Nearly FMLs

By Liyara - 07/03/2016 15:04 - United Kingdom - Hemel Hempstead

Today, after specifically asking my boss if she wanted me to do a certain task and her saying someone else was going to do it, she made me stay on for half an hour to do that task. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Thanks a lot Max - 07/03/2016 14:53 - Australia - Golden Grove

Today, I was doing homework on my bed when my dog walked into my room. I looked up and could tell he was going to wipe his butt. I wasn't concerned until I saw him drag a big poo stain across the carpet. He did it in the middle of the room, and the stain won't come out and still stinks.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By rSKTL - 07/03/2016 14:35 - United States - Aransas Pass

Today, I ran around my house naked because nobody was home and as I was doing gymnastics in the living room, naked, my mom walked in to me doing the splits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 2

By mylifesucks - 07/03/2016 14:21 - United States - Rockford

Today, I went to school after a long painful break up with my girlfriend over the weekend. I found out the painting I just started the week before of her in art class could not be changed to a different assignment. I'm now stuck painting her for the next 2 weeks of my life. we dated for 3 years...

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By NickACD - 07/03/2016 14:06 - United States - El Cajon

Today, my neighbors three huskies finished digging a hole under our fence. They seemed to enjoy our larger backyard and had fun playing with our 8 year old German shepherd and nearly a year old boxer. This would've been a dream come true, if they didn't crap, gang up on Bella, and mount Roxi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 07/03/2016 13:59 - United States - Ashburn

Today is my four year anniversary with my company. I went into work and updated the job postings we have online and noticed the position of Corporate Recruiter was added by someone else. That is my position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By why - 07/03/2016 13:49 - United States - Denver

Today, I was gone for my water polo tournament on our anniversary, my BF and I decided it was okay to move our date. After a nice evening with great food and great shared moments, he went home. I thought the night went well until I was sent a text saying he wanted to break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Outofwork - 07/03/2016 13:28 - United States - San Antonio

Today, after being out of work for three weeks, I have officially applied for every available job in my job field in my city. I have put in over 35 applications in the past three weeks with no call backs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By milton - 07/03/2016 13:21 - United States - San Luis Obispo

Today my boss posted a job ad looking for someone to join our department. The description was about 75% of what I do. He put the starting pay as $1 less per hour than I am paid. So much for 7 years of hard work being worth something. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By mortified teen - 07/03/2016 12:56 - Anonymous Proxy

Today, my dad has come up with a new way of punishing me every time I misbehave he embarrasses me in front of my friends. In the last 3 weeks he has shown them my baby pictures where I'm naked in the bath and told them about how I wet the bed till I was 9. My dad is evil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By BTvSM - 07/03/2016 11:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, While running on a bike trail, I somehow didn't see the big hole in the ground and fell right into it. I now can't walk, so there goes the national track meet I had next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Denise1988 - 07/03/2016 11:19 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my father in law walked into my room while I was sleeping topless. I woke in time to see him realize what he was seeing as he awkwardly turned away. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 07/03/2016 11:04 - Canada - Regina

Two nights ago my girlfriend went out drinking. She won't text me back or answer my calls but she's posting pics of her new boyfriend on Facebook..fml

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 07/03/2016 10:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I volunteered to let a girl stay in my dorm while she did an overnight visit at my college. After she left I realized my covers were damp. She pissed in my bed and didn't say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By hurley12 - 07/03/2016 10:19 - United States - Great Falls

Today, I realized after chasing my escape artist dog for seven blocks was the most exercise I've got in almost a year FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Alice - 07/03/2016 10:05 - Netherlands

Today, no word of a lie, I spent 2 and a half hours hiding behind the sofa, naked and freezing my tits off when I was almost caught masturbating in the living room by my mother and her ladies church group and I was forced to dash for a place to hide with my vibrator still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 2

