Nearly FMLs

By RainbowLibster - 28/03/2016 09:13 - Australia - Perth

Today, my teacher gave me an 'F' on my assignment. She told me it would have been an 'A', but she saw me completing it at lunch, so therefore it was late as it was due today. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By anonymous - 28/03/2016 09:01 - Australia - Albany

Today, I got the flu. Not only that, my grandma is back in hospital after suffering another stroke, my mum is having X-rays for a possible broken arm and my sister drove over 400km back to university with my mums wallet in her car - which has all of our health insurance info in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By zzramz - 28/03/2016 09:01 - United States

Today, my 11 year old brother asked what a condom was with my mom and I in the car. My mom pulls a condom out of her glove compartment and shows him. To which my brother replies "I've seen one those rappers in Zoeys room." My mom laughed and said "Ha, your sister couldn't get laid if she tried." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By zzramz - 28/03/2016 08:51 - United States

Today, my aunt and uncle asked me to babysit for a few minutes. I didn't ask why considering they usually just go to the gas station. Within about 10 minutes of me watching my cousin I hear the bed creak and moans and I had to somehow come up with a exclamation to a 5 year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By wiifantcso - 28/03/2016 07:58 - United States - Mundelein

Today, I have chronic diarrhea and vomiting. My doctor prescribed me two medicines. The antidiarrheal causes vomiting, and the antiemetic causes diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By GoudaCheese - 28/03/2016 07:36 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my roommate called me and told me that someone broke into out apartment and urinated all over his bed, now I'm being accused of peeing on his bed and he threatened to call police on me yet I've been at work all day. And he left the door unlocked. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By oshit - 28/03/2016 07:05 - United States - Somerville

Today, I felt it was safe to venture out on some errands after waiting four days for my laxatives to kick in with no avail. I soon discovered that it takes four days for the pills to activate, mid-checkout at the grocery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By loveletters - 28/03/2016 06:58 - Spain - Valencia

Today, I'm 30 and I've received my first love letter. Unfortunately it's from a 15 years old student of mine. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By 48% - 28/03/2016 06:24 - United States - Fairfax

Today, I was taking a big math test worth 10% of our grade. I was halfway done when I remembered learning about mindfulness a couple days earlier. I decided to close my eyes and listen to my breath for a minute. I fell asleep only to be woken by the bell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 3

By Considering murder - 28/03/2016 06:20 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting on the beach playing our favorite song (it was midnight) and I was about to propose when someone shouted, "TURN OFF THE SH*T MUSIC!" from their balcony. I wasn't able to propose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By :/ - 28/03/2016 06:14 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I found out my girlfriend is thinking about breaking up with me because I've been too moody lately. Apparently, my brother dying with heart problems isn't a good excuse for needing to talk about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By jasminew836 - 28/03/2016 06:10 - United States - Columbia

Today, I grabbed my burning candle go to blow it out, subsequently dropping it and spilling hot wax on myself. Then, after stumbling around from the burning wax, I stepped on a tack on the floor. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 05:30 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years told me his family cancelled Easter dinner because his sister was out of town. Turns out it wasn't cancelled. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By kateeann - 28/03/2016 05:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after just walking into work as a customer service associate, I had a customer threaten me saying she would be back if her card was double charged for her transaction. I had just told her repeatedly to NOT swipe her card. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By fadgekeks - 28/03/2016 05:18 - Canada - Nepean

Today, I was sitting in a tree with my girlfriend. We were definitely close with each other and I decided to lean in for the first kiss. Just as I was about to kiss her, she jumped from the tree, sprained her ankle and ran away. I later heard her say to her friends that the injury was worth it. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By aeldsidhe - 28/03/2016 05:17 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, for the family Easter dinner, I spent over 3 hours making this spectacular multi-color, six layer cake with rainbow icing and cute little candy bunnies. I walked in to find my 4-year-old nephew picking off and eating the bunnies and then licking the cake to smooth out the icing.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 05:15 - United States - Eastlake

