Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 17/12/2018 01:31

Today, I started my period. Today is also the day I had hip surgery rendering me immobile for the next 2 weeks. I now have to lay on a puppy pad and have my bf clean me up every few hours. I'm a heavy bleeder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 16/12/2018 15:00 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I made the mistake of pissing off r/ChapoTrapHouse. They have harassed me off of reddit, Twitter, and YouTube. Their reach is so far that I garuntee there will be at least one comment on this saying "post your hog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 42

By Anonymous - 17/12/2018 00:14

Today I realized I have less than a month before my boyfriend moves back to California. This would be fine except we haven’t spent any time together in over a week due to our opposite sleeping schedules. He sleeps all day and I sleep at night, neither of us have had luck fixing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 16/12/2018 21:59

Today my sisters BF came over for the weekend, she went to have a nap when we went swimming, I wore a bikini since all my costumes where in the wash, when we went to swim, my sisters BF looked me dead in the eye and told me to dive in, I was confused but shruged and dove in. He got an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 10

By lifeless - 16/12/2018 23:30 - Saudi Arabia - Dammam

When people asked me about my day, I literally made up a story about meeting my “imaginary” cousin who came back from a trip to catch up just to hide the fact that I was sat home all day doing nothing simply because I’m single, jobless and have no friends

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 13

By wtf sis? - 16/12/2018 12:06 - United States - Hesperia

Today after years of oppression and abuse I was finally able to leave my mother’s cult like church with the help of my sister. I just got a text from my sister saying that she’s decided to “repent” and return to the church. I’m still excommunicated and cut off from the rest of my family. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 7

By "kian" - 16/12/2018 22:05 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Over the weekend the girl of my dreams came to stay with me on family farm. We had a great time. on the Saturday night we had sex and spoke for hours into the night. Talking about our feelings for each other and how maybe a relationship isn't the best idea. now the world seems all messed up.

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 7

By Justabloke - 16/12/2018 17:30

Today I got told by the girl I've been seeing for a couple of months that she wants to take a step back and just be friends... I was going to tell her I wanted more and was falling in love with her. She's also my co-worker! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 337

You deserved it 344

By Lycene - 16/12/2018 08:40

Today I spent hours and hours making christmas gifts with my grandson for his teachers and family (i'm broke) . I have an autoimmune disease so this exhausted me. I realized at 1:am that I forgot my ex husband and his fiancee who pay for school and lessons, so now i'm up at 3am, FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 2

By A joke - 16/12/2018 00:20 - United States - Fort Sill

Today my husband said he doesnt want to be in the same room as me alone , unless our daughters with us. I followed him to another state because he was relocated(army )and we all had to move. I left my entire world,family, job, friends ,for a man who doesn’t even want to be in the same room as me .. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 2

By fuck his feelings! - 16/12/2018 07:11

Today I was guilt tripped and told what a terrible wife I am for not bailing my husband out of jail so he can be home for Christmas. The same husband that flew into a drunken rage and threw me down the stairs last week. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 2

By Meows_Make_Music - 16/12/2018 06:07

Today, (yesterday) I sat on these wobbly stools my teacher had put, I bent over to grab pencil, And the stool's legs fell off. Everybody started laughing, what made it funnier that it was ME who broke it? I'm Overweight, and they think that's why it broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 16/12/2018 03:29

last night my wife and I were having sex when we noticed lots of blood, we figured she got her period so we stopped, washed up and cleaned the sheets wasn't until this morning when I noticed blood in my urine that I realized I ripped the skin connecting the foreskin to the head of my penis...FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 5

By dgtkv - 16/12/2018 01:23

Today, I sucked this kids dick and he made me choke on it so bad I puked all over the place.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 59

By unknown - 15/12/2018 17:10 - Canada - Sault Sainte Marie

Today while I was play Osu! my speaker died and cut out the song. The worst part is that i was in the middle of Mane Mane Psychotropic on scv's insane and I didn't know what happened so I checked my cable and lost my S. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 19

By "darkenedone" - 15/12/2018 16:39 - Canada

Today, I tried to amuse myself by reading some FMLs, and everytime I pressed YDI or agree, I was forced to watch an ad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 11

