smells that bad. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By xmrshendersonxx - 03/03/2016 04:52 - United States - Houston

Today, my anxiety is so bad it's causing my insomnia to act up and I can't sleep more than 3 hours even though I'm extremely tired. Just as I was about to finally get some decent sleep, my roommate started blaring her shitty music at full volume. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Duarg - 03/03/2016 04:50 - United States - Melbourne

Today, I was told by my Choral instructor that I couldn't go to the open house for a school I want to because we will be going on Tuesday, the same night as the open house, to an event that makes up 75% of our grade. The school is my dream school, and now I can't sign up for ANY electives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By he didn't even get drunk - 03/03/2016 04:41 - Netherlands - Voorhout

Today, I saw my friend for the first time since this weekend. He went off about this awesome party I went to, and how I should have been there. I was there. With him and others, the entire time. We even hugged when we said goodbye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By firsttimevoter - 03/03/2016 04:38 - United States - Hopkinsville

Today, my grandparents wrote me out of their will because I told them I was voting for Bernie Sanders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 03/03/2016 04:33 - United States - Henderson

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up and drove to class, only to find what looked like my cat dead on the side of the road. She's an inside cat. I was certain it wasn't her because of this, until I got home and realized she'd clawed her way through my screen door. Happy birthday to me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By IamHM - 03/03/2016 04:25 - United States - Albuquerque

Today during the course of one hour, I was puked on, peed on, pooped on, and bled on. Yep, I'm a CNA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By my family sucks - 03/03/2016 04:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I caught my boyfriend of four years sending nudes to my sister. The sister whose 19 and just told our family yesterday she's pregnant. Well at least we know who the father is now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By gottapoop - 03/03/2016 04:16 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I've been in the hospital for severe chest pain. The doctors gave me morphine to help with the pain, but now I have severe stomach pain. The doctors say I need to take a dump, but the morphine made me constipated. Basically the medicine that made me better is making me worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By m. - 03/03/2016 04:14 - United States - Irving

Today, I was at school, and my teacher was talking about girl body parts and all the guys got a boner, but the worst part is, is that the teacher was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Icannevergoback - 03/03/2016 04:11 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I was called to my kids' school because my youngest got a ball gag out of my closest and brought it for show and tell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By whyme? - 03/03/2016 04:08 - United States - Lake Worth

Today, I bought a whole new bedroom and after a few nights, I noticed that the furniture was infested with bed bugs, $3000 down the drain and now another 1000 to hire a company to get rid of them. Not to mention the hives all over my skin, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Lime23 - 03/03/2016 04:05 - United States - Summit

Today, I was at work as a waiter. Right as we are about to close, four women walk in and sit down. They stay for an hour and a half, order food 3 separate time while they were eating the food they previously ordered, and left a $5 tip for me and my co worker for a $200 meal.FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By play it again sports sucks - 03/03/2016 03:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got a customer complaint at work. He claimed I was talking crap about the stuff he brought in to sell. After explaining to my manager I didn't do it. My manager sided with him and fired me. Worst part is I couldn't have done it because I wasn't even working that day. Yay retail. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By questionableee - 03/03/2016 03:50 - United States - Medina

Today, (Wednesday) I went to the doctor for a physical. Saturday I fell roller skating my wrist has been bothering me so I mentioned it. It's broken. I work in a print shop for school and have a job making pizza. I can't do either. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By sophiilou - 03/03/2016 03:40 - United States - Kyle

Today, I was riding my horse and practicing some jumps when she decided it would be a good time to throw me off at full speed. I'm now in the ER with a snapped collarbone. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Foxxxtrottt - 03/03/2016 03:37 - United States

Today, I went and bought a long-board from Wal-mart. 2 hours into having it my friend decides he wants to try it. After losing control of the board he jumped off, the board went flying in front of an 18 wheeler. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By help me - 03/03/2016 03:27 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I told my girl friend of 2 years that I love her. She responded with "Aw thanks buddy"!

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ThatCrazyCow - 03/03/2016 03:16 - United States - Fort Lee

Today, as I was getting ready to go to bed, I stepped in my cats vomit. As I hopped on one leg to the bathroom to wash my foot, I hopped into another puddle of vomit, which I slipped on and fell into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anon - 03/03/2016 03:05 - United States - Stamford

Today, my idiot coworker thought it would be funny to slip some weed into the brownies he brought in for his last day. In other news, it's apparently possible to be allergic to marijuana. You'll never guess how I found out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Fay - 03/03/2016 03:04 - United States - Henryville

Today, I asked my mother to take my pet turtle outside for thirty minutes to help him regulate his body temperature. I strictly said to make sure not to forget him outside while he was in direct sunlight. I now have a dried up dead turtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By You have to be kidding me! - 03/03/2016 02:40 - Canada - Bowmanville

Today, my boyfriend asked for a threesome, reluctantly I agreed to try it. He immediately called his cousin to let her know the good news. Incest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By jayray313 - 03/03/2016 02:34 - United States - Sacramento

Today, it's been two days since I've had anything to eat. It'll be two more before I get paid and can afford to buy food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 03/03/2016 02:26 - United States - Texarkana

Today, is day 92 of living with my fiancé. She had to move in due to a series of unfortunate events. We have decided to wait until marriage to have sex. And so, every night, I sleep next to a virgin who likes to snuggle. Sometimes I just lay awake for hours and twitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 03/03/2016 02:21 - United States - Emmaus

Today, is my son's 11th birthday and we had all these events planned, but there he is sobbing his eyes out because he didn't get accepted into hogwarts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By thefaekitten - 03/03/2016 02:10 - United States - Akron

Today, I had to get a physical done. The doctor stuck his finger in my butt and said he was going to check my prostate gland. This would have been fine if I wasn't a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 03/03/2016 01:58 - United States - Mansfield

Today, I locked myself out of the house after leaving the keys on the TV Stand by the door. I looked at them before shutting and locking the door. FmL

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 03/03/2016 01:47 - Canada - London

Today, my sister, mom and I went to a wax museum. We were having fun until a worker walked out of a service door and they both screamed bloody murder, evacuating the museum. I don't know what's worse - having to explain to the cops that they are both morons or apologizing to the angry worker. FML

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You deserved it 0

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the same store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 422

You deserved it 539 860

Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was acting up, so instead of spanking him, I put him in the corner for timeout. He screamed and thrashed and kicked the walls so hard my neighbors called the police. My sister wasn’t answering her phone, and I had to explain why a 7-year-old was acting like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 130

Today, while performing a therapeutic massage, I dropped my clients head, shuddered, and jumped away. Why? I watch too much Walking Dead and when I lifted her head to stretch her neck, her soft breathing sounded like a zombie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 377

You deserved it 3 143

Today, after my cousin recently died, my aunt basically told me that I shouldn't be sad, because we fought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 109

Today, my wallet got stolen. I don't have a photo ID to get a temporary debit card, and since I don't have a debit card, I can't go to the DMV to get a new license. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 156

You deserved it 1 174

Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 526

You deserved it 44 558