Nearly FMLs

By aniche - 28/03/2016 03:54 - Qatar - Doha

Today, the girl I have been crushing on for months now walked up to me asking if I knew any handsome guys she could hit on. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 03:46 - United States - Chevy Chase

Today, my mom introduced me to her new boyfriend. We went to highschool together. I'm two years older than him. He wants me to call him dad. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Hen-Pecked Husband - 28/03/2016 03:40 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I discovered a new way to tell if my newly wed wife is PMS'ing. If she responds to a question by telling me I am a fat, lazy, self-centred bastard, then it's a pretty safe bet. The magical question is: "Would you like a green tea?". FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 03:33 - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Today, my dad told us that he borrowed money from loan sharks and he didn't even tell us how much he borrowed. From what I've learned from movies,dramas and news, this never ends well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By SavageSmith - 28/03/2016 03:31 - United States - Bowling Green

Today, my teacher told me to get my phone out to search something up but then my principal walked by our room and she saw I had my phone out and she took it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Birdclawz - 28/03/2016 03:22 - United States - Denver

Today, I am staying in a hotel. My step dad however, is making me sleep on the floor because his 7 year old daughter deserves her own bed, he gets the other with my mom, and my brother gets the couch. I don't even get a pillow or a blanket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By TheVirginWhore - 28/03/2016 03:18 - United States - Lancaster

Today, my fiancé made a FB post about his vasectomy, letting people know it went well. His mother demanded when it'd be reversed as she "wants her grandbabies". He said never. She proceded to wail on FB about how she's been deprived, calling me 'the whore that made her baby change his mind' FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By grifmelo - 28/03/2016 03:17 - United States - Bloomingdale

Today, I stomped on a cockroach, slipped on it and fell into a nest of literally hundreds of them. My girlfriend began crying. Out of laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Costales - 28/03/2016 03:05 - Puerto Rico - Bayamon

Today, I had to talk to my dad about our relationship, he seemed surprised that you had to do more than just pay child support to be a good dad. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By nothing_nobody - 28/03/2016 03:04 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, we all took pictures together in our Easter outfits. I was the one taking the pictures. When I asked to be in one, no one offered to take the picture. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 03:02 - United States - Houston

Today, my dog masturbated in front of my grandmother. Not humping a toy, just using his feet and thrusting. I've taken him to multiple vets, and seen behavioral specialists. Apparently there's nothing wrong with him, he's just horny. Sorry about the carpet, Nana. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By TCRII - 28/03/2016 03:00 - United States - Springfield

Today, I thought my fiance was calling to talk dirty on the phone. She just wanted to let the kids wish me a Happy Easter - on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By foreverAlone - 28/03/2016 02:54 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, the dating app I downloaded offered me a job instead of a potential match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By anonymous - 28/03/2016 02:52 - United States - Eugene

Today, I got a black eye at a metal concert. It was my first shiner and I thought it was cool. Now everyone gives my husband dirty looks when we're in public. It wasn't him!! FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By gingerlover01 - 28/03/2016 02:51 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom's phone conversation about "how unreal lesbians are I mean you know they all need a man for the sheets" she also went on to explain how horrible and fake they are, I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Vkfan - 28/03/2016 02:45 - Italy

Today, at 4am, I'm in the bathroom with food poisoning because of a cheap and old easter egg from yesterday; I'm forbidden (by my father) to flush the toilet because that would wake my little sister up. The stench is so terrible I feel like I'm about to throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By ineedmoretime - 28/03/2016 02:36 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea to show me her "high school cheerleader skills... Its been 8 hours and we are still at the hospital.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 02:18 - United States - Richmond

Today, I came back from a lovely weekend vacation with my fiancé. I've been glued to the toilet ever since we got in the door. It's coming out both ends and I've soiled two nightgowns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 02:18 - United States - Everett

Today, I found out my friend blames me for the death of "her" bunny. The bunny in question was a feral rabbit her mom had saved from their cat who died of stress just a few days later, a rabbit that my friend had never even held due to being out of state at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By onlyme25 - 28/03/2016 02:12 - United States - Panama City

Today, I was visiting with my Grandmother . She thought I knocked down my 2 year old daughter and made her fall. She then grabs me by my hair and moves me out of the way. My mother says I have to forgive her because " she's just an old woman". I still have a headache. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By imadude - 28/03/2016 02:12 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, I was eating dinner with my family when my mother came up with childhood pictures. My dad said me "Your sister ended up pretty, what happened to you?"

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By never listens to me - 28/03/2016 02:04 - United States

Today, I had to deactivate my Facebook, log out of any other social media, and put my phone on airplane mode just so my friend will stop forcing me to do things I don't want to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By pipman76 - 28/03/2016 01:49 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was attacked by a group of teenagers who took my wallet, I saw a man in the back with his phone out. I assumed he was calling the police but as soon as the kids left he yelled "Worldstar" and started laughing.FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By TheLostCauseFML - 28/03/2016 01:47 - United States - Franklin

Today, I commented to an acquaintance how I miss hiding Easter eggs for my grown Neice and Nephews. His creepy friend then replied, "I'd like to find your eggs.... with my sperm." And then asked for my number. I'm so lonely, that I considered it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 01:43 - United States - Lutz

Today, I walked in on my little brother sniffing MY jacket whacking off and moaning MY name pretty loud, what makes this more awkward is that i'm his BROTHER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By broke - 28/03/2016 01:26 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I received money, as an Easter present from my mother. She then reclaimed it in less than a day, to give it to my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 01:23 - United States - Stormville

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years, only to find her in my bed with several other men

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 01:19 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I'm on a trip to London with my College in a wheelchair, and I had my friend take me to the toilet. A plastic bag of mine fell to the floor and I thought "let it lie, it'll get cleaned up". Next thing I know, police are passing me and I've set off a bomb scare in Kings Cross Station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 01:14 - United States - Norcross

I finally found the perfect girl who felt the same about me. I woke up and found a rash and went to the doctor. Turns out I have herpes. Contacted the only person who could have given it to me and found out thats not the only thing I have. And now Im single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By lonely - 28/03/2016 01:03 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I'm going to see a movie in half and hour. I've just received messages in the group chat and everyone is bailing or not able to go anymore. I've already paid for my ticket. fml

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, a maintenance crew came to shovel outside our apartment at 1:00 a.m. They were a hired third party so our usual maintenance guy can't stop them, they didn't speak English for me to communicate, and the cops don't consider shoveling a noise complaint. They woke my kids, and I have to be up again in a few hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 282

Today, I received three big boxes from my mother in law, containing expensive cookware. I was puzzled, because I know that she hates me. Turns out she mailed them to us by mistake. Not only did she not get us anything, but I now have to pay to ship the boxes to her neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 146

You deserved it 1 920

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 534

You deserved it 59 129

Today, after I ordered a sextoy on Amazon, it’s the only cancelled order I’ve had an issue not receiving a refund with quickly. Now I may need to talk to customer service about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 373

Today, I got back from a camping trip after being homesick for 3 weeks. I couldn't remember why I had wanted to be away from my family for so long when I signed up for it. When I got home, I remembered. Everyone in my family hates each other. I want to go back to the camping site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 521

You deserved it 270

Today, while working at a hotel, I had a guest return his room key in my hands for once instead of throwing it on the counter. Progress, right? Except that it was covered in snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 670

You deserved it 221