Nearly FMLs

By MsTeacher - 08/03/2016 19:52 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I got on the bus and there were some awful kids. They called a man a f**king paki. When I called the non-emergency police line, they suggested I was a serial complainer about 'anti-social behaviour' because I called last month about my scary neighbours. Second time I ever called! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Cecilia - 08/03/2016 19:51 - Norway - Gj?vik

Today, I was really excited about finally seeing my horse after 8 days of not being able to see him. When I walked in to the stable, the first thing I saw, was my beautiful Icelandic horse staring an me, completely bald. He is supposed to be in a show next week. He looks like an alien. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Chikiriwak - 08/03/2016 19:47 - United States - Orlando

Today, a teacher at my job briefly played a romantic song to which a girl said to stop it because it nade her cry, I playfully replied "Seriously, it make grown girl like you cry"? She told me it reminded her of her mother who died two weeks ago, now I feel like the biggest jerk in the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 1

By Connor - 08/03/2016 19:46 - France

Today, my girlfriend's dad has his 'overprotective father' down routine perfect. He gave me the "upset her and I'll hurt you" speech, then pressed play on a DVD and calmly left the room so I could watch security footage of him wrestling a wild bear in the woods… and winning. Damn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 576

You deserved it 745

By Anonymous - 08/03/2016 19:40 - United States - Matawan

Today, my boss told me that it's okay for me to leave at the time I am supposed to leave, but because one of my colleagues doesn't like that, I have to stay in longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By RED - 08/03/2016 19:03 - United States - Elmont

Today, I found out what it smells like when you forget to bring in the chicken and steak from grocery shopping, a week and a half ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Rotten_Kids - 08/03/2016 19:01 - United States - Lincoln

Today, I finally got around to washing my car after leaving it a mess for months, then parked it on the street as I always do. Not two hours later, I came out to find it had been egged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Songhai - 08/03/2016 19:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was fired over the phone for an insulting Asian accent. I'm a 36 year old Japanese woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 08/03/2016 18:28 - United States - Miami

Today, my girlfriend sat up from our bed in the middle of the night and clocked me straight in the face so hard I became concussed, falling back to sleep right after. I have an important buisness meeting tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Failure - 08/03/2016 18:27 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I had an asthma attack while running track and passed out. When I came to, my coach told me to keep running. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By LikeReallyBruhh - 08/03/2016 18:25 - United Kingdom - Edgware

Today, my friends gave a lumpy looking chocolate. I found out it was actually my friend's dog poop. That taste is going to be in my mouth for the rest of the week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By He wanted an older woman... - 08/03/2016 18:17 - United States - Tucker

Today, My boyfriend broke up with me because he said he found someone else. I came home hoping for some comfort from my mom, but came hope instead, to my mom cuddled up with a familiar face. Turns out he dumped me for my mom.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ExFriendNow - 08/03/2016 18:11 - United States - Greenville

Today, my friend stole my phone and tagged all my overweight relatives and friends in a Facebook video about a 300 pound man losing weight. It was captioned "Here's some motivation, fatass'" I was able to delete the post once I realized what she did, but not until I got lots of angry messages. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By 0_0shortyy0_0 - 08/03/2016 18:07 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I observed my boyfriend let out a massive fart and abruptly wake himself up. He then turns to me and tells me shut up before turning around and promptly going back to sleep. He does this regularly then conveniently forgets by the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Why - 08/03/2016 17:53 - United States - Seattle

Today, I had a presentation. My advisor and I looked over it for days before. After making last edits, I sent him the final copy for backup. An hour before the presentation, I was told by him that almost everything was wrong. I was so rattled that I bombed the presentation. My data was good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By damnittohellandback - 08/03/2016 17:42 - United States

Today, I told my wife that I knew she wasn't in love with me but at least she liked and respected me. She was quite for a bit before saying, "You're wrong." I was about to tell her I loved her too when she finished with, "I don't like you either." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By cheeeksss - 08/03/2016 17:17 - United States - Honolulu

