Nearly FMLs

By Didn't Know - 27/03/2016 16:54 - United States - New York

Today, I was at an Easter lunch at a restaurant and the 5 of us at the "big kid" table were talking about how we found out the Easter bunny wasn't real and apparently my 15 year old cousin didn't know and now we have an uncontrollably sobbing, 160 pound, jacked wrestler on our hands FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Spartancjm - 27/03/2016 16:26 - United States - Santee

Today, my girlfriend invited me to Easter breakfast with her family, who love me. She later uninvited me saying, "it's a family thing" and I understood that I shouldn't intrude. Her mom just texted me inviting me over. If I say no, I'll look rude to the family, if I go I'm an asshole to my girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By RocketGirl92 - 27/03/2016 16:23 - United States - Miami

Today, after being sick the last couple days, realized I left my car window halfway down. This wouldn't normally be a problem, but it's been raining nonstop the whole time. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By LittleGina - 27/03/2016 16:03 - United States - Roxboro

Today, I got on the subway and I didn't grab the pole in time. When it started, I fell over, resulting in me grabbing an elderly lady's breasts to catch myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 15:50 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I began to experience both of the side effects my acne and irritated skin medication warned me about - the side effects of course being acne and irritated skin. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By dhdyvifjdksk - 27/03/2016 15:48

Today,I was replacing the fuel filter on my lawn mower while I was in side washing the gas off my hands I hear a loud FWOOM my sister had thoughtlessly flicked her cigarette into what she though was water, I no longer own a lawn mower,FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By myfriendssuck - 27/03/2016 15:46 - United States - Rock Island

Today, I found out all of my friends have created evil ways to kill me. Even my family and two teachers have laughed about my death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 15:38 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, the day before an important meeting about my masters thesis, I am sick with the flu. Why? Because my sister-in-law thought it was an awesome idea to bring a sick kid to easter lunch with 11 other people without any warning. They all knew I had this meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By thisisthestupid - 27/03/2016 15:05 - United States - Washington

Today, while 40 miles away for Easter my boyfriend went on suicide watch None of my family seems to think it's an important enough reason to take me home FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By simoneybee - 27/03/2016 14:44 - United States - Sandy Hook

Today, my boyfriend and I sat down to discuss if being long distance most of the year was still working. I came with a stack of handwritten letters outlining ways we could make long distance easier, and how badly I wanted to make the relationship work. He broke up with me anyways, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By eskiimoo - 27/03/2016 14:41 - United States - Washington

Today, my Mother-in-Law came into town. She thought it would be a good idea to fill my chocolate bunny with ghost pepper sauce. Not only was it hot, I'm also severely allergic to it. I'm now spending my Easter in the ER. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By nothinglefthere - 27/03/2016 14:35

Today, I am alone on Easter. My family decided to all go to Florida to see my cousin and her boyfriend so THEY wouldn't be alone on Easter. I couldn't afford the flight there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By debthereIcome - 27/03/2016 14:17 - United States

Today, I was sent an email with details about a scholarship I really wanted to apply for. I began to plan out my essays until I looked at the due date. The email was sent to me the day after the due date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By ok then. - 27/03/2016 13:54 - Australia - Cammeray

Today, a girl who likes my current boyfriend texted me and asked how was the date we went on. I didn't tell her I was going on a date. I just blow it off as someone else telling her, to realise I've gotten 5 missed calls from a unknown number. They were all from her. I'm scared FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 13:53 - United States - Middletown

Today, I was out in the woods with my friends and I had to piss. I ended up wiping with a poison ivy leaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By whattheactualfuckbabe - 27/03/2016 13:51 - United States - Chicago

Today, I woke up to an angry boyfriend. After much prodding, he finally told me that while I was sleeping, he went on my Snapchat "as me", flirted with one of my male friends to "see what he would do", and is now mad at me because they flirted back. Yeah, I'm just as confused as you are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Denise1988 - 27/03/2016 13:40 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I brought my 7 year old son his breakfast and turned to walk away when he said "Hey, Mom?" I replied "What is it, sweetie?" To which he replied "Those pants make your butt look big!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By single pringle - 27/03/2016 13:37 - United States - Amesbury