Today, I found out that all my friends and the majority of my high school senior class thinks I'm gay. No reasons behind it. They all think I'm gay despite having a girlfriend for 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 05:11 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend after a week long spring break apart. My best friend walked in on us. Within seconds he was naked and having a three way with us...she enjoyed sex better with him and asked to do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 05:08 - United States - Swansboro

Today, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with him because he "thought he had a chance with me." I'm a straight, married man and my best friend is upset at me because of it.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Soulless_95 - 28/03/2016 05:08 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, while visiting my grandmother, she loudly announced to my mother, while I was fixing the TV, that I was getting "even fatter". Feelin' the love, grandma.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By YupImThatGirl - 28/03/2016 05:06 - United States - Mesa

Today, I went to my family's to spend Easter. Before we ate the food, we had one of my cousins say grace. I had to sneeze but I knew that if I sneezed I would be ridiculed so I held it in. This didn't work, as I sneezed so hard I hit my head on the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 2

By kiki17 - 28/03/2016 05:03 - Australia - Perth

Today, my sister was having one of her blonde moments. she had picked up a light fruit cake, turned to me and asked, "why does it say light when its heavy?" i just had to walk away at that point. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By LaserBoob - 28/03/2016 04:47 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, I hooked up with a guy I met at a party. Things were going great until in the middle of sex he grabbed my boob, shook it viciously, and called it "a pointy laser." He even made sound effects to go with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Scienraged - 28/03/2016 04:47 - United States - Rancho Cucamonga

Today, I took a 60 question multiple choice test in a class. I got to question 60, but I saw that I ran out of space in my grid-in. That's when I realized I accidentally skipped number 8 and I bubbled in number 9 for it. I had 2 minutes left. I got an F for that test. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By PicklePuncher - 28/03/2016 04:38 - United States - Roseville

Today, I was asked by a wingman of a girl I barely know if I wanted to go to prom with said girl. This wouldn't have been much of a problem had that girl not already had a boyfriend, and if the wingman wasn't the date of mine who had forgotten that I was supposed to take her to prom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By baileybutler - 28/03/2016 04:35 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my family drove 4.5 hours to the Grand Canyon and then an additional 2.5 hours to go river rafting only to find out that it was canceled due to the wind. We still had to drive back. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By ka1up - 28/03/2016 04:24 - Australia

Today, I decided to take a nap. Woke up an hour later and must've had the most vivid sex dream ever, since my underwear had an enormous wet patch. I'm nearly 20, and haven't had a wet dream in nearly 6 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By meghanclean - 28/03/2016 04:06

Today, my ex changed the password on Netflix. This would be okay if I didn't pay the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By hbd - 28/03/2016 03:59 - United States - Huntington Station

Today, I went to a bar for my 21st birthday. There was a stabbing while I was there and now we all have to be questioned as suspects. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Why the bad timing? - 28/03/2016 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was finally alone so I took out my electric toothbrush and turned on some porn. My Dad forgot his car keys and came in just as I was about to climax. Apparently, when I "read" I make very interesting sounds. A vibrating moaning noise. FML!

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, if I'd known a few days ago when I agreed to help a friend film that it was going to be located so far away and cost so much to get there, I would have said no straight away. I won't even be reimbursed for my efforts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 224

Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish the job. Welcome to Russia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 91

Today, I was glad to find out that all the bedbugs have been eaten. Now I have a spider infestation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 624

You deserved it 965

Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 305

You deserved it 26 049

Today, while at a store, my stuttering problem became so bad the poor store clerk had to supply my own words for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 703

You deserved it 2 069

Today, my wife told me that she isn't in a place where she can have a physical relationship, that if I want us to have a physical relationship then we need to start from the bottom up, and work on building a friendship. I'm like, we've been married 15 years, and we're not even friends? FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 213

You deserved it 549