Today, my manager told me, "I can't promote you, and I can't really tell you why." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Tarlachia - 08/03/2016 16:20 - United States - Orlando

Today, while driving down the highway and windows open, a hatred-filled wasp flew unsuspected into my work van, then proceeded to sting me in the shoulder blade. After cursing and briefly swerving the van, I thought it was gone as I couldn't find it. 30 seconds later, the fucker stung my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By George_Demian_Gr - 08/03/2016 15:38 - Croatia

Today, due to my introverted nature, I couldn't stand being around people anymore. So I broke out of my college class. It's only the first week of my second semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By CursedTech - 08/03/2016 15:22 - Australia - Toowoomba

Today, a few months after my beloved tablet died, I bought a new one. I got home, tested it, put it on charge and went to watch TV. When I came back to check if it was done, I discovered that somehow, the screen had cracked. I now have a useless paperweight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By thanks mom - 08/03/2016 15:19 - United States - Cortland

Today, my mom told me that I was not having a party for my 18th birthday. Why? Because she said I didn't have friends anyway, so why should it matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Billiam - 08/03/2016 15:15 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I went to school early to ask my 1st block teacher questions about our next module(lesson). Only to walk in on her having sex with one of the other teachers, that's an image I will never unsee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By gusthecat - 08/03/2016 15:13 - United States - Denton

Today, the new car my mom bought me for my eighteenth birthday rolled into the street during a wind storm, and not only got totalled, but literally crushed. Guess who now has $35K debt and doesn't even have student loans yet?

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Uberdeathturtle - 08/03/2016 14:47 - United States - Silverthorne

Today, while on vacation with my college buddies, I woke up early to get them breakfast. After walking back in the 10 degree weather, I realised they locked me out of the condo and went to a ski resort. They will be gone for 10 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 08/03/2016 14:30 - Romania

Today, i went to get my usual hair trim. the hairdresser made a "mistake" that cost me 16 inches of hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By tabypatchkid - 08/03/2016 14:00 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I noticed my new face wash is working. My face is clear and looks great! My back is now coveres in pimples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By WellShit - 08/03/2016 13:51 - United States - Austin

Today, I met my first Trump supporter. It was my dad. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By stitches - 08/03/2016 13:02 - United States - Worcester

Today, my friends have made it their mission to make me laugh while I recover from abdomen surgery, despite knowing that laughing is incredibly painful for me right now. I've been awake for two hours and there are already over 140 memes in my inbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By dammit - 08/03/2016 12:12 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, after a few hours of being blocked up I decided to drink prune juice, 1.5L later i discover my body is highly sensitive to prune juice. It's gonna be a long night , fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By nickbreau - 08/03/2016 12:10 - United States - Bangor

Today, after signing the final paperwork for my brand new Mercedes dream car, I went to my office to show off my new car that all my coworkers knew I had been saving up for. My boss asked me to look at it closer, so we went outside to check it out and she laid me off. I have to bring the car back.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend for taking me for granted and being such a jerk. He didn't even show up for our date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 165

You deserved it 5 001

Today, after working a double shift, I got home to total pandemonium. My dogs had crapped all over the house, my kitchen was soaking wet, etc. My mother, who just moved in with me, was sitting on the couch, saying she had no idea what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 355

You deserved it 2 098

Today, the only person I know that ever traveled with me told me he doesn't enjoy the experience and thinks I'm an asshole, so I don't have a travel buddy any more. Every affordable trip requires two people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 1 142

Today, the girl I like at work surprised me in the otherwise empty break room. She caught me taking part in what might as well have been the Ball-Scratching Olympics. I didn't notice she was behind me until she cleared her throat to get my attention. Shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 463

You deserved it 13 169

Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 975

You deserved it 3 416

Today, I gave my wife of four years a special anniversary gift: a red rose dipped in liquid gold so that she would cherish and admire it forever. She told me it was too "Italian" looking. I now have a hundred dollar rose sitting in my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 268

You deserved it 6 389