Nearly FMLs

By katedaisy - 14/03/2016 15:32 - Canada - Spruce Grove

Today, I was at the mall and ran into my ex boyfriend. He was yelling my name loudly and crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By needs2chill - 14/03/2016 15:17 - United States - Beaverton

Today, I had a full blown panic attack because someone stole my car! I called 9-1-1 hysterically crying and explained what happened and when I saw it last, only then to remember that I left it at work... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/03/2016 15:16 - United States - Hackettstown

I work at restaurant/ bar and yesterday was the St. Patricks day parade were hundreds of locals come in and get drunk late into the night. One of the customers "loved" my service, so when he left he decided to squeeze my nipples and kiss me on the lips infront of my boss and coworkers. I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Unlucky - 14/03/2016 14:52 - Canada - Wolfville

Today, is the day that my school trip that I have spent over two years saving money for to Europe starts. Today is also the day that I somehow got chickenpox and was told that I not only had to stay home, but the expenses are non refundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By nosoivy - 14/03/2016 14:44 - United States - Middletown

Today, I owe $50,00 in student loans for my bachelor of science from the ivy league university of my dreams. I can't even get a job as a bank teller. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/03/2016 14:42 - United States - Glendale

Today, I was proud of myself for the amazing salad I prepared and enjoyed for dinner, a huge victory for healthy eating since I don't really like vegetables. Apparently they don't like me either. All that fiber has had me on the toilet for 5 hours purging the contents of my colon. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By OhCrap - 14/03/2016 14:20 - United Kingdom - Peterborough

Today, my neighbour's cat climbed in through my window and slept on my bed for two hours. I'm allergic. I went to next door's to get it out and they told me it was my fault, because "well, I didn't tell it to, did I?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Kill me pls - 14/03/2016 14:15 - Portugal

Today, I finally managed to save enough money to buy my first own house, therefore conquering my independence. Or so I thought, because as soon as my mom heard of it, she broke up with my father and now plans on living with me, she and my two brothers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By The_ghetto_mango - 14/03/2016 14:03 - United States - Peculiar

Today, my shitty friend showed up after two years of not going to any parties of mine or communicating with me. My cat decided it would be the perfect time to jump into her arms and purr happily, when it hates me to no end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ugh - 14/03/2016 13:53 - United States - Decatur

Today, I heard back from a job that I really wanted. there was one other person applying and it was pretty tense to see who would get the job. she got it. because her name is easier to pronounce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By SamMu - 14/03/2016 13:14 - United States - Frederick

Today, in a depressed fit I told my girlfriend that she'd be better off without me and that she should leave me. She did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By caseanator - 14/03/2016 12:40 - United States - Rutland

Today, I had to listen to my friend and his sister have a shouting match on the way to school. They've done this almost everyday since school started in September. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By luckygirl2015 - 14/03/2016 12:23 - Croatia

Today, we had the day off from school but could go if we wanted to see a recital. Since my friend was in it i got up at 6 AM and went. Two actors are sick and the show is canceled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By I hate Monday's - 14/03/2016 11:58 - United States - Adrian

Today, I woke up and walked a mile to school in dark, thick fog and misting rain to find out it was delayed. I wasn't able to call my parents and had to walk all the way back. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Aerobic_Exorcism - 14/03/2016 11:52 - United States - Orlando

Today, I found my long-lost realistic toy roach in my pocket. It wasn't fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/03/2016 11:08 - United States - Ossining

Today, for the fifth time in a row I misses my bus. After the driver looked me in the eye from 10 feet away, and slammed on the gas. I live half an hour from where I work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By FMLforreal - 14/03/2016 11:00 - United States - Calabasas

Today, I had a midterm that I had studied hours for. I was doing pretty well until the laxatives I had taken the previous night decided to hit me with a #3. I had to hold it in for an hour and a half and was sure I was going to shit my pants. Let's just say I don't think I aced this one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By AnimatedJ - 14/03/2016 10:45 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was out in public, and someone waved at me, on instinct I waved back. Only to realize it was my ex, and she was waving at her new boyfriend.... who was behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/03/2016 10:44 - Australia