By Canteven - 15/12/2018 21:21

Today, the guy I’m seeing walked into the bathroom just as I was about to change my tampon. I caught such a fright I stood up and my tampon fell out and dropped onto the floor. We both starred at it and then at each other. 20 mins later in the room he told me there was blood on my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 1

By Noonebutkillmenow - 15/12/2018 14:56

Today my life got fucked. Again. 8 in the morning other members of the houes blast any kind of music they can. As loud as possible. Effectively shaking picture frames and glass objects off the walls/surfaces. Not only that im sleeo deprived and saterdays are the only days i can sleep in. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 2

By Justin - 15/12/2018 12:39

Today my recent ex who I spent six years with asked me to take care of her kid if she ends up in prison for the third DUI that she just got because I'm all that he's known as a father. I lost my job last week and planned on taking this opportunity to move out of state to pursue a new career. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 2

By Syd - 15/12/2018 07:16

Today I was sexting a guy. His mother saw the text messages and now knows I’m a kinky bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 32

By Fhamt - 14/12/2018 22:48 - United States - Denver

Today, my boyfriend threw up on me as we were getting intimate. Also Today, I discovered I apparently have a humiliation fetishized, as it caused me to cum harder than ever before. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 31

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 15/12/2018 01:24

It has been eight days since my 11-year-old cat passed away. My family has been trying to convince me to get a new one ever sense.

I agree, your life sucks 34

You deserved it 7

By "cutiepie" - 14/12/2018 09:37 - United States

Today my Uncle passed away 6 months after my Grandmother did. Same part of my family. fml

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 4

By Oneminutemonkey - 12/12/2018 13:30

Today, I reported to my part-time job for a shift in what we call the dungeon because it’s cold and drafty. Meanwhile, just down the hallway, the full-timers had a party with food, music, and prizes. Someone even won a bicycle. We got to listen to the merriment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 102

By "RaisinCake" - 11/12/2018 09:33 - United States - Orem

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sexy time on my bed when things led to where I was about to lose my virginity, but I got nervous and then slightly soft and couldn't get it in. At least I know I have magic fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 9

By Fangirl101 - 11/12/2018 16:19 - United Kingdom

Today I was having my birthday party when my best friend kissed the boy I've liked for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 5

By "littl3storm" - 11/12/2018 14:04

Today, whilst buckling up for my 7 hour flight to NYC, I got a text from my boyfriend saying he crashed his mum's car. Before I could reply we were told to put our phones on airplane mode. I'm gone for a week with no mode or means of contact... FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 2

By Failing_For_Nothing - 11/12/2018 20:01 - Australia - Coorparoo

Today I got my results back for an assignment I worked my ass off and submitted on the 21/11/18. Today I was told I failed that assignment due to collusion with another classmate who didn’t submit theirs till 31/11/18. Apparently discussing answers and sharing a reference list is collusion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 13

By Just me - 11/12/2018 07:29

Today I proposed to my girlfriend in a romantic place....we then went shopping and all I could see was my ex-girlfriends name on everything....now I'm having doubts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25

You deserved it 39

By The q monkey - 11/12/2018 07:30 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, as everyday i miss the buss to work by one minute. Today i decided to come 15 minutes early so i wont miss it. I could see the buss coming 16 mInutes early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 3

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The Top

Today, the "man cold" has infected my brother. He honestly thinks he's dying. He only has the sniffles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 152

You deserved it 3 653

Today, I went to a local bar for a speed dating event. The first person I hooked up with took one look at my face, burst into laughter, and walked out of the bar practically doubling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 560

You deserved it 3 655

Today, my boss put me on suspension for violating company policy by having non-work related mail in my inbox. They were spam emails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 067

You deserved it 2 269

Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 809

You deserved it 2 738

Today, I had to spend two hours in the car with my mother. That doesn't sound so bad until you realize she's the kind of person who can, and did, spend nearly half an hour ranting about how the Big Beautiful Woman porn niche is the root of obesity in America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 015

You deserved it 1 029

Today, my boss sent me home from work because she saw me not checking under my customer's cart to see if they had any hidden groceries. I didn't check because the customer threatened to "kick my ass" if I "accused him of stealing" by checking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 347

You deserved it 8 492