Nearly FMLs

By RyRoz - 26/03/2016 17:41 - Egypt - Cairo

Today, I found out that my mom hired a maid to help her clean the house when I wasn't home. She let her clean my room. This wouldn't be a problem if the room needed any cleaning. The maid found where I keep the money I've been saving for months and took it all. There goes my $500. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By bad day job - 26/03/2016 17:25 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I found out a coworker is actively recruiting other associates against me to sabotage my career. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By leah_kascar - 26/03/2016 17:21 - United States - Miami

Today, I had a meeting on the 30th floor of a building and all the escalators were glass overlooking the city, I have an extreme fear of heights so I started hyperventilating and passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Kondor017 - 26/03/2016 17:20 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I overhead my dad and younger brother talking about shaving. Me, being the older brother, decided to add to the conversation. When I started to talk, my dad just gave me a puzzled look and said "wait, you shave too?". My little brother is 14. I'm 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 17:07 - United States - College Station

Today, I asked my fiance how he thought he might react when I told him I was pregnant. I expected some sort of jumping in excitement since our children will be planned and he's always told me he loves kids. His response? "I'd probably go outside and cry because babies freak me out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By shrekshrek - 26/03/2016 17:07 - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, my friend accidentally sent me her nudes on Whatsapp that she meant for her boyfriend. That's not even the worst part, as all of the pictures had synced to my family's iCloud. I no longer have my phone and I'm grounded for two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 17:06 - Philippines - Para?aque

Today, after constant bugging from my colleagues and superiors, I finally decided after all these years, to adhere to casual dress day. So, I came to work wearing jeans, rubber shoes and a T-shirt. Now everyone thinks I'm immature and/or gay because my shirt has Rainbow Dash on a big pink heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By why - 26/03/2016 16:52 - Australia - Canberra

Today, I heard screaming from the bathroom. I ran in in a panic, and found my 17 year old son crying and holding his shit-covered phone. He said he, "just wanted to see what it looks like when poop comes out". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By UniversalWolf - 26/03/2016 16:39 - United States - Chicago Heights

Today, I had brought my personal laptop for my new animation class. The teacher gave a link to a video that wouldn’t open in Chrome, so I opened it in Firefox. I use multiple browsers for ‘various’ things. I suddenly remembered what I used Firefox for 3 months ago... very loud porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 16:18 - United States

Today, after using a condom my boyfriend took from his parent's bedside table, i found out I'm pregnant. Apparently, his mom is trying for another kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By just... fuck you - 26/03/2016 16:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mother yelled and screamed at me to the point of tears because I politely asked her to stop trying to control my life. This isn't the first time this had happened. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By crownedcrazy - 26/03/2016 16:06 - United States - Elmhurst

Today, I spent two hours tearing my room apart looking for a document I need to go and file my taxes. Now my room is a mess, I missed the appointment, I have to head to work and I still haven't found the paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 16:05 - Trinidad and Tobago - Chaguanas

Today, my depression has gotten so bad I haven't eaten in 4 days because I couldn't complete the supposedly simple task of getting out of bed. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 16:04 - South Sudan

Today, at work, (I work in Africa in the bush) due to my bosses knee injury i had to hold him upright while he took a shit. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ShleeG - 26/03/2016 15:34 - Canada - London

Today, my friend decided she didn't want to be my friend anymore. How did I find out? She deleted me off of Facebook and blocked me when I tried to add her again. (I thought I accidentally deleted her myself.) Her reason for throwing away our friendship? Because I didn't smoke weed at her birthday

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By TheDarkCaster - 26/03/2016 15:24 - United Kingdom - Caterham

Today, I had a job interview. I decided to wear tight trousers, tight enough to show an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Fuck PMS - 26/03/2016 14:56 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I got my period. Since then I've been crying for 3 hours straight for no apparent reason. If this is going to happen every month I'm going to go crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Psyseon - 26/03/2016 14:49 - United States - Fairborn

Today, after setting several mouse traps, bleach-cleaning the utensil drawer, and locking our two cats in the kitchen overnight, I opened the utensil drawer to find a mouse had just given birth on the spoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 14:36 - United States - Massapequa

Today, I had the lovely experience on falling down the stairs on my day off and lying there for seven hours with a broken leg not being able to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By crcouch217 - 26/03/2016 14:32 - United States - Houston

Today, I learned the hard way that there is such a thing as clear liquid hot sauce that comes in a airplane/minibar type bottle when I tried to chug it like vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By nope - 26/03/2016 14:29 - United States - Norristown

Today, after I got out of the shower, I stretched out the curtain so it would dry all the way. As I did so, an enormous black spider ran across it. This took place not 20 minutes after the exterminator left the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Skyfoogle - 26/03/2016 13:57 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I asked my sister, with all seriousness, what was so great about bacon. Great enough to get a black eye for, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Kieranr10 - 26/03/2016 13:30 - United Kingdom - Sittingbourne

Today, I won a £1000 lottery scratch card. Today is also the day my little brother decided he wanted to learn how to use the shredder. FML?

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 13:03 - United States - Clayton

Today, I feel my work environment is toxic. It's not just because my boss has been calling me the "Aryan Princess" or that she makes awkward attempts at trying to feed me unhealthy food to make me fat after I lost weight. It's because HR won't do anything about it. I have to find a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By MorsFalce - 26/03/2016 12:42 - United States - Uniontown

Today, the new work schedule came out and my 21st birthday present from work is a 12 hour midnight shift on Easter. So much for that great family birthday bash we have been planning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By eskiimoo - 26/03/2016 12:39 - United States - Washington

Today, I took my crush to the mall since she cannot drive. I bought her a new scarf and even lunch. When we were leaving, she said, "I wish I could find a guy like you." I am a guy like me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 12:38

Today,while I was emptying my bowels,a mouse came out of the drain and ran out of the washroom into my house. It's still somewhere in my house covered in poop. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 12:29 - United States

Today, my friends tried for the upteenth time to set me up on a blind date. When I finally agreed, they fell into a shocked silence. Apparently, they didn't have anyone for the date because they thought I wouldn't accept the date like I usually did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By FuckinSpider - 26/03/2016 12:28 - Australia - Castle Hill

Today after a ten hour long shift, I came home to the biggest spider I've ever seen in my life, scurrying faster than lightening around my kitchen. I'm such a poor uni student all I have to protect myself with is an Australian flag and my history textbook. Don't worry, it's under the fridge now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By All My Fault Apparently - 26/03/2016 12:16 - Belgium - Zolder

Today, my mother screamed at me that I am the root cause of all her unhappiness, and that our family must be her personal hell. Then she burst out in tears and confessed that she drove off last night, and only came back home because she had nowhere else to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because I didn't know what her favorite ice cream was. She says it proves I don't care enough about her. I don't think I've ever seen her eat ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 889

You deserved it 3 890

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 617

You deserved it 15 143

Today, I went to take my driver's test, and I did almost everything perfectly. The last thing was to back into a driveway. As I went to put my hand on the passenger seat to look over my shoulder, I got so nervous that I hit my instructor in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 687

You deserved it 3 638

Today, I found out during my eleventh year anniversary with my husband that he was cheating on me with his recently deceased friend's girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 79

Today, I asked my boyfriend if my ass looked big in my new jeans. He looked, and then started singing "I like big butts and I cannot lie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 173

You deserved it 44 734

Today, I was painting my room. I told my mom not to open the door because I was on a ladder just behind it, with a paint can perched atop. She barged in to ask me what I'd said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 376

You deserved it 5 062