Nearly FMLs

By Help - 30/03/2016 09:32 - Australia - Bexley

Today, my friend mistook my 2 minute chat with a male friend about hockey for flirting. I then had to listen to my friend playfully slap and giggle around him for **half an hour** to compensate for the brownie points she lost from him when I 'flirted with him'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By seanixjayde - 30/03/2016 09:20 - United States - Albany

Today, In addition to being newly single as of a few hours ago, I've also stepped in animal piss and my wallet fell in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Dammit. - 30/03/2016 09:18 - Australia - Kingsgrove

Today, a shy girl whom I'd befriended out of pity suddenly became friends with more popular girls. She then proceeded to spread rumours that I had AIDS. Now, barely anybody will talk to me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By EliMikaDucka1012 - 30/03/2016 08:20 - United States - Kent

Today, I realized that my life is so empty that I cried when I got kicked out of an online chatroom for calling a guy a cunt. Yeah, it's that bad. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By bjcrazy - 30/03/2016 07:54 - United States - Riverside

Today, my live in boyfriend told me I was crazy and that he was cheating on me. Why was I crazy? For wanting to give him a blow job. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By WendyRose93 - 30/03/2016 07:49 - United States - Eastpointe

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years breaks up with me because he doesn't know how to love. I go on Facebook and see a picture of him proposing to my sister... She said yes... I don't know who to be more mad at. Well that's four years wasted.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By stormie79 - 30/03/2016 07:45 - United States - Lorain

Today, my coach explicitly told me he hated me with all his heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 30/03/2016 07:44 - United States - Nederland

Today while hanging out with my best friend I casually looked over at him and realized I'm falling in love. That would be okay, except I didn't know I liked men and he was looking at naked chicks on his phone...FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By rxsey16 - 30/03/2016 07:16 - New Zealand - Porirua

Today, I had diarrhoea on a plane. It almost filled the whole toilet bowl. When I flushed, the violence of the flush caused diarrhoea to explode all over the entire bathroom. I tried to clean up, but nothing could fix the stains and stench I came out of the bathroom bearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 30/03/2016 06:51 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, in gymnastics class, I was working on the balance beam when I lost my balance. I landed just right which means HARD between my legs; yep, I banged my crotch. What was it like? Let's say I spent 10 minutes on the bench crying and massaging my "pal" learning that girls can hurt there too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Seabass_Chan - 30/03/2016 06:37 - Canada - London

Today, while visiting my fiancé's vegetative mother in the hospital, her ex-husband walked up to me and loudly asked, "The produce awake yet?" which started a huge fight in the middle of the hallway between him and his son. I'll be marrying into this family this fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 30/03/2016 06:25 - United States - Manchester

Today, I found out that, despite me constantly begging my boyfriend to bathe so we can be intimate together, he only bathes when I travel. Apparently upsetting me by not showering is hilariouslying entertaining and showering is boring. He is 25. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By BabyNumberThree - 30/03/2016 05:26 - United States - Naperville

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. When I told my husband over dinner, he didn't believe me and claims I cheated on him and tried pulling the divorce card. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By abigailtunick - 30/03/2016 05:04 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I was trying on wedding dresses at David's bridal. The stylist told me I should sit in it to see if it was comfortable. When I stood up, the clips came out and the dress fell to my ankles. I was in front of the window and had an audience. Oh, and I wasn't wearing a bra. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 30/03/2016 04:50 - United Kingdom - Northolt

Today, after all doctors thought I had testicular torsion and pushed me in to having the surgery to correct it. I woke up to find out that after they had done the surgery there was nothing wrong with my testicles. I now have a two inch scar, a lot of swelling and in unbearable pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By zzramz - 30/03/2016 04:45 - United States - Temecula

After four long years with being with my boyfriend, I decided it was time to loose my virginity to him. Come to find out later that my best friend beat me to it. After I slept with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By sorrygrandma - 30/03/2016 04:38 - United States - Denver