Today, I had to make a trip to the ED because my seven year old child shoved beads as far as they would go up her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Yes We Are Both Girls - 14/03/2016 10:35 - Australia - Newcastle

Today, I realised that the girl I've been madly in love with for 8 years, and is in a committed relationship with me, doesn't care for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By AnimatedJ - 14/03/2016 10:34 - United States - Arlington

Today, I had to give myself a pep talk because I was drained of energy when I woke saying this is gonna be my day, nothing can stop me. Only to getting up and falling flat on my face. My legs were still asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 14/03/2016 10:04 - Australia

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my housemate having an orgy in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Grossed out Mama - 14/03/2016 10:01 - United States - Vancouver

Today, I spent over an hour combing for nits and lice in my daughter's hair that the doctor said didn't exist. In the first ten minutes I found more than five. The worst part, my daughter has long blond hair. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By xYour_Momx - 14/03/2016 09:55 - United States - Church Point

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He was a little upset, which is understandable. What turned it from understandable to psychotic is when he tried stabbing my stomach with his pocket knife while yelling "SATAN!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By ObviousBooty - 14/03/2016 09:31 - United States - Kankakee

Today during an interview something smelled awful. Even my interviewer noticed. Get home from the interview to find I have dog shit on my shoe. Then I found where it got tracked everywhere earlier. Not only that, but the interview was for a job at a high end restaurant... who now thinks I stink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By c0nor_jm - 14/03/2016 09:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I had my final exam for saxophone. I had spent at least 8 months preparing my pieces, costing about £500 in lessons. The exam went well, and the examiner liked me. Until, at the end, I tripped and threw my water all over him. I was 3 marks off a destination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By whyme? - 14/03/2016 08:26 - United States - Santa Fe

Today, I had lunch with my mother. She proceeded to tell me she refuses to go to my wedding because my fiancé and I don't want a religous one. She claimed that if she went, she would be denying God. She also decided to tell me that if it's not religous, I shouldn't be having a wedding anyways. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By awkwardsilence - 14/03/2016 07:13 - United States - Davis

Today, I had to sit through half an hour of awkwardness as my friend and ex texted each other and laughed at each other's responses while all of us sat in the same room within a foot of each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By naughty boy good girl ? - 14/03/2016 07:03 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my girlfriend was asking me sexual questions and one was if I watched porn, the answer was an automatic yes. I then asked her if she did she said no and gave me shit about it saying how it's nasty. When I went to visit her later she was masturbating to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By wilhelmthegreat - 14/03/2016 06:57 - United States - Petaluma

Today, my friend and I went to the movie theatre. We bought a bag of popcorn to share, and when we sat down, we started to eat it. For some insane reason, it was searing hot, and the employees refused to own up to it. When I got home, my mouth was too blistered to explain what had happened. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I woke up with a big and very painful pimple on the inside of my butt cheek. Because of my Crohn's disease decided to flare up at the same time, my 3 trips to the bathroom at work were only tolerable because I didn't have to deal with rude customers yelling at me for situations I have no control over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 81

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 931

You deserved it 2 887

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why I'd be angry if he had a foursome with 3 other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 721

You deserved it 5 658

Today, I was talking to a co-worker about birth control. Ten minutes later, I went to my sent e-mails to copy and reuse an old e-mail and realized I had sent "I tried calling you but your birth control is not working" to a student. It was supposed to say "voicemail". FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 352

You deserved it 24 318

Today, at my sister's wedding, she and I had a plan that she would purposely throw the bouquet to my girlfriend, then I would propose in front of everyone. When the bouquet landed in my girlfriend's lap, she screamed, "Ew, no way" and threw it to someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 335

You deserved it 3 715

Today, I'm fostering a very shy cat who doesn't like to be held. I had to move the litter box to another room, but when I picked him up to show him where I'd moved it to, he peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 425

You deserved it 1 751