Nearly FMLs

By fatandpregnant - 12/03/2016 01:10

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because "I'm fat and it's not healthy." I'm 6 months pregnant with his baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Kinda like adam - 12/03/2016 00:56 - United States - Macon

Today I brought home a twenty thousand dollar check after a month of 12 hour days with no pay, hardly seen the kids, recently opened my own business, finally pays off...and my wife says "there are professionals that would have done that for the same price" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By coincidencemyass - 12/03/2016 00:54 - United States

Today, my car came back from the repair shop. Before I even got home the check engine light came on and it started sputtering. The repair place said it wasn't their fault and called it a "bad luck coincidence". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 12/03/2016 00:49 - United States - Cary

Today my girlfriend of two and a half years decided to put our relationship on hold, neither together nor broken up, so she can see if she can be happy by herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Daddy Issues - 12/03/2016 00:47 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, My boyfriend decided to cut me off financially, packed my belongings and keyed my car because I disrespected him in front of his family by not calling him "Daddy" in front them.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 12/03/2016 00:33 - United States - Junction City

Today, my sister still won't agree to let me wear a suit to her wedding. I must wear a dress so no one will ask her what my "deal" is at her wedding. I'm gender queer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By whatever - 11/03/2016 23:40 - United States - Stockton

Today, my crush said that only ugly people have nose rings. I have a nose ring. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By oopsididitagain - 11/03/2016 23:30 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, my wind is so offensive I've had to sleep on the couch. I only hope the stench has dispersed before my partner wakes up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By loldying - 11/03/2016 23:29

Today, I am 17, and was diagnosed with leukemia. I am staying very hopeful and positive, but decided to start working on my bucket list just in case. The first thing on it was to try a meat, which my vegetarian mother never let me have. I was allergic. I am in the hospital for a second time today.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Honour - 11/03/2016 23:13 - Anonymous Proxy

Today, it was my granny's funeral. While we were all crying our eyes out my grandad turned up late with his new younger girlfriend and told the vicar he'd pay extra to just bury the "old bitch" as quickly as possible because they were gonna be late for their flight to Ibiza FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By potatocharmander - 11/03/2016 23:08

Today, when I told my ex-friend "I am better than you at baseball." He replied with "At least I have a mom that cares." My mom is dead and he knows that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By NotADriver - 11/03/2016 22:58 - Poland - Polska

Today I had a driving test, and the examiner was a total tool. I failed twice before, so I was prepared I might not pass. What I wasn't prepared for was him mocking my speech. Unfortunately he already told me I failed, and so filing a complaint wouldn't matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Fatassyeah I know - 11/03/2016 22:27 - United States - Independence

Today, My girlfriend broke up with me after 2 years. Why? Because I have a bigger butt then her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Perry85 - 11/03/2016 22:14 - United States - Midland

Today, I had CPS called on me due to a "Lice infestation the likes of never been seen before" I checked all 4 kids. Found ONE bug total. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By lmaofuck - 11/03/2016 21:45 - United States - Westerville

Today, I got chased by my neighbor's monstrous, vicious dog. While I was running, I fell and broke my arm. I have no insurance, and the neighbor blamed me for getting the dog "riled up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By deeznutsthrowaway - 11/03/2016 21:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today I was browsing one of those prank websites on the internet and decided to anonymously "ship deez nuts" to my boss. However during checkout I accidentally put in my work email instead of my private. HR said they'd like to have a word and my boss wanted me in his office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 2

By Slicknick - 11/03/2016 21:39 - United Kingdom

Today, my father shouted at me for constantly being so competitive, saying how he couldn't understand where I got it from. Not 20 minutes later, he accidentally knocked me down the stairs as he raced to be the first one in the car.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By DisturbedDreamer - 11/03/2016 21:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had a dream of a sexual nature of two people I have never wanted to even contemplate having that kind of relationship. Who you may ask? Jesse and Joey from Full House. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 11/03/2016 21:09 - United States

