Nearly FMLs

By sheneverdoesthis - 25/03/2016 22:49 - United Kingdom - Newport

Today, my 2 year old daughter started singing at the top of her voice as soon as we entered Mass on Good Friday, it was a minute of silence. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 25/03/2016 22:39 - United States - Austin

Today, my supervisor's boss delegated to me his very important, yet very unclear task that said simply "click here for details and instructions" in the description. This wouldn't have been a problem if my only access to this particular task wasn't through the piece of paper that she handed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By jesusofsuburbiax - 25/03/2016 22:27 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I lived too far away. Later, I found out that he was dating a girl in Ireland. I live a mile away from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 25/03/2016 22:15 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, I was sitting outside a resturant eating pizza with a couple of my friends, it was all going great till some guy on rollerblades smoothly skated by and snatche up our pizza. The worst bit, I'd only had one slice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By WeJustWentHome - 25/03/2016 21:58 - Trinidad and Tobago - Port-of-spain

Today, the security guard at a popular mall told me I couldn't park in the handicapped spot. When I pointed out that my Dad is in a wheelchair he told me that the spots are only for handicapped drivers. He then went on to say that I shouldn't expect special treatment just because I'm white. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 25/03/2016 21:56 - United States - Hyattsville

Today, my mom sent me a text asking if I checked the mail. I'm active military, thousands of miles away from home. Turns out she sent me a surprise Easter package. Only problem? The shitty teenagers at my apartment complex stole my package, and ruined the sweet surprise. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By I shouldn't be sad, but... - 25/03/2016 21:55 - United States - King George

Today, I learned about the financial aid options decided on by the schools I applied to. My backup/worst school is giving me a full-ride scholarship (including room and board), while my top choice school that I had my heart set on is giving me absolutely nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Myself - 25/03/2016 21:49 - United States - Murphysboro

Today, I am sick. My ever loving dad made me choke down some chicken noodle soup. This would of been fine if I hadn't been a vegetarian for the past 5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By bradix1186 - 25/03/2016 21:41 - Philippines - Philippine

Today, one of my best friends asked me to emcee his product launch. I said yes and got excited to earn extra money. By the end of the event, the only thing I received was a hug and "Thanks, man. I appreciate what you did. I love you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By RoseLich - 25/03/2016 21:35 - United States - Youngstown

Today, and for the entirety of my life, my dad didn't miss his opportunity for sexism. This time, he assumed I couldn't understand plumbing because I'm a girl. Never mind I have to fix his shower every month. At least he complimented the dinner I just made him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By elsie9900 - 25/03/2016 21:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would have been ecstatic except for the fact that he asked me by sending me a message on Words With Friends. (Yes the Scrabble app). FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By MrConfusion - 25/03/2016 21:19 - United States - Pomona

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, telling me that she was lesbian. How did she come out, you ask? She sang "I Kissed a Girl". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By candaz1 - 25/03/2016 20:35 - United States

Today, my fiancé cheered for me. I took my first crap in a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By KyloRen - 25/03/2016 20:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my roommate once again brought her Bf into our room and they stated kissing, tickling each other and other such stuff while I was in the room. This happens often. I ended up sitting in the lobby so I didn't have to hear it. I get forced out of my own room constantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anon - 25/03/2016 19:59 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I left a store with clothes I had just bought and the buzzer went off. Not thinking anything of it I went in throughout the mall. In every store the buzzer went off. Turns out the lady in the first store forgot to take the sensor off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Flayflan - 25/03/2016 19:47 - United States - Raleigh

Today, my older brother was reading some naughty literature. Right next to me and my sister. Despite my obvious hints at him going in the bathroom 5 steps away, he insists on humping his bed right next to us. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By grouptxtdick - 25/03/2016 19:41 - United States - Seattle

Today, for the third time I received a group text from a bunch of numbers I have never seen. So like anyone woken up in the middle of the night I told them whoever to stop including me in the group txt circle jerk. Happy Easter entire family. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 25/03/2016 19:41 - Turkey

