Nearly FMLs

By thatdrunkredneck - 06/03/2016 08:15 - United States - Raymore

Today I went to pay an parking ticket I had received the day before. After I paid I was informed that they had issued a warrant for my arrest. Sat in jail for 6 hours just for them to come apologize for mistaking my name on the ticket with a felons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By SuperLemon99 - 06/03/2016 07:34 - Australia - Doncaster East

Today, I went suit shopping for my sister's wedding. As I took off the suit I had tried on, the tag ripped off. I had to pay over $400 for a suit I didn't even want. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Arcstar_Elite - 06/03/2016 07:21 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I was at an outdoor event with a girl I had been crushing on for a long time. I finally got up the courage to talk to her. Then, out of nowhere, came one of the biggest dogs I have ever seen. It knocked me down and started humping me right in front of her. She never spoke to me again. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 06/03/2016 06:53 - Denmark

Today, my big brother started telling rape jokes. I'm a survivor of a brutal rape. He knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Concerned Parent - 06/03/2016 06:22 - United States - Glen Carbon

Today, I took my daughter to see the new Zootopia movie. In front of us, there was a man stroking a plush of the main character. My daughter saw and started talking to him. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By HateDriving:( - 06/03/2016 06:20 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, some guy reared ended me at 45 MPH while I was stopped. He then had the nerve to blame me because "You're a teenager," and "it's always somehow your fault." He then refused to give me his information and tried to drive off while I called my parents in a panic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By That really didn't make it better... - 06/03/2016 06:06 - United States - Hudsonville

Today, my manager said, "Now, before I say anything, I just want to be clear that I have fucked a black guy," before diving into a racist spiel about black people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By tayyymeds - 06/03/2016 06:02 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, within a matter of 6 days I've managed to get a 3 day stomach flu and give it to all my roommates, break out in hives as a reaction to something I don't know, get a shot in my butt, and have my childhood cat die of kidney failure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By anonymous - 06/03/2016 05:55 - United States - South Bend

Today I got money from my YouTube videos, my parents found out and made me delete my account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By DeathofCareBear - 06/03/2016 05:47 - United States - San Francisco

Today, one of my friends said I look like someone who would potentially shoot up a school. Everybody else at my lunch table agreed and not matter what I said I couldn't change there minds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By assholeswithpepsi - 06/03/2016 05:46 - Canada - Surrey

Today, after a gruelling day at work with a lot of sweat from lifting equipment, I couldn't wait to go home and wash up. As I was walking back to the train station, some asshole from the balcony above me dumped his entire cup of pepsi onto my head. Not the refreshing shower I had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By jurassicpahrk - 06/03/2016 05:18 - United States - Glendale

Today, I saw my 20 year old boyfriend pick out a booger and eat it while sitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By dumbdriver - 06/03/2016 05:15 - United States - Amarillo

Today, I went to the DMV to get my license after three months of my dad yelling at me and pressuring me to finish my super difficult online course. When I got there, they couldn't find me on their records. Turns out I did the wrong one -the much longer and harder one that wasn't even required. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By ... - 06/03/2016 05:14 - United States

Today, as I was watching a movie the child behind me kept kicking my seat when I turned around to ask him to stop he spilled soda down my shirt. Once I was done cleaning the soda off myself the person at the box office wouldn't let me back into the movie FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By HighLlama - 06/03/2016 05:12 - United States - Glen Oaks

Today, I shat myself as I was walking into my house. I had to wait an hour to take a shower because my parents were fucking in the only bathroom and I found that out by walking in on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By csomos_lynn - 06/03/2016 04:32 - United States - La Crosse

Today, I had my first cup of coffee. I'm 21 years old and have a three month old baby, so energy was much needed. It felt great, but I've had the craps all day and I just had to text my husband, "I'm sorry, I just shit the bed. I thought it was a fart." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By five hour cashier - 06/03/2016 04:24 - United States - Pottstown

Today, I got fired from my first job. I only trained for five hours. I am a shy and introverted person, so I don't socialize a whole lot. I was told that I had been doing my training for the job really well. I was fired because I didn't have enough "energy" and had trouble projecting my voice. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Sorry for Emotions - 06/03/2016 04:22 - United States - Wyoming

Today, after watching a film and being reduced to tears at one point, a friend thought it would be funny to record it and share it on FaceBook. It's been seen more times than the population of my city. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 06/03/2016 04:18 - United States - Fresno

Today, I hurt both of my middle fingers and now they stick out a bit. Every time I stretch, people think I'm flipping them off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By samsontan - 06/03/2016 04:17 - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Today, my girlfriend of 8months said she wanted to break up with me because i did not care about her. I had been driving 60km every altenative days just to ger her her favourite breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By MallowMistress - 06/03/2016 04:06 - United States

Today, after months of trying to get pregnant, I found out I was... Then my boyfriend went into a meltdown and is now trying to convince me we're not ready so we need to give the child to his sister. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 06/03/2016 04:04 - United States - Reading

Today, my sperm-donor of a father accused me of being responsible for the sexual abuse I endured at his hands as a child, before backtracking and telling me his primary motive for abusing me was to encourage my mother to get over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 06/03/2016 03:51 - United States - Sicklerville

It was my girlfriends birthday and i got her a massage and she looked at the other options and said i bought the cheepest one and said i didn't love her. The massage cost $100. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 06/03/2016 03:51 - United States - Houston

Today, while checking out a customer, I thought she told me she didn't want an item so I took it from her to put away. She became irate and said I snatched it. She made me apologize and explain the discount policy for dirty clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 06/03/2016 03:25 - United States - Kaysville

Today, I learned that I'm not in a 3-way relationship. I'm a side bitch for a bisexual couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By SavageSmith - 06/03/2016 03:20 - United States - Bowling Green

Today, my parents asked me why I never get out of the house or hang out with friends but every time I ask to go it they tell me no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By taylapenguin - 06/03/2016 03:09 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, My father (who is not living with me) messaged me saying that i can't have my presents/money from my birthday because I don't deserve them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By CoolBean - 06/03/2016 03:08 - United States - Pueblo

Today, I found out my dad used to beat up guys simply for the fact that they were gay. I'm gay. Looks like I'll be staying in this closet for a while longer.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Olliecat - 06/03/2016 03:04 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I discovered how annoying vegans can be. I meet the sort that always tells you they're vegan and had to bring up all the cosmetic companies that test on animals. It took all my will power to not punch them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 06/03/2016 03:03 - United States - Wilson

Today I was walking down the street when someone threw a trash can of used tampons out the window. The trash can knocked me out, and I woke up looking like Leonidas at the end of 300, but with tampons instead of arrows. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

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The Top

Today, in spite of 2 different types of bug spray, underwear, and jeans, I discovered not one, but two mosquito bites on my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 646

You deserved it 237

Today, my brother deleted all traces of the novel I've been working on for three years from my laptop. The reason? When I was born I "stole all of Mum and Dad's attention." He's 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 792

You deserved it 5 741

Today, I sneezed while my ID photo was being taken. I look like a total moron in it. The photographer refused to retake the photo because I "clearly" faked the sneeze just to be funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 080

You deserved it 1 788

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 805

You deserved it 25 019

Today, I told my fiancée I was going to the gym. She gave me a dozen "quick, easy errands" that took me over three hours to finish. When I was done, I called her and said I was going to the gym now. She yelled, "You still haven't gone? You've been out for days! What have you been doing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 957

You deserved it 181

Today, I once again came to the realization of how boring my life is when I noticed that the stray cat in my yard walks in a really silly manner, and I watched it for what seemed like an eternity, utterly fascinated, until it left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 166