Nearly FMLs

By STEALTHHUNTER88 - 14/03/2016 03:43 - United States - Broken Arrow

Today, and less than 24 hours after having told me she was "too busy for a relationship", she flaunts pictures of her ex all over Instagram. They're back together now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/03/2016 03:42 - United States - Flower Mound

Today, I went to Walmart and when I got out of the car, I tried fixing my hair for a good 5 minutes by looking in the reflection of the car next to me, not realizing there was someone in there until they rolled down the window and said "If you don't stop staring at me, I'm calling the cops"-FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By catswithtats - 14/03/2016 03:31 - United States

Today, I finally told the love of my life I loved her. She laughed and said "you're weird!" FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 14/03/2016 03:27 - United States - Altadena

So for my boyfriend's 24th birthday I took him out to a exteremly fancy steakhouse, dinner was amazing, and we had passionate sex all night long. The next morning he confesses that he wants to breakup, well there goes 7 years of my life and a $215.00 dinner into the shitter FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By busybee - 14/03/2016 03:16

Today, I returned home from a week long vacation to a daughter vomiting in the ER, she had also contracted lice, and may have dyslexia. So much for being relaxed...FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By doubledee8 - 14/03/2016 03:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, Like everyday for the past two years, I woke up with a crippling migraine. I can't function without taking Tylenol or Advil and have suffered in school because of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By arachnifailure - 14/03/2016 03:10 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, when I got home after a long day at work, I exerted an enormous amount of effort trying to get a moth to get eaten by an enormous spider in the kitchen windowsill. Then I realized I hadn't eaten anything all day. I'm more concerned about this spider's health than my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By crazybunnymama - 14/03/2016 03:01 - United States - Fairborn

Today, after spending my entire car savings fund on my rabbit since he was very sick, I thought we were good. But he stops eating again once he was home. We get back to the vet, and he starts chowing down on the hay they fed him. Fatass liked their hay better than what we had at home. Bye $300. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By heartbroken - 14/03/2016 02:56 - United States - Birmingham

Today, my boyfriend ended things while I'm out of town...I come home tomorrow. All of his friends are mine and they are taking his side.... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By thefaekitten - 14/03/2016 02:40 - United States - Akron

Today, while trying to calm down my friend before doing a presentation in class, I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ehhh - 14/03/2016 02:23 - United States - Mascoutah

Today, my roommate told me about a guy she went out with the other day, after describing him, I realized she was talking about my boyfriend of two years.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By fine_I_guess - 14/03/2016 02:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, the best thing to happen to me for the whole week was taking a shit so intense that it straightened out the kinks in my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By elisadineroo - 14/03/2016 02:06 - United States - Valley Stream

Today, I had sex with this guy from my school. I didn't notice he left the condom rapper on my bed until I received about 30+ messages from my mum when she saw it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 3

By ouch - 14/03/2016 01:52 - United States - Abington

Today, my friend decided to teach me how to play lacrosse. After giving me instructions and demonstration for 20 minutes, he passed the ball to me for the first time. However, he whipped it hard, and I missed the ball, and it broke my nose. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By originalunicorn - 14/03/2016 01:30 - United States - Evansville

Today, my best friend moved 9+ hours away. I have basically lived with her for the past 2 1/2 years. To top it off I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder last month & I don't have anyone else that I trust or talk to on a regular basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/03/2016 01:23 - United States - Graham

Today, my friend called me ignorant and stupid for "saying Mexican instead of Spanish". I was talking about a Mexican restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Tycollie - 14/03/2016 01:17 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my girlfriend called and asked if she could come over. She sounded upset so I went out a bought her flowers, chocolate and a bear. Turns out she just wanted to break up with me and she was upset because she was made to do it in person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By erikseip - 14/03/2016 01:16 - United States - Twinsburg

Today, I found out that my long-distance girlfriend of 2 years (she moved across the country 5 months ago) got married last week. This comes as a total shock considering we had phone sex last night....FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/03/2016 00:50 - United States - Dayton

