Nearly FMLs

By Still Gagging - 28/03/2016 23:41 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I finally found the source of the horrible smell in my living room. A mouse that my cat had wounded had crawled deep under my sofa to die and rot. It was crawling with maggots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 23:41 - United States - Chantilly

Today, my grandmother saw me taking something and told my dad I was taking drugs. Now, my parents are thinking about sending me to rehab and will not listen to reason. I was taking my insulin shots for my diabetes. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By rohypnol - 28/03/2016 23:21 - United States - Abington

Today, a good friend of mine came out to me as being gay. This wasn't a problem, until he started aggressively making moves on me. After rejecting him several times, it turns out he drugged my drink. My ass still hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By Itadakimassachusetts - 28/03/2016 23:14 - United States - Mclean

Today, I was zoned out in class and when my teacher noticed, I was staring directly at her boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 2

By Chikii001 - 28/03/2016 23:03 - United States - Glastonbury

Today, one of the newborn puppies my sisters dog had died. Yesterday, two of its litter mates died, one of which was supposed to be mine. The day before, the other litter mate died. Two of the puppies didn't even make it out of the womb. There's no puppies left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 23:00 - Ukraine - Kiev

Today, due to a lack of food in my apartment, even the cockroaches are getting thinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Ether, Apparently - 28/03/2016 22:56 - United States - Phoenix

Today, after spending a few hours straight working on my story, I momentarily forgot my name and introduced myself as the main character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By MyCrushWasThere - 28/03/2016 22:56 - United States - Wilson

Today, My dad gave me a gift for my birthday. He said he tried it out today to make sure it still worked. I was confronted with the unexpected: His porn from the '80s. Yes, "stains" included.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Shimashita - 28/03/2016 22:54 - United States - Alexandria

Today, I was checking my mom's email which she lets me because that's the only way i receive my grade. I promised her i wouldn't look at her emails except my grade, but when i clicked the wrong email, i saw my dad's nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 2

By emccor99 - 28/03/2016 22:46 - United States - Milpitas

Today, everyone forgot it was my birthday except the University of Arizona who sent me a picture of a birthday cake. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By greywolf19k - 28/03/2016 22:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to have a night with the guys. This is after a conversation she started last night about how important it is for me to have guy time now that she's been living with me for three weeks. Now, I'm a "selfish ass" and "we never spend time together." FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By anon - 28/03/2016 22:39 - United States - Seattle

Today, I took my girlfriend out for an expensive diner date and a movie for her birthday. we got home and she immediately got naked and went to bed. After she asked me to join her I rushed to bed expecting some intimacy. But she wouldn't even kiss me and acted half asleep every time I got close. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 22:37 - United States - Westfield

Today, I went to the doctor and apparently I've lost 5 lbs since my last visit. I told my mother who is now convinced that I have bulimia because I go to the bathroom a lot. She arranged a family intervention and is trying to make be go to rehab. I'm not bulimic, I just have a weak blatter. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 22:23 - United States - Warrington

Today, I found out I am not invited to my friend's wedding after taking off from work because she told me to save the date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By happyskittles32 - 28/03/2016 22:23 - United States

Today, after a month of struggling to sleep I finally managed to take a nap. Apparently, it was also the day my parents desided to rearrange the living room while singing 'dream on' by arosmith at the top of their lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 22:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend wanted to drive me home from work. As she starts up my car, she asks me which pedal was the gas..... we are both 25 and I drive an automatic sedan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By dilbanana - 28/03/2016 22:05 - United States - Cincinnati

Today,I was home sick. My mom let my sister take the day off too. My sister gave me a banana as part of my lunch,laughing for some reason. Later I found out she had "used" it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By :( - 28/03/2016 21:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, yet another small child came up and asked me what was wrong with my face. Nothing. I'm just ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By anon - 28/03/2016 21:36 - United Kingdom - Bradford

