Nearly FMLs

By Pokemon trainer - 04/03/2016 10:09 - United States

Today, I stayed up till 1:35 AM trying to catch a frog in my bathroom, the only odd part being that I don't have a frog. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By uselessmcuslesserson - 04/03/2016 09:58 - Australia - Bibra Lake

Today, the cash register ran out of paper. No one in the shop knew how to replace it and the instructions weren't helpful. So we had to call in a supervisor on her day off to do it. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By knepmj - 04/03/2016 08:50 - United States

Today, as always, i went to my girlfriend's work. When i walked in, i saw my ex's dad was there. We said our awkward hello's and minded our own business. Not 3 minutes later my ex comes in and starts causing problems with my girlfriend, she has no way of knowing we're even together. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By lovesm - 04/03/2016 08:48 - Australia - Windsor

Today, my university classes were cancelled for the third day in a row. I still have to look online and do all of the work. But now I've missed 3 days of work and spent over $25 in go card fees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By DMS215 - 04/03/2016 08:47 - United States - Fpo

Today, I was looking over my shoulder as I popped a zit.. And it squirted into my eye. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By ARGOTH - 04/03/2016 08:41 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I woke up feeling that I overslept, as I checked my watch I saw I was 2 hours late for work, As I raced to get to work I saw a Speeding Camera flash as I was above speed limit meaning I'm getting fine, Also turns out my watch was upside down and I was early 4 hours early... FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By justagirl95 - 04/03/2016 08:38 - United States - Chicago

Today, I had yet another fight with my mother because she refuses to believe tuna is considered both seafood and meat and yes, it is very possible to be allergic to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By mamaweston - 04/03/2016 08:36 - United States - Sellersburg

Today, my final stitch thankfully fell out from a surgery where my OBGYN had removed my tubes. He also fixed an umbilical hernia I'd gotten during my last pregnancy. I guess he's new to that seeing that now instead of a hernia, I have what looks like a raspberry growing out of my belly button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By mamaweston - 04/03/2016 08:29 - United States - Sellersburg

Today, I was down to my last wits with my three year old who spent the day doing everything I told her not to do and doing nothing that I told her to do. I finally told her to go to time out where she then decided to tell me that she doesn't answer to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By justagirl95 - 04/03/2016 08:28 - United States - Chicago

Today, I had yet another fight with my mother because she refuses to believe tuna is seafood and yes, it is very possible to be allergic to it.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By needtostudy - 04/03/2016 07:58 - United States - Portland

Today, I got kicked out of my university's library for disturbing other students. Why? because I was watching a video of a cadaver arm dissection (on mute) for my A & P lab. I don't have access to another computer, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By mila_hope - 04/03/2016 07:20 - United States

Today, I was charged with rape because I'm older than my rapist. He isn't being charged for anything because even though he raped me, in the eyes of the law I raped him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By DemonEthanol - 04/03/2016 07:19 - United States - Columbus

Today, a man came by the pharmacy where I work. By law, I have to check IDs and confirm the patient date of birth. He was picking up his mother-in-law's meds and did not know her DOB. When I explained this, he got pissed, called me a motherfucker, and stormed off. Because I didn't break the law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Abby1122421 - 04/03/2016 07:02 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I was to skinny. Three months and 70 pounds ago he wanted me to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By VoodooPriestess - 04/03/2016 06:55 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I tried to mend bridges between my brother and grandma. Well, she's transferred all her hate and anger onto me, so mission accomplished! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 04/03/2016 06:47 - United States - La Verne

Today, my now ex-boyfriend of 2 weeks broke up with me because I kept saying I didn't want to hook up. When I had to explain I'm waiting until marriage he cried "You made me waste so much time!" and dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 04/03/2016 06:45 - United States - Columbia

Today, I realized how socially awkward I am. In class, my teacher asked a question and I whispered the answer very loud. When she asked someone to repeat it, I just sat there while everyone stared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By shortstackk_83 - 04/03/2016 06:40 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, I was about to give head to my bf and we found out he has HPV. I don't have HPV. What a way to find out you've been cheated on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 04/03/2016 06:39 - United States - Norristown

Today, I went to the gynecologist for the first time. I am 21 years old and have yet to have sex. When I told the nurse doing my paperwork this, she gaped, double checked my birthdate and said "You've never had sex? Never ever? And you're 21?" This happened with the nurse practitioner as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By dildo_fuckstorm - 04/03/2016 06:32 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I spoke to my mother and step-father for the first time in 5 years. They asked why I'm so angry with them. They said I have no reason to be angry. They've obviously forgotten the years I spent being beaten or the year I spent living illegally in a storage shed when they threw me out at 17.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 04/03/2016 06:09 - United States - Oceanside

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I found out she has been secretly hanging out with her ex. Somehow in her head it was my fault they weren't together anymore, even though they split before we had even meet because he cheated on her. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By TheRedBaron12 - 04/03/2016 06:00 - United States - Bluefield

Today, my grandmother told me she wishes I'd get cancer, all because I don't want to be a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By crazy man - 04/03/2016 05:57 - United States

Today, I was with my Mom stopped at a red light. This homeless guy was holding up a sign saying he needed money. I rolled my window down & held out a dollar. As he neared the car, he snatched the dollar, started screaming & yelling at me & waving his arms. We were behind traffic & couldn't move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By dildo_fuckstorm - 04/03/2016 05:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to the bar just for a drink. saw a beautiful girl across the bar, and figured I'd actually take my chances for once and buy her a drink. As soon as the drink hits her hand, before I could speak another word, she puts her hand up to my face and says "I'd rather straddle a parking cone."

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By BirthdayGirl - 04/03/2016 05:43 - United States - Birmingham

Today, is my birthday. And it is also my boyfriends. Anytime I try to argue something in my favor, I can't use the "it's MY birthday" card. We are currently ordering kids meals at McDonald's for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By koolkidlikesfood - 04/03/2016 05:33 - United States - Napa

Today, I had forgotten something I needed at school so I had to get off the bus, which was a few blocks away by that point, and run back. Once I had gotten back I found out the thing I needed was gone. I was waiting for the next bus and realized I lost my bus pass. I had to walk 4 miles home. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 04/03/2016 05:21 - United States - Westminster

Today, my step brother told me he liked me way before our parents got married. Now that our parents are getting divorced, he said that he swore to make me his. But, I'm getting married in two weeks. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By jinique87 - 04/03/2016 05:19 - United States - Bridgeville

Today, my mom told me the reason she had me was to gain weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Jeffear - 04/03/2016 05:14 - United States - Pflugerville

Today, a really cute girl asked if I wanted go see a movie with her, staying loyal to my girlfriend, I declined. 10 minutes later, my girlfriend sent me a text saying we need to break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymous198913 - 04/03/2016 04:52 - United States

Today, after a year of patiently waiting, I was finally able to donate my blood. After taking a long time to fill out paperwork, they tested my blood to make sure I was ok to donate. Apparently I'm anemic, and I don't have any blood to spare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was fired from my job because my boss "doesn't think I'm happy there". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 336

You deserved it 1 335

Today, I went over to confront my parents about how my siblings always get to visit and all I do when I’m over is work on their house or take care of grandma. My mom was very upset. Then she snuck out with my sister, leaving me to take care of grandma until she got back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 858

You deserved it 156

Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 660

You deserved it 5 423

Today, I had to come to terms with the fact that I'm getting older because my pubic hair is turning white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 911

You deserved it 5 927

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 097

You deserved it 3 990

Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 547

You deserved it 2 537