Today, my dad has had an alcohol addiction for years and still can't get himself to get over it. He proceeded to pull my hair while my stepmom pulled my shirt when I took his wine bottle away from him. I fought back and now, I'm the one who needs therapy and anger management. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Chorus Teacher - 14/03/2016 00:40 - United States - Clover

Today, I let my middle schoolchorus classes audition for honors choir with any song they wanted. About 1/4 of them auditioned with songs about sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By brokendrums - 14/03/2016 00:27 - United States - Cumberland

Today, my boyfriend thought It would be 'funny' to show my nudes to his friends. they weren't even mine, now I'm single and was about to tell him I'm 3 month in carrying his child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By brokecollegestudent - 14/03/2016 00:18 - United States - Lynnwood

Today I finally got my bill from going to the ER on Valentine's Day. Getting correctly diagnosed after the visit by my mom cost me $0. Spending 5 hours in the hospital only to hear "I don't know what's wrong with you... If the pain returns, come back to the hospital" from the doc cost me $1400. FML!

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By candycutter - 14/03/2016 00:08 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I wanted to do something that would keep my mind off of being sad. So, I made candy and ended up cutting myself with it as I took it out of the mold. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/03/2016 00:05 - United States - West New York

Today, two years and hundreds of dollars later, my daughter confessed that she faked her depression to be "emo." This is the same girl who faked a pregnancy for an entire month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By StillLoveYa - 13/03/2016 23:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in bed cuddling with my girlfriend. After a while she fell asleep, I didn't want to wake her but I had a very itchy foot. I ended up having to use her leg stubble to itch my toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By FML - 13/03/2016 23:45 - United States - Altadena

Today, I rearranged all my furniture to make it feel more roomy. I walk around my house barefoot. I have stubbed my little toe so many times since I rearranged it that it is purple and double the size. I am too scared to walk around my own house because I don't want to stub my toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Rock Strongo - 13/03/2016 23:39 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I had a date with my best friend and crush after she asked me out. She discussed hooking up with her co worker and spent some time on a dating site during it. She said she wanted to go on more dates with me, then changed her mind saying that dating and all romantic stuff makes her uneasy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By buddy rough - 13/03/2016 23:32 - United States - Thomson

Today, I finally opened up to my girlfriend about how sensitive about my weight and how I wanted to lose some pounds. On our way shopping we passed by a sign saying "weight limit 1 Ton". She instantly looked at me and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 23:29 - Canada - Creston

Today, while driving home after a long day I narrowly missed the biggest elk I've even seen. Feeling relieved I continued on my way home. Only to have my vehicle die 100 feet down the road. Fml

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 23:29 - United States - Lindenhurst

Today, thanks to a new show called "Gaycation", my mom believes that the manga I read is gay male porn. FML

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You deserved it 0

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my 10-month-old kept me up all night after a gruelling day. I finally fell asleep with her at about 2 a.m., and I woke up half an hour later to her hands on my throat, and her biting my nose. Startled, I took a big breath through my nose and snorted an ungodly amount of slobber. I’m awake now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 583

You deserved it 268

Today, my physio told me that due to my illness, roller-skating is too ambitious an activity. I grieve who I used to be, and the life I used to be able to live… FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 77

Today, I let my 5 year-old niece walk my 3 month-old husky puppy while I watched. I didn't realize how strong my puppy actually is until she took off running while dragging my niece with her. My niece now has two busted up knees and chin and her mother is now calling my puppy "demon puppy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 268

You deserved it 26 814

Today, I told my dad that I have a very serious drinking problem and that I need to go to rehab because I can't stop on my own. He told me that I just need to make new friends and suggested I join a sorority. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 515

You deserved it 6 524

Today, I was riding the subway when a beautiful topless girl walked into my car and sat directly in front of me. Then, the train stopped abruptly and I banged my head. The girl was gone and I realized it had all been a dream. Then I realized I was supposed to get off 17 stops ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 045

You deserved it 42 486

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 582

You deserved it 81 777