Nearly FMLs

By student - 03/03/2016 12:15 - United States - Great Neck

Today, my teacher, who hates me, gave me back my test which I got a 64 on. After class I went up to him to ask him how I can still maintain a good grade for my report card. He offered to give me back 5 points because when grading all my tests he randomly takes points off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Someone - 03/03/2016 11:53 - United States - Columbia

Today, my 6 year old cousin called me ugly. He said it was because I am black, he is 3 shades darker than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 03/03/2016 11:42 - United States - Crofton

Today, I found out that all the women I work with are synced up. i work at a coffee shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By cheeeksss - 03/03/2016 11:41 - United States

Today, I had an accident at work. I had to be sent to the ER in the middle of my shift. My boss then had the audacity to ask me "you're coming back to work, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By yellow birds - 03/03/2016 11:41 - Australia - Toowoomba

Today, this person I met one day ago professed his love me, and then said the 2000 km distance between us doesn't matter. He is 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By oakleyoaks - 03/03/2016 11:39 - United States - Jamestown

Today, after dating for almost 9 months and spending very many nights together my boyfriend kicks me out of bed at 5am to the couch because he can't sleep with me there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Lol-a-bunny - 03/03/2016 11:24 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, on my way home after a long shift at the masquerade-store, everyone kept looking at me funny. At first, I thought it was because of the lack of makeup, or my very tired eyes, but when I got home I realized it was probably because of the bunnyears and pink-painted nose. Not the first rime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 03/03/2016 10:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today its been a week since my child brought home an illness from school. After many days of fevers I finally have started to feel better. My husband just brought home a different bug, the song burning ring of fire fits quite well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 03/03/2016 10:30 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, I have two jobs AND school to help me pay for my and my boyfriends apartment. My boyfriend keeps nagging me to quit both my jobs to hang out more in our home... that we can't afford if I don't work two jobs... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By whhhhhhyyyyyy - 03/03/2016 10:30 - Australia - North Sydney

Today, I was at work at a Greek restaurant. We have this system where we also deliver food to the wine bar across the road. I brought over a souvlaki to this old Greek guy and he said "do you come with this?" This is about the hundredth time I've heard this creepy joke. No. I don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By theloner - 03/03/2016 10:23 - India - Mumbai

Today, I found out that my crush's entire squad likes me except him. He says I am a really good friend. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By heartbreak - 03/03/2016 09:55 - United States - New York

Today, the love of my life told me I was his dream girl and perfect for him, but I'm also sexually inexperienced, and sex is just too important to him for us to ever be together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 03/03/2016 09:37 - United States

Today, after a 4 week delay, I finally got my tax return. I was going to use it to pay off some bills and be financially secure for the first time in 3 years. This afternoon, my company laid off half the employees. GUESS who's going to be living off their tax refund until they can find a job? Fml.

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You deserved it 0

By yolorina - 03/03/2016 09:07 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was at work helping out a customer and his girlfriend. As the guy was talking I couldn't help but stare at a giant pile of snot running down his nose. His girlfriend thought I thought he was cute and even yelled at me for "looking at her boyfriend". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 03/03/2016 08:59 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I got a nauseous and my doctor told me to stay at home for 2-3 days and drink lots of fluids. The medication that I'm on right now gives me diarrhea. The medication to prevent the diarrhea makes me sick to the point that I vomit. So basically I'm spewing from both ends. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 03/03/2016 08:49 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, I returned from holiday to find that my pet rats I entrusted my friend to take care of were given to her boyfriend as food for his snakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Queen_of_Night - 03/03/2016 08:45 - United States - Saratoga

Today, the firm that holds my contract told the company I work for that none of their employees are allowed to attend the off-site fun day because alcohol will be served. We're all in our late 20's and early 30's. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 03/03/2016 08:10 - United States - Truckee

Today, a really cute girl asked me if I wanted to go see a movie with her. Staying loyal to my current girlfriend, I declined. 10 minutes later, my girlfriend sent me a text saying we need to break up.

