Nearly FMLs

By kaythanxbai - 08/03/2016 05:05 - South Africa - Kinross

Today, my friend tried to set me up with a guy. We all went drinking together, and things were going really well until I puked in front of him on the steps of a university. It wasn't even the university I attend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 08/03/2016 04:34 - United States - Somerset

Today, I competeted in an art contest. One of the judges was the man who raped me 3 years ago. Upon seeing him I had a panic attack and had to leave. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 08/03/2016 04:19 - United States - New London

Today, I woke up excited, ran to my mother, and asked what day it was. She non chalatley said Monday. It was my birthday. Then, I waited all day for any happy birthday wishes, and only a text message came from my sister, saying, "Happy birthday you lazy fuck." FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Kayyoungsterr - 08/03/2016 04:09 - United States

Today, while showing the guy I'm crushing on some thing cool I had ordered online, I opened my email to find I still had open my order confirmation message for a new vibrator.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By _lifemyfuck_ - 08/03/2016 04:03 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. As he was dozing off he said to me, "Jasmine, I love you"... My name is Megan. Jasmine is his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 08/03/2016 03:59 - United States - Medina

Today, my 8 year old daughter came to me crying, naked, and wet. When I asked her what was wrong, she said that she had dropped her, brand new and very expensive, iPad in the bath tub, and now it will not turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By SmoothedWall - 08/03/2016 03:52 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I find out that my girlfriend and one of my best friends are having relations. I'm stuck in a 2 year lease with her.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Taylor - 08/03/2016 03:51 - United States - San Diego

Today, my boyfriend and I were doing 69 in the back of the car parked in a dark street. Not long after a cop knocked and asked us to leave. He came back and added I probably wouldn't have seen you if the headlights were off. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 08/03/2016 03:35 - United States - Mansfield

Today, I realized that I had fallen for my friends girlfriend. Once it was brought up, everything fell apart in our friendship. not only did I not get the girl, my friend of 14 years had abandoned our friendship, and wants nothing to do with me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By omgigi42 - 08/03/2016 03:35 - United States - Easton

Today, even though he knows that I'm insecure about the size of my breasts, and after assuring me that they're fine and he loves them, my boyfriend made a joke that I'd be better off with someone else's boobs. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By bitchhh - 08/03/2016 03:31 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I found out that the guy I've been messing around with for around 6 months has a girlfriend and 3 other side bitches. Plus I just found out I'm pregnant on top of it. What a great day. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 08/03/2016 03:27 - United States - Olympia

Today, my hippy of a mother called me a "drone" for wanting to join the military. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By alerra - 08/03/2016 03:22 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, my boyfriend asked me to be his girlfriend again. He apparently forgot we were dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By fuckthisshit - 08/03/2016 03:19 - United States - Kernersville

Today, after five months of waiting for our first home to be built, we finally moved in. On the first night of living there, the sewage got backed up and flooded our front lawn. My in laws were over.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anon - 08/03/2016 03:07 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, My friend and I got 10% off of a presentation because we had too much information on one slide and our font for that one slide was too small. We were told to use a specific number of slides and not one over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By leah_kascar - 08/03/2016 03:04 - United States - Hialeah

Today, I was undressing in an ER room and a cute doctor walked in by accident. He apologized and said it was his first day, I wanted to say "no problem" but it came out "you're welcome" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By hairy - 08/03/2016 03:00 - United States

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than some of the hairs on my head. I am a teenage girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By 5sonic - 08/03/2016 02:49 - United States - Hoboken

Today, I woke to find my laptop screen shattered. Turns out my sister's laptop fell from her bunk bed onto mine, effectively breaking the screen. Oh, and her computer is completely fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By thefaekitten - 08/03/2016 02:34 - United States - Akron

Today, my mom made me take a dish out of the broiler. I told her it was burning me, but she told me to stop overexaggerating. I now have a two burns and a blister on my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By momspaghetti - 08/03/2016 02:25 - United States - Akron

Today, while chasing my 3 year old cousin in the yard, my balls slipped out one of my shorts leg holes. My cousin saw and was so amazed that she told our whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By taymichelle - 08/03/2016 01:54 - United States - Terre Haute

Today, I picked up a white deodorant shaped bottle with a blue cap... Put it on and fifteen seconds later my armpits start burning, wasn't deodorant. It was icy hot FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Liv3366 - 08/03/2016 01:44 - United States - Mary Esther

Today, while performing a song that I've on for months for my State's Choir Festival, I fell down the steps, broke the heel of my shoe, and passed out. Three times to be exact. All In front of high schools from all over my state, and on live television. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By sh4ll0truth88 - 08/03/2016 01:15 - United States - Deland

Today, I got called into personal office after my break. I was sent home early from work cause I have a walking cast on. My foots been broken for over a month and I've had the cast for two weeks. I've worked the whole time, FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anon - 08/03/2016 01:08 - United States

Today, I have terrible food poisoning that's coming out of both ends and only a half of a roll of toilet paper left. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By NurseGabby - 08/03/2016 00:27 - United States - Huntersville

Today, my boss announced to all my coworkers that I'm off on Friday, so they need to be prepared to pick up the slack. She neglected to mention that I'm having oral surgery. So now my coworkers are giving me the cold shoulder, and I get to go face my extreme dental phobia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Leauge - 08/03/2016 00:20 - United States - Russellville

Today, a eighth grader asked me to her dance. I'm seventeen, everyone that has heard about it is shunning me until I say yes and will possibly continue to shun me if I say no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Fishie - 08/03/2016 00:04 - Mexico - Cuajimalpa

Today, I was excited to meet a girl I had been chatting with in an event she was organizing. We clicked, talked and danced all night. I noticed she looked back several times towards a guy. "Something wrong?", "No, nothing". Added her on Facebook afterwards. He was her boyfriend of two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 07/03/2016 23:54 - United States - Chula Vista

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years, move in for 2, decided to consider an offer she was given to marry some random man for $20,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By fancybuttunicorn - 07/03/2016 23:52 - Canada - Port Coquitlam

Today, I introduced my bff to some other (male) friends of mine. She is now having dinner with one, having drinks with another and she is planning on sleeping with a different guy. Talk about playing the field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By mushman - 07/03/2016 23:41 - United States - Edison

Today as I was leaving work, I was walking out the main door and looked back to see if anyone was behind me so as to hold the door for them. Not looking in front I knocked over a toddler who was walking by with her dad. Before I could say sorry he knocked me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 868

You deserved it 4 209

Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 843

You deserved it 5 075

Today, my best friend and my ex-boyfriend went on a business trip, got drunk, and ended up sleeping together. Now they want to start dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 864

You deserved it 358

Today, I rushed home to tell my parents my girlfriend had accepted my proposal. They asked how I could be so selfish at a time like this. Apparently, Michael Jackson's death is more important than their son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 889

You deserved it 6 897

Today, my boyfriend cancelled our vacation plans because I'll be on my period, arguing that, "It wouldn't be a real holiday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 631

You deserved it 8 320

Today, my university fridge is so small that the cucumber I bought doesn’t fit either lengthwise or widthwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 83