Today, I was dancing at a club and a hot guy started grinding on my ass. I was in the mood for some fooling around and maybe a one night stand so I turned round to kiss him but he took one look at me and said, on second thoughts you're too ugly, and moved on to another girl dancing next to me FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By almostadult - 28/03/2016 21:35 - United Kingdom - Alton

Today, it's my mother's birthday, and I'm staying at hers over Easter to celebrate. I got her the 'Call the Midwife' DVD collection as a gift. She's been watching them, very loudly, all evening. I'm lying in bed, trying to sleep, with loud screaming of labour coming downstairs. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By DucttapedAirbag - 28/03/2016 21:34 - United States - Ilion

Today, I was getting out of my boyfriend's car when the wind blew the door out of my hand denting the new silver Lincoln next to us and adding some blue paint. The repair costs $1433. I've been saving up for over a year to get an airbag and side mirror put on my car. Guess that's not happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Louimei - 28/03/2016 21:19 - United States - Cambridge

Today, it started out with a bad work day. Then, my 16 year old came home crying, confessing that she was pregnant (ultrasound proven). Finally, just as I'm about to go to bed, our dog, Spirit, begins to projectile vomit. Very long day. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By catimakittycat - 28/03/2016 21:14 - New Zealand - Waitara

Today, my boyfriend and I were having cuddles with our baby in bed when I let out a fart. When the stench reached our son's nose, he gagged and then projectile vomited across the bed and onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By mostepicusername - 28/03/2016 20:53

Today, as she was getting on the bus, a very tiny girl stepped on my toe. It's now swollen, broken, and bleeding. she was maybe 50 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By sayhisoph - 28/03/2016 20:48 - Denmark

Today, today as I was fooling around with a guy I have been seeing for 5 months called me anna. Anna is the name of his ex girlfriend ... But also the name of his mother. I'm not sure which one is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By sickofseeinghimlikethis - 28/03/2016 20:48 - Norway - Trondheim

Today, my mom and I carried all the booze in the house down into the basement, locked the door and hid the key. We are currently housing my drunk, alcoholic uncle, again. I can hear him retching in the bathroom as I type. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By meem - 28/03/2016 20:47 - Chile

Today, my girlfriend left me an told me to not talk to her again. Why? All of this happened just because our zodiac signs are incompatible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Carrotcart - 28/03/2016 20:41 - Canada - Langley

Today, I sent my dad a "Happy easter" text message and told him to give his pet bunnies extra love from me today, to which he informed me that it wasn't a happy easter and that he had to take one of his bunnies to the vet to be put down, turns out she had cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 20:35 - United States - Frisco

Today, I was talking to my friend about our bass clarinet player. I was talking about how bad he was. When I finished I turned around and got punched in the face and now have a black eye. He was behind me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 2

By fucktard - 28/03/2016 20:32 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today I woke up to a man naked, next to me asking if I wanted to go up for round two, I normally would have been flattered if this man was my husband,but he wasn't.FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 3

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The Top

Today, it's been two years since my husband promised improvements if I stayed. He abided and we're good, despite a counselor insisting it was mere narcissistic manipulation, without ever meeting him. Did I mention she also claimed it would be "empowering" for me to leave, and set "a good example" on our kids? FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 217

Today, I found out that my mom is doing a study and is keeping used pads in the freezer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 409

You deserved it 2 802

Today, I went to spend time with friends. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in my bed with several blocked contacts and text messages, saying that what I did was unacceptable. No drugs or alcohol were involved, and I have no memory of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 769

You deserved it 261

Today, my dad took me to a Yankees game at the new Yankee Stadium. During the 5th inning the camera crew put a man on the big screen. I yelled out, "Look at that ugly asshole!" It was the guy sitting 4 seats to the left of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 052

You deserved it 102 211

Today, I checked my jacket pocket for my smartphone, all while still holding my smartphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 385

Today, I was fired for the first time in my life from a job that I actually loved and was passionate about. Apparently, none of my coworkers liked me and they thought that was a good enough reason to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 088

You deserved it 683