By raaron773 - 07/03/2016 09:46 - India - Mumbai

Today, my girlfriend tried to break up with me. When I asked her why? She told me that her friends said I "might" hurt her in the future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Lemuel - 07/03/2016 09:38 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I went to my mother's church. After using the bathroom and sitting down, a mentally-challenged guy deemed my pants zipper to not be zipped up high enough for him, and proceeded to fix it himself. I'm not sure what's worse: getting groped by a stranger in church or getting a boner off it. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 07/03/2016 09:18 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, my best friend and I helped his father move to a new apartment after my friend's parents had an ugly divorce. During this, I tore a muscle in my wrist and the doctor says that i can't use my left hand for a month..... I had to cancel a kickboxing tournament next week wich was going to pay my monthly bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By played1 - 07/03/2016 09:08 - New Zealand - Tauranga

Today,I went to a bar, a girl was flirting with me, giving me the eyes for ages, do I brought her a drink, she then thanked me and handed it to her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By It's not even that short - 07/03/2016 08:09 - United States - Omaha

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. His reason? "I can't date a girl whose hair is shorter than mine." He's the one who encouraged me to cut my hair this short... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 07/03/2016 07:39 - United Kingdom

Today, after going to A&E with a burning a-hole, I figured out my boyfriend had refilled the moist toilet tissue wipes box with dettol cleaning wipes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By RussellvilleGirl - 07/03/2016 07:29 - United States - Clarksville

Today, I had told my fiancé and her mother, jokingly, that I had a fire in my pants. Quick to think, my fiancé offered to "put it out", she then socked me in nether regions. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Stubbly - 07/03/2016 07:21 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today I'm so tired and overworked I tried to shave my legs with un upside-down razor. I was halfway through my second leg when I noticed. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Ugh... again?! - 07/03/2016 07:21 - United States

Today, my boyfriend had two drinks and fell asleep on the couch again. He won't wake up and I have no idea what time he has to be up for work in the morning because of his variable schedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By tigerisabelle - 07/03/2016 07:19 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to get a tattoo in memory of my little sister who passed away. My ex boyfriend was my tattoo artist, but I didn't think too much of it until I learned the tattoo he had recommended was in fact a gang symbol. My wrist can now start a street war. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Tommy1340 - 07/03/2016 07:13 - United States

Today, I have a really bad cough, and the only medicine I've found that helps also gives me the shits. So now I have to choose between not taking the medicine and spend all day hacking up a lung, or take it and spend all day on the toilet. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By thatgirl - 07/03/2016 07:07 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I drove my new unregistered car with a permit to get a safety certificate inspection performed. My husband was following me in his "registered" car to make sure I got there safely. Guess who got a fine for driving an unregistered vehicle without a permit (hint- it wasn't me). FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 07/03/2016 06:52 - United States - Louisville

Today I was awoken at 4 am to a massive crashing noise. My boyfriend was so drunk he threw a shoe at the wall while trying to kill a shadow and shattered a picture frame. Everytime I turned on the lights to clean up the glass on the floor he got up, turned the lights back off and giggled

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Just My Luck - 07/03/2016 06:51 - United States - Denver

Today, while walking through my kitchen after dinner, my phone fell and bounced from the floor into my cat's water bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I drove to the beach for an hour to relax before returning to the intense workload of midterms. A kid walking by threw a cracker near me and I was instantly attacked by a group of seagulls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 603

You deserved it 511

Today, I found out why my professor accused me of not handing in an important essay before the due date. Apparently she spilled coffee all over it and didn't dare to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 323

You deserved it 168

Today, my husband called me a nympho after I told him I'd ideally like us to have sex more than once a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 781

You deserved it 3 328

Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 589

You deserved it 21 164

Today, at a family gathering, I gave my toddler my phone to get a moment of peace. After assuring my nosy, judgemental aunt and cousin that I wasn't worried about it because I have dropped it myself numerous times over the last two years, and I trusted the OtterBox phone case it was in, my son dropped and broke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 950

Today, my doctor said I "might" have an enlarged heart and an irregular heartbeat. It "could" be seriously life-threatening and I "should" go to a specialist for further tests. My insurance refuses to cover my consultation with the specialist because the doctor's wording is too uncertain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 461

You deserved it 1 303