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You deserved it 0

By Jess - 03/03/2016 07:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out after two years after having two root canals on my lower molars. I need them both extracted due to infection. So I paid two grand just to have them removed two years later. FML

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You deserved it 0

By poopyhands - 03/03/2016 07:17 - United States - Miami

Today, I had to poop in the middle of an important math test. I was in such a rush to get back to class that when I finished, I didn't wash my hands. When I got back to class I realized I had poop sticking to my index finger. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 2

By CrapGotReal - 03/03/2016 06:55 - United States - Birmingham

Today, a resident where I work went into another room & pooped on the rug, smeared it on all of the bedding/linens & her clean clothes. He then took his socks off & put his feet in it, smashing it between his toes. It took me 30+ min to clean everything up, & he wasn't even my resident. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Missa_Sissa - 03/03/2016 06:54 - United States - Helena

Today, I went on a first date for the first time since I broke up with my boyfriend. Everything was going great until the end of the night when the guy groped me and then proceeded to ask me to touch his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 03/03/2016 06:31 - United States - Comfort

Today, while at a supermarket with my girlfriend to order her a corsage for prom, she said yes to every first thing the employee suggested. When we finished and I had paid, she broke down crying in an open area of the store about how she didn't get it how she wanted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By doyouhaveany - 03/03/2016 06:18 - Australia - Carlton

Today, I realized just how boring I really am when I found myself talking excitedly about a "cool looking rock I found in my garden". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By AVeryPainedCook - 03/03/2016 06:15 - United States - Aberdeen

Today, I was cooking a delicious roast in the oven. I took it out, and burnt myself on the pan. When I tried to put it back in, I burnt myself on the same finger even worse. It is on my dominant hand, and now it hurts too much to hold anything; such as a pencil. I draw for a living. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By danman27 - 03/03/2016 05:59 - United States - Fremont

Today, I bought adopted an African Gray parrot. When I brought him home he immediately started swearing. This would have been funny if there wasn't an impressionable five year old in the house. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Swandive235 - 03/03/2016 05:57 - United States - Boulder

Today, I was going to the bathroom when I saw a silverish bug crawl under my shower mat. When I pulled up the shower mat I found hundreds of silverfish taking refuge. FML

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You deserved it 0

By dirknic - 03/03/2016 05:54 - United States - Mandan

Today, is my 21st birthday. Today, I was also stranded in my car on the side of the highway for 6+ hours without heat, cell phone service & 30 miles to the closest town... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By sh36595 - 03/03/2016 05:47 - United States - Chapel Hill

Today, as I was unloading steel off of a truck at work, a piece fell and sliced my left hand wide open between my forefinger and thumb. I'm left handed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By sunnybuns127 - 03/03/2016 05:21 - United States - Sarasota

Today, I had a visit from jehovah witnesses, as they constantly come by my house.. I finally decided to be nice and get the door for once, and apparently later one followed me to work. I hadn't realize this until I was using the bathroom and she KNOCKED on my bathroom stall. FML

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You deserved it 0

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my mom made me teach my delusional gran web browsing. I barely made it to YouTube before she sneered at me, and told me to "stop pissing about before I smash your face in." Two hours and multiple slaps later, she still doesn't get what a URL is, and I fear for my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 279

You deserved it 3 054

Today, my girlfriend and I finally watched Toy Story 3; I ended up crying when the toys almost die. After the movie, my girlfriend broke up with me because I embarrassed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 287

You deserved it 12 348

Today, I'm 36 years-old, living with my parents, in debt. My mom always wants to solve my problems by giving me money, which she later claims as "borrowed", so now I'm highly in debt with the bank… and her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 469

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 001

You deserved it 5 898

Today, I went shopping with my boyfriend. He tried on a pair of trousers which didn't fit, so he asked me to change them, so off I went. I returned with another pair for him to try on, found him bent over and blurted out, "What's with the terrible underwear?" I'd entered the wrong changing room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 898

You deserved it 9 560

Today, I keep getting prank calls from unknown numbers. They keep making fun of my dog’s death, calling me a fat and stupid loser who can’t get laid, and making sexual moaning noises. I can’t block “Unknown” numbers. It got so overwhelming that I broke down in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 534

You deserved it 147