Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 18:36 - United States - Mesa

Today, I had to file a police report with two other random people because someone planting something sharp shard of metal to the ground and popped a tire on all three of our cars. Now I'm in the middle of moving on Easter weekend with a spare temp tire and not enough money to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By luke73tnt - 27/03/2016 18:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to find out that my brother passed away due to an accidental drug overdose, we all thought he quit drugs. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Kurby14 - 27/03/2016 18:23 - United States - Anchorage

Today, someone stole my little brothers Easter basket. At church. Also, a bunch of adults ran over him and other kids to get Easter eggs for their kids. Happy Easter! FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By TheLostCauseFML - 27/03/2016 18:19 - United States - Franklin

Today, I made more than enough bacon to feed my family of five to have BLT sandwiches for supper. Once it was ready, I informed everyone that I was going to rest a moment because I wasn't feeling well. When I got up, all the bacon and fixings was gone. I had frozen burritos for supper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Smoothasglass - 27/03/2016 18:19 - United States - Denver

Today, I went to Starbucks to try one of their more expensive drinks. When I asked the barista how much it would cost, she said I'd be free if I took her on a date. I got so flustered that I pulled out my wallet and told her I'd just pay for the drink. The look of anger in her eyes.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 18:18 - United States - Easton

Today, my mother bought Easter presents for my sister and I. My sister received about $80 worth of clothes. My mom thought it would be funny to get me a plush toy that I had as a baby. When I told her that she spent more money on my sister than me, she claimed that the toy also cost $80. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Lola.Martinez. - 27/03/2016 18:17 - United States - Tuscaloosa

Today, I was so excited for a camping trip that when we finally got out there explosive diarrhea decided to join us. Happy I finally got to shit in the woods but I had rather not shit my pants first. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By awkwardEaster - 27/03/2016 18:13 - United States - Auburn

Today, my extended family is hosting a big Easter lunch and baptism at my parents house. I am flying solo as I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago. I just found out that, among the attendees will be the man who shattered my heart last Mother's Day...along with his new girlfriend and her child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 18:10 - United States - Groves

Today, I was at a friends house while her parents were having sex next thing I heard was her mother scream loosen my asshole daddy my friend wasn't at all phased by this.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By KonekoChi - 27/03/2016 18:10 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I got fired from my job because I wouldn't cover for someone who just wanted to go home.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By miserablemummy - 27/03/2016 18:08 - United Kingdom - Dundee

Today, my 4 year old daughter, out of nowhere shouted "mummy is fat" in front of my entire family. she's right and I'm working on it but still FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By mylonius - 27/03/2016 18:04 - United States

Today, a girl I like told me to listen to a song called "Daddy Issues." I jokingly asked if she had any, and she responded by telling me about her dad's issues with drugs and alcohol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Humptown - 27/03/2016 18:04 - United States - Bronx

Today, I walked in on my dog doing it with my girlfriend's dog. He's gotten more action in a day than I've had in a month. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By thatJerseygirl - 27/03/2016 18:00 - United States - Dover

Today, I broke up with my ex, and then he kept calling me and calling me finally, I picked up and yelled "what do you want?" he asked me to marry him if it was alright with his mom, my mom and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 17:59 - United States - Wausau

Today, I asked my crush out, and she said she was already in a relationship. 10 minutes later I text one of her friends to find out who she is dating. her friend says she has been single for almost a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Slapsmcgee - 27/03/2016 17:57 - United States

Today, I walked into a sign, only to turn around and be slapped by one of my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By KSalyers88 - 27/03/2016 17:54 - United States - El Cajon

Today my daughter got mad at me for not letting her have ice cream and decided to run away and hide. No one knew where she went so we were searching the neighborhood, knocking on doors. Only to get a call from my other daughter that she found her asleep in her stuffed animal box. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By SoooFunnny - 27/03/2016 17:52 - Australia - Hobart

Today, at the local supermarket with my 18 month old nephew while we were getting some groceries we happened to pass an older woman (about 60+). My nephew leaned forward in his stroller and gave a hard audible slap on her bum as we were passing, never have i been so embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By ohsnapword - 27/03/2016 17:45 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I found out that I have to continue paying alimony to my ex-wife. She makes double my salary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By ChicMommy - 27/03/2016 17:41 - United States - Littleton

Today, I got fired after missing one day of training, even though I notified the proper people and let them know I had a horrendous case of food poisoning combined with awful morning sickness. To make matters worse my supervisor called and asked why I wasn't at work. Lack of communication much? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By anon - 27/03/2016 17:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out that my husband was cheating on me...for two years...with my mom.FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By thanks dad - 27/03/2016 17:38 - United States - Glen Carbon

Today, after years of my dad encouraging me to join the army and me finally realizing that's what I wanted to do, he informed me that I'm too stupid and will likely die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Kendall14159 - 27/03/2016 17:36 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I took a massive shit after getting food poisoning at a prestigious party and the tail of my $150 dress fell in the toilet. Now I have liquid fecal matter all over the bottom of my dress and the party doesn't end for another 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By exotic_sloth - 27/03/2016 17:32 - United States - Oakdale

Today, I went to a tattoo parlor to get a tattoo. I asked for a heart on my back. When he was done, I took a pic of it on my phone to see it. It was a penis. I asked him why he drew that instead of a heart. He said the only way to a woman's heart is your penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By 123_omg - 27/03/2016 17:29 - United States - Bowman

Today, I am spending Easter by myself. Meanwhile, my boyfriend's entire family is home and they are having a big dinner and having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By nothanksz - 27/03/2016 17:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom's phone went off in the middle of church. Her ring tone was the song "my neck, my back, lick my pussy and my crack"...Fml

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By happyeaster - 27/03/2016 17:22 - United States - Brainerd

Today, on Easter, my sons father, who hasn't seen him more than 3 times in the 8 months he's been alive, informed me he will be fighting for custody. He is a 12 time felon and has no idea what my son even likes or how to take care of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 17:19 - Canada - Saint John

Today, my mom found out I am no longer a virgin. She flipped out and has decided I need to go to therapy for my "satanic behavior" or else she will no longer continue to help me financially in getting through school. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By ApplePorn - 27/03/2016 17:13 - Switzerland - Geneva

Today, I was watching porn on TV in my room. Suddenly I heard my mom and my sister screaming in the living room. We have Apple TV and I had accidentally turned on the Airplay functionality which broadcasts what I'm watching on every single connected device. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 10

By parents.... - 27/03/2016 16:55 - Austria - Bad Hall

Today, my mum had a meltdown because I didn't bring her ice cream while she was sunbathing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I visited my grandma. Shortly after I arrived, she freaked out after finding a "snake" in her closet. It was a rubber snake that my brother must have put there yesterday as a prank. I picked it up and told her it was fake. She then yelled at me for playing such a disgusting prank on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 503

You deserved it 3 719

Today, I ran into an old friend from college on the bus to work. Having not seen each other in over 10 years, we spent a good 15 minutes talking about our lives after college. At the end, he asked me what my name was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 368

You deserved it 5 120

Today, it's been two days since I went out to a club with my sister. I love dancing and was really getting really into it. However, my neck muscles are still sore. From dancing for two hours. I'm 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 260

Today, I heard that my stepmom’s mother passed away… via a public Facebook post made by my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 115

Today, my boyfriend introduced me as a friend to one of his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 138

Today, a woman came knocking on my door. Not to sell something or to chat, no. To punch me in the mouth. Apparently, I stole her husband and I'm a homewrecker. We don't have a clue who she is. My husband and I have been married for 5 years, and were high school sweethearts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 144

You deserved it 248