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because he told me my haircut made me "look like a dike" and that he "would hate looking at me every day". But don't worry, he still " loves me for who I am, there's just no more physical attraction". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By IsJailSoBad? - 27/03/2016 13:15 - United States - Durango

Today, my roommates complained about me doing laundry because they pay a third of the bills. I pay a third and barely use any water. I can't take a shower or do one load of laundry without a complaint about how I ruined their life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By queerdragon - 27/03/2016 13:00 - United States - Redlands

Today, I found out the guy I have been sleeping with is also sleeping with my sister. I found out when she introduced him to the family at Easter Dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By jazzyjay17 - 27/03/2016 12:10 - United States - Lake Worth

Today, Someone in the house hid the remote to the fans to save power AND the AC is broken so it's about 90 degrees in the house, so I went and bought a fan. This morning the knob was broken off my fan and hidden... FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 12:08 - United States - Ashburn

Today, I started to tell the girl I like, who's a very good friend of mine, that "I actually really like-" only to be interrupted by her saying "Oh no". FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By onlyworker - 27/03/2016 11:54 - United States - Spencer

Today, I'm getting a puppy and I told my girlfriend that I like dogs more than most people. She responded by saying that I better go ahead a move myself into the dog house to which I said "the company would definitely be better". It's just me and the dog now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 2

By wtfdude - 27/03/2016 11:51 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from her grandfather's house.. He'd shaved her head. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Pay4MyStuff - 27/03/2016 11:44 - United States - Lake Mary

Today, my in-laws and parents came over for Easter dinner. While they were here they managed to break my couch, table, a window, and the air conditioner. They won't pay for any of it either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By MrLonelyHertz - 27/03/2016 11:43

Today, after setting several different alarm, starting from 10:15pm all the way to 11:00pm in order to get to work on time, I somehow managed to wake up at midnight, making it into work 15 minutes late. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 11:32 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today I found out that my husband thinks it's ok to insert his penis into another woman while I am asleep upstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By idonotevenlikebukkakeporn - 27/03/2016 11:23 - United Kingdom - Bideford

Today, being a 17 years old girl who heard the term bukkake from her friends, I looked it up in the Urban Dictionary at 1 AM. Out of the blue, bukkake porn started playing at full volume, definitely waking up my 83 years old landlady, whom I only met on Monday. She told my mum about it, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By lealiaz - 27/03/2016 11:12 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, I found out what Netflix and chill means after suggesting it to my whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 2

By HeartYou101 - 27/03/2016 10:57 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my 64 year-old grandmother is literally telling every second person we come across in town that she's walking like John Wayne because got her vagina waxed eariler, as she's going on a "hot weekend away" with my granddad. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, I realized that at 20 years old I already have noticeable wrinkles around my eyes. But to balance it out, my chronic acne keeps me looking youthful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 954

You deserved it 3 039

Today, after years of lonesome birthdays overseas, I am finally able to celebrate the occasion at home. My best friend of 10 years will not be attending because her boyfriend of two months is having his party the same night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 841

You deserved it 2 120

Today, my step-mom threw out some of the "boxes of junk" in my room, because apparently, I'm a pack rat. I guess she and everyone else in my family won't be receiving those Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 691

You deserved it 1 872

Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!" in Michael Jackson's voice while having an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 303

You deserved it 6 459

Today, my husband called me to our bedroom, saying he needed help with something. I found him sitting on the bed with his pants down, so I smiled and asked if he was angling for sex, which was fine with me. Nope. He needed me to pop a pimple under his ballsack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 230

You deserved it 387

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend. We'd just got our food when my dad walks in, comes up to our table and says, "I didn't say you could leave, you're too young to be dating him", then drags me out of the restaurant. We are both 15, and it was my first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 548

You deserved it 14 082