Today, I got Dan Brown's signed book I had ordered for my boyfriend's birthday 2 weeks ago thinking it would take a long time to arrive. He broke up with me 5 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By alright. - 25/03/2016 19:33 - Canada - Fort Frances

Today, I got shampoo in my eyes right before I went out to visit my mom. She now thinks I use my money for drugs and refuses to help me pay for university. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 25/03/2016 19:28 - United States

Today, our a/c unit is broken. My windows are open to let fresh air in. So are my hot neighbors'. I just got out of the shower and forgot. I'm naked. Yes, he saw everything. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 25/03/2016 19:26 - United States - Arlington

Today, my dad got out the hospital. He's been in for 2 months and said the whole time "I'm gonna quit smoking". 5 minutes into leaving the hospital he asked me for one he said if I didn't give him one he would jump out of the car. I thought he was bluffing and said no. Guess who wasn't bluffing?

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By um - 25/03/2016 19:23 - United States

Today, I took my brother on a run with me. He couldn't keep up so I stopped for a second, when he finally caught up he took off his shoes, threw them into the forest, and yelled at me for stopping because he's "not a baby'" and now my parents want me to go find his shoes because I made him mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 25/03/2016 19:08 - United States - Tracy

Today, I found why my internet kept randomly cutting out. My mom kept unplugging the router over and over thinking it was "good data control". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By JJJ - 25/03/2016 19:00 - United States - Arnold

Today, my aunt mistook me, a 15 year old male for my cousin Britney, a 22 year old female. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By crystal - 25/03/2016 18:49 - United States - Hialeah

Today, while trying to get a wasp out of the house, my 1 year old reached for it. With nothing handy to get it away, I threw myself on it before he could get hurt... long story short.. wasp is dead and I was stung on the rear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By hamiltonma - 25/03/2016 18:48 - United States

Today, while sitting at the bus stop on the way to work, this sweet looking old man sat down next to me. Being polite, I said hello. He replied by telling me how pretty my feet were, commenting on how he would like to lick them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 25/03/2016 18:42 - United States - Hialeah

Today, while being a greeter for Walmart a woman started yelling me for not helping her get the wheelchair for her daughter. I had no clue what she was talking, but apologized. She continued to yell and threatened to sue me for everything I had. I'm broke and own nothing of value. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By actual ya protaginist - 25/03/2016 18:41 - United States - Olney

Today, while walking across campus to my second class of the day I slipped and fell on my ankle. It's been four hours and my ankle hasn't stopped bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By PBJ Lovar - 25/03/2016 18:34 - United States - Barbeau

Today, my dad stood over my shoulder and criticized me about making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich wrong, and lectured me on the proper way to make the sandwich and put it in the bag, followed up by telling me I'd have a tough time in life. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By kitcattt - 25/03/2016 18:23 - United States - Sacramento

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't text back, so I went to his house and walked in on him cheating on me with a fifty year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my friend was saying how her "nano" died. I quickly responded by saying, "So? Recharge it." Turns out she didn't say "nano"; she'd said "nana." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 566

You deserved it 51 579

Today, I had to buy more supplies for the cat my friend asked me to pet sit for 2 weeks. Her 2-week vacation ended over 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 055

You deserved it 483

Today, my boyfriend decided he hates my male best friend because they have "conflicting interests." My best friend's response? "What's his gamertag so I can shoot him in Halo?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 956

You deserved it 7 385

Today, I was expecting a package from a few days ago, but it still hadn't arrived. As I was going to work, I found it at my grandma's house. Why didn't my grandma tell me, you ask? She died last year. My package was mistakenly delivered to A DEAD PERSON. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 116

Today, my friend figured out that if you poke my neck I scratch like a dog. She has yet to cease doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 338

You deserved it 806

Today, I had to drive 40-odd miles to my grown-ass son's house to kill a large spider on the wall. It had him trapped in his bedroom because his wife had already gone to work. How did I ever raise such a wuss? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 765

You deserved it 1 675