Nearly FMLs

By Puff301 - 20/03/2016 20:28 - Australia - Epping

Today, my mother called me a useless no good b*tch, all because I forgot to pack socks for school until the last minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By What? - 20/03/2016 20:26 - United States

Today, a girl I don't know served me a restraining order. I now can't go back to school til my hearing...on April 12th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 20/03/2016 20:25 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I agreed to my first ever threesome with my boyfriend and a girl we both knew. The threesome ended up with my boyfriend storming out after myself and the other girl forgot he was even there. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 2

By Tooyoungforthisshiz - 20/03/2016 20:20 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I found out I am 7 weeks pregnant with twins. My only problem is, I am 15 and my lover is 13. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 3

By __Kaia__ - 20/03/2016 20:20 - United States - Dayton

Today, I lived every kids' fantasy and rode the luggage carousel at the airport. Some shitlicker pushed me so hard from behind that I lost my balance and fell. Airport security didn't see him push me and threatened to have me arrested for my little "joyride." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By RabbitOfAurora - 20/03/2016 20:02 - Australia - Springvale South

Today, I woke up yet again at 5am from a dream about finding a secret bathroom with a luxurious bathtub. Since having been forced several months ago to move into a house without one, these dreams happen frequently. This time I cried. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 20/03/2016 20:02 - United Kingdom - Walsall

Today, after waiting from Wednesday for a phone call, telling me if I got the job and being told I would be told 'Sunday at the latest' I have not received a single phone call. I can't even get a job at McDonalds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By gingerlover01 - 20/03/2016 19:49 - United States

Today, marks the 7th day since I asked out a good friend of mine and she replied "I'll get back to you on that", guess who won't answer their phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 2

By 1-- - 20/03/2016 19:46 - Bangladesh - Dhaka

Today, my brother refused to give me a single cigarette from his pack because he had bought them. So I went and bought my own. And what did he do? Take them cause "smoking is bad for you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By SexySnapchatter - 20/03/2016 19:29 - United States - West Covina

Today, I learned that if you want to take sexy pics for your boyfriend, use your phone camera, not snapchat, even if the filters look better... Accidentally had my nudes on my story for 6 hrs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 4

By Rawr084 - 20/03/2016 19:20 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I got a new iPhone 6 and on my way home from the Apple Store I ran a red light by accident. (I was looking down shifting gears) and got hit. Now in debt a thousand dollars for the phone and a thousand for my car. Plus whatever the damages are to the other car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 2

By JooJoo2004 - 20/03/2016 19:08 - United States

Today, my mum wanted to take a picture of me and my siblings. I have a really awkward smile, so I did my best. She took it as 'attitude ', and decided to ground me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Dangel6677 - 20/03/2016 19:08 - United States

Today, My boyfriend woke me up out of a dead sleep, just to tell me he couldn't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By lost1997 - 20/03/2016 18:57 - United States - Richmond

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in his car at abandoned business parking lot. All of a sudden a car pulls up behind us. It was the police. Apparently they don't appreciate public indecency. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 3

By PL0WW - 20/03/2016 18:57

Today, while on holiday in France, our car got towed, despite having a valid ticket. When we were finally able to pay to get the car back, we found out that they broke one of the wheels and it's no longer drivable. Over £1500 later, we're in an airport, hoping our car makes it home after us... FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Brendan - 20/03/2016 18:54 - United States - Spring

Today, I had to console my wife this morning as our dog killed a baby bunny in our backyard. I then had to call her several hours later to inform her that not only did our dog do it again, this time she managed to eat the entire baby rabbit. Whole.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By whatthefuck - 20/03/2016 18:45 - United States - Cleveland

Today, an Indian man called into my workplace to talk to my boss and complain about me being racist. All because I did not say hello to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 20/03/2016 18:44 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I went to the dermatologist for the first time. She had the worst acne I've ever seen in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By WTF am I even doing anymore - 20/03/2016 18:39 - New Zealand - Whangarei

Today, I realised that my procrastination has gone to all new levels when I stayed up until 4am playing fast food restaurant games online instead of studying for my math internal tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By notatBKanymore - 20/03/2016 18:29 - United States - Boaz

Today, I was leaving my girlfriend's house later than expected to go to work. Worried that I'd be late my third day on the job, I was in a hurry. I managed to get into a wreck, total the car, and be late for work after I got out of the hospital with a concussion. They still fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 3

By someone - 20/03/2016 18:23 - United States

Today, I woke up to about 20 pieces of paper on my door saying "Fat Boy". I guess my siblings are trying to send me a message. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By should have held it - 20/03/2016 17:59 - United States - Brownsburg

Today, I was in a bathroom, which was swamped with tons of people. After my turn came, I got a stall and locked the door. My lock was crap. Utter crap. I didn't realize that, though. I was so tired, I didn't even notice that the door crept open until I heard children laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By kiradessia - 20/03/2016 17:56 - United States - Edmond

Today, it's my birthday and my family took me to their favorite restaurant, an expensive steakhouse. I've been a vegetarian for over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By GeriatricNotSenile - 20/03/2016 17:52 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I learned my grandson tells everyone I have dementia to explain his compulsive labeling of everything in our house. Apparently, I otherwise don't know what is the "table" or "sink" or "refrigerator". This puts his friends' behavior towards me in a new light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 004

You deserved it 573

By Anonymous - 20/03/2016 17:42 - United States - Reno

Today, I saw my mother drop a sausage on the floor, rinse it off and try to feed it to my dad. Apparently, she does this with meat all the time, because its cooked and therefor can't get germs. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Bawsack - 20/03/2016 17:32

Today, my line manager left me at work with a service user so he could run some personal errands. His boss came in and fired me on the spot because I'm not allowed to be there by myself and 'should have stopped him'. I tried that but he left anyway. I got fired for following instructions. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By fartastic - 20/03/2016 17:19 - United States - North Fort Myers

Today, while having sex with my fiancé as soon as he started to climax I heard him say "oh sh*t" then a ginormous fart. Too bad it wasn't just a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Hamez - 20/03/2016 17:17 - Italy - Rome

Today, my family was on a packed train trying to get to our hotel. Once we got off, we realized someone had undone a zipper and lifted off a Velcro strap and stole €200. We didn't notice until we got off the train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By cjbetz - 20/03/2016 16:33 - United States - Sewickley

My wife and I,after many years, finally found our dream home. After completely moving all of our stuff in my boss informed me the business was shutting down come Monday morning. I am now jobless and soon too be homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By disgusting - 20/03/2016 16:21 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I found out how disgusting it is to accidentally mix salt with lemonade instead of sugar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my fiancé broke up with me, because he was mad I was worried about him due to him not answering me for ten hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 288

Today, I got a letter from the Navy saying that they accepted my application to join the Navy. I never applied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 494

You deserved it 2 555

Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 635

You deserved it 4 893

Today, to help with my insomnia, I downloaded some relaxing rain MP3s and set them to loop. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep within minutes. Somewhere around 5, however, the sound of trickling water caused my bladder to empty itself all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 604

You deserved it 6 787

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 632

You deserved it 3 514

Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 341

You deserved it 4 830