Nearly FMLs

By TimeTraveler - 26/03/2016 05:13

Today, while my plane taxies to runway I got a travel notification. My next flight is now taking off 3 hours before this flight lands. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 05:11 - United States - Seattle

Today, I found out that my ex boyfriend whom I dated for three years is now with the girl that was "just a friend". I found out through Snapchat. I knew I shouldn't have doubted my homewrecker radar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Camry_Girl420 - 26/03/2016 05:09 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, It's been almost 2 weeks since I've been able to have sex with my husband. we're newlyweds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By embeddedspoon - 26/03/2016 04:19 - United States - Ogden

Today, my mom decided to ruin my social life. She stole my phone at night, and decided to bitch out all my best friends for not "being there for me". She refuses to admit that what she did was wrong, and none of my friends want anything to do with me anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By alia_blue - 26/03/2016 04:18 - United States - Mechanicsburg

Today, I was pumped to go home for break, since I've been experiencing bad anxiety at school. No more than 5 minutes in, my mom started asking me all about my exams, practices, and applying for internships, that I had a panic attack and almost passed out. Can't wait to go back to school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 04:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend decided she wanted to lose her virginity to me. I finished before i could even get it in. After some awkward silence she asked if she could put her clothes back on.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 04:05 - United States - New Philadelphia

Today

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By Autistic_Slut - 26/03/2016 03:47 - United States

Today, my mom though it was appropriate to let my 8-year-old brother go into the bathroom to do a number 2 while i was showering. He flushed the toilet and turned off the lights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By JustMe - 26/03/2016 03:43 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my family was going out to dinner for my birthday. I wanted to go to a Mexican restaurant, but my family shot the idea down because "they didn't feel like having it." We ended up going to a Chinese buffet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By SickPrincess - 26/03/2016 03:42 - United States - Groveland

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. Fantastic day spent outside just enjoying each other's company and a great dinner, we were ready to end the night with some fun in the bedroom when dinner decided not to be so great and I'm now in the bathroom with it leaving out both ends FML!

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By mike424 - 26/03/2016 03:40 - United States - Paterson

Today, I found out we had a mouse living in my apartment. After I tried killing it with a broom, my roommate came running out with his hand gun and tried shooting it. Now I have to explain to my landlord why there is a gunshot hole in the kitchen wall.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By icedcoffee - 26/03/2016 03:18 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, while working a shift at the local coffee shop, a lady came in and asked for an iced coffee without Any coffee or ice. Sadly, I encounter this nearly every week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By redreflex10 - 26/03/2016 02:51 - United States - Oxnard

Today, my sister was taking us to six flags (A 40 minute drive) and when we got there we we're all pumped only to realize she forgot the tickets back at home. Meaning we would have to drive back home and back again to six flags. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Dorminion - 26/03/2016 02:47 - United States - Omaha

Today, I realized that my Friday night consists of drinking cheap wine in a cheap motel room, while on FML. I really do need a social life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By BIGJ0 - 26/03/2016 02:46 - United States - Putnam Valley

Today, I almost gave up on a very stressful assignment that I pulled two all nighters on in a row. I finished it on time, however, my professor decided to cancel the assignment and is going to restructure the class and bring it down a few notches because of all the email complaints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 01:40 - United States - Bastrop

Today, I went into a public bathroom to fix a wedgie in private. When I came out my mom yelled "Did you get it taken care of!" Everybody in the restaurant turned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By oops - 26/03/2016 01:16 - United States - Denver

Today, my mom, my best friend, and my sister all found a dick pic of mine because of iCloud. When questioned about it, my mom let me off with a simple, "just because he does it doesn't mean you should". I later found out "he" was my stepdad by looking at my mom's texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By susannetruitt - 26/03/2016 00:45 - United States - Cabot

Today, my boyfriend of 12 years took me to the beach for a "talk" it ended with him saying he found the right ring but the wrong girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anon music teacher - 26/03/2016 00:41 - Canada - Milton

Today, I had to ask a student to change their diaper. I work in a high school. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 26/03/2016 00:30 - United States - Massapequa

Today, while at the movie theater, a kid was sitting next to me and 20 minutes in he turned and vomited all over my seat and clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 00:06 - United Kingdom - Sacriston

Today, My youngest child, 7 years old, stated that when he is old enough to have a phone of his own he will call the police on me and get me arrested! The crime?... Not taking the path home that he wanted to walk. Can't wait for his teenage years!.FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By crap... - 25/03/2016 23:57 - United States

Today, as I was leaving the hospital from visiting my sister, I went to Pizza Hut. I am 2 and a half hours away from home and got food poisoning. I now have to sit in the car for that amount of time without crapping my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By UncommonlyCommon - 25/03/2016 23:56 - Poland - Szumowo

Today, I discovered that my plan to get my ex back when I end high school (we broke up because he though that long distance is not possible) will never happen. Apparently for six weeks he's been dating my best friend. From my school. And I found out because he's taking her to my sister wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Unloved - 25/03/2016 23:54 - United States - Monroe

Today, my girlfriend of two years decided it was time to go our separate ways. I was very sad about the breakup but I told her it's ok as long as she's sure. Her response was "don't worry, I never liked you anyway, I just never had the heart to tell you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By nowfailing - 25/03/2016 23:46 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my math teacher made me retake a test that I had recently gotten a 77% on. I did worse this time around. She says I have to keep the grade from the retake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By jelrid - 25/03/2016 23:43 - United States - Kalamazoo

Today, While watching the new Superman movie, some jackass decided it would be amusing to pull the fire alarm. The entire cinema was evacuated before they discovered it was a false alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By FORBES - 25/03/2016 23:36 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been secretly recording me while I take a shower, when I confronted him he said " at least am honest about it"smfh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Pirate4life - 25/03/2016 23:35 - United States - Valparaiso

Today the woman I moved across country to be with, kissed me goodbye, said "I love you, see you in a few hours", and left for an auto show with a friend. 5 hours later I texted her and asked how long she'd be, and she said "I don't think we are right for each other". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By 'Friend', sure - 25/03/2016 23:25 - United States

Today, my friend didn't see the issue with saying that I would break the gym floor if i fell onto it. I'm overweight and trying to get in shape. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 25/03/2016 23:24 - United States - Irving

Today, my dad drove home without me from the car dealership (which is an entire hour away) in the new car, taking the keys to the other car with him. The reason we were there in the first place? To buy ME a car. FML

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You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, my boss called me Ashley. My name doesn't even start with an A. I even wear a name tag. You would think after nearly four years, your boss would remember your name. Every time he speaks to me, it's a different name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 848

You deserved it 4 038

Today, I was talking to the girl I've liked for 2 years. We were assigned partners for a History project so we were going to work on it at my house. When she asked me for directions, I told her I lived on Woodcock Road. She yelled slapped me and stormed off. I was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 556

You deserved it 3 382

Today, I jokingly said to my coworker, "God, what I wouldn't do for a week off work." I was then tested positive for COVID fifteen minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 484

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me "yummy pictures." I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 926

You deserved it 106 312

Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 161

You deserved it 11 231

Today, while on a flight, another passenger pulled their carry-on out of the overhead. They forgot about the filled, metal water bottle clipped to the outside until it nailed me on top of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 268

You deserved it 463