Today, I finally felt that my aging grandparents were stable enough to be left alone for a couple of hours while I treated myself to a much needed haircut. Just after I left, my mom frantically called me to tell me that my grandma had a stroke and fell down the stairs. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By CasualAdvances - 30/03/2016 04:36 - United States - Arlington

Today, I found out I am allergic to bath salt while bathing before I went on a date. Say hello to puffy dateless legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Macerocks - 30/03/2016 04:31 - United States - Luverne

Today, My girlfriend decided to have me read one of her Erotic fanfictions. Least to say I am deeply disturbed in her wellbeing, and wonder what have I gotten myself into. FMFL

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By AssassinsBlxxd - 30/03/2016 04:22 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, as I walked down the hallway in school I tripped but it wasn't bad until the money I had in my pocket fell out and someone grabbed it and ran. Bye bye $20 FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By swenny_xoxo - 30/03/2016 04:14 - Canada - Medicine Hat

Today, my 10 year old brother admitted he would have sex with me. When I told my parents, my dad said," Well, I don't blame him." While he started at my chest. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By peggie - 30/03/2016 04:03

Today, I found out that i did not sprain my ankle from stretching my leg too far in my sleep, i broke my ankle from stretching my leg too far in my sleep. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By swollen - 30/03/2016 03:58 - United States - Bloomfield

Today, I was at marching band practice with with another few dozen tired band geeks. I hadn't noticed that a bee flew into my mouthpiece SECONDS before put my lips to the trumpet. I shrieked in front of everybody and my tongue was swollen for hours...FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 30/03/2016 03:54 - United States - Carmichael

Today, my now ex-boyfriend left me because I caught him cheating. I was about to leave him but he interrupted claiming he couldn't stay with me because I was a liar. Apparently I lied when I said I loved him because if I did I would accept a mistress or two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By bad aunt - 30/03/2016 03:50 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was in the room with my brother and niece. My brother kept insisting the Pokémon cards he got from the Easter Bunny were fake, because they were rare. Frustrated, I yelled at him that mom bought them from Target, they were fine. my 6 year old niece then looks at me and asks if grandma is the Easter bunny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By anonymous - 30/03/2016 03:48 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I broke up with my now ex girlfriend. She won't leave me alone, and she's been lying to me for the past year about being dangerously sick, oh and she says she's pregnant now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By NotArtistic - 30/03/2016 03:43 - United States - Ambridge

Today, my professor sat me down in a 1 on 1 talk (because I'm a little bit behind in my work). He told me he hoped my project the next day would be good, and that he had every confidence I would pass. The day after turning it in, he wrote on the grade paper: Nevermind F. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By kevinfmls - 30/03/2016 03:38 - United States - Chevy Chase

Today, my little brother thought it would be a good idea to play with the shower switch. He managed to break it, now there are only two options to shower with until the plumber gets here, "Scorching Hot" and "Freezing Cold." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By DemonEthanol - 30/03/2016 03:32 - United States - Columbus

Today, a customer went on a rant about how rude I am. All because I corrected her when she called me "she." My nametag isn't invisible, and she was looking right at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By christinamarie10 - 30/03/2016 03:32 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, my husband and I were having sex when suddenly my cat started to lick my boobs FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 989

You deserved it 6 445

Today, I started self-harming again. My therapist keeps switching the subject when I try to bring it up, and my best friend has called me attention-seeking and selfish so many times in the past year that I’m too scared to ask for her support. I have nobody else to talk to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 340

You deserved it 263

Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close it because I'd seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 1 171

Today, I sent my fiancé a sexy picture while I was at work. I never got a response from him, so I gave him a call after a while. His 9-year-old son answered. Apparently he was getting a haircut at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 577

You deserved it 10 330

Today, I asked my sister what she thought of my boyfriend. She said, "He's nice. Deserves better than you, really." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 059

You deserved it 6 287

Today, out of the kindness of my heart, and so he wouldn't have to spend any money, I gave my ex-boyfriend my login information to my Vudu account. Big mistake. He logged me out of all devices, changed the password, and won't give me the new login information until I give him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 784