Today, I experienced sleep paralysis for the first time in my life. Causing me to feel something crawl up on my bed lay down next to me and whisper in my ear "just coming in to say goodnight." I got so freaked out when I was able to move again I went downstairs and slept in my parents room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By johnnycena - 11/03/2016 21:04 - United States - Waupaca

Today, I got called to the office. I was being punished for going into the boys bathroom. The school has it on record I am a girl. I'm a 17 year old male. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Callmesam230 - 11/03/2016 20:45 - United States - Baltimore

Today,I got test results back from blood work I had done a few weeks ago for a heart issue. My calcium levels were high and I have to go back in a month to get more blood work done. I don't eat or drink anything with calcium and I have a needle phobia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Jmdezy - 11/03/2016 20:39 - United States

Today, a really cute girl I've been flirting with for the longest time texting me explaining how much she loved me and wanted to be with me. I responded by saying I felt the same. She then replied "Sorry, wrong person. You really think I'd like you? Lol, cute."

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By car trouble - 11/03/2016 20:27 - United States - Toledo

Today, I had to take my car back to the mechanics. Apparently, after spend $440 on a new water pump and timing belt the problem still isn't fixed. none of this was a problem until after I got my oil changed at Walmart and both mechanics I went to told me this was the problem FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By red powder - 11/03/2016 20:17 - United States - Sonoma

Today, my boyfriend told me he was buying dinner before our movie date. He's idea of a dinner was buying bagels and cream cheese and bag of Hot Cheetos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By RavhiKaria - 11/03/2016 20:14 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my 18th birthday and my family took me to a steakhouse. I'm vegan. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By AnimeGirlApparently - 11/03/2016 19:11 - United States - Portland

Today, my boyfriend quickly lifted my skirt while we were out in public. He darted off laughing before I could get to him and yelled out, "Happy Fan Service Friday!", getting laughs from people nearby. So this is going to be a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 1

By at least it's only 3 miles - 11/03/2016 19:11 - United States - Concord

Today, I had my eyes dilated for my yearly eye exam. They offered me a dark film that slips behind my glasses, but it was pretty overcast and dark outside, so I declined it. As soon as I unlocked my car to drive home, the sun came out in full force. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By FailoutBoy - 11/03/2016 19:11 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I was walking around my house when I noticed something shiny on the floor. I thought it was just water, but nope. It was glass. 7 stitches later, and a cut down to he muscle, it hurts to walk on my left foot, and I will forever have a scar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By esean_keni - 11/03/2016 19:10 - India - Caranzalem

Today, was my birthday. My girlfriend called me at midnight. Thinking that she wants to wish me I picked up my phone. No sooner did I pick up the phone she says we need to break up. She didn't even remember its by birthday. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By KyloRen - 11/03/2016 19:08

Today, I dropped a new 50 lb box of tiles. Luckily, none of the tiles broke. I'm assuming this is because my foot broke the fall. Unfortunately, the fall broke my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I complained to the train company online. I filled in information and added several photos as evidence. I only realised later that the photos I attached were nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 230

You deserved it 65 337

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 591

You deserved it 5 585

Today, my wife wasn't feeling well. She called her doctor, who isn't seeing patients due to COVID. Had to take her to the ER. After numerous tests, they told her that her potassium levels were low. Diagnosis: eat a banana. When we get the bill(s) from the hospital, this will be the most expensive banana ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 002

You deserved it 295

Today, I discovered my first wrinkle at the same time as my millionth zit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 176

Today, I was in a supermarket using the self-checkout. I tried to scan a loaf of bread, but it wouldn't register. After several attempts and increasing frustration, I slammed the loaf down on the scanner. The bread tore open, and seeds flew everywhere. An old woman behind me said, "Technology can be hard for the young, too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 586

Today, I was excited to finally use the expensive bath bombs I'd been saving. I filled the tub, dropped one in, and settled in for a relaxing soak. The bath bomb fizzed so much that it created a bubble mountain that spilled over, flooding my bathroom with colorful suds. My "relaxing" bath turned into a Slip 'N Slide adventure as I tried to mop up the mess in my birthday suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 190