Nearly FMLs

By shewhomustnotbenamed - 30/03/2016 20:21 - Germany

Today, the love of my life moved in with the love of his life - my colleague from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Akitatude - 30/03/2016 20:04 - United States - Abilene

Today, was my Dad's funeral. Yesterday was his wake. The day before that was my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By drchinky888 - 30/03/2016 19:59 - United Kingdom

Today, my new friend at work was showing my facebook profile pic to her very hot brother at home and he said "wow your colleague is so pretty and hot" and my friend told her "no she is not like that in in reality" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 2

By sad and stressed with psychosis - 30/03/2016 19:49 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I went to an appointment I have been waiting/stressing for over a month, to deal with some mental health issues that I've had for years. The doctor I was going to see went on vacation. No one else will see me, so I have to wait for the doctor to return. I had to miss school for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Ava_Darkflame - 30/03/2016 19:47 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I was told that I sucked at playing the clarinet. My very innocent best friend attempted to make a pun and defend me, and yelled "She doesn't suck, she blows!" Everyone heard. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By hawaiiankitty - 30/03/2016 19:44 - United States - Mansfield

Today, my brother told me I was 'wrong' and 'going to hell' because I eat apples differently than him. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 30/03/2016 19:37 - United States - Evans City

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is gay. As well as my brother. Today, I saw my boyfriend and brother having sex. In my house, in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By HollyQuinn - 30/03/2016 19:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw my boyfriend's mum naked because she showers with the door open. This is not the first time that's happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By sam882 - 30/03/2016 19:27 - United States

Today, my mother accidentally sent me a nude picture. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 30/03/2016 19:24 - Vietnam - Hanoi

Today, after 3 days of constipation, I had to dig out the biggest shit of my life with a chopstick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By carly3526 - 30/03/2016 19:07 - United States - Saint Charles

Today, my husband was going to the mall. I asked him if he'd pick me up some cheap concealer since my legs were looking a little splotchy. He came back with four bottles of foundation from Chanel. It cost almost $200 and they're non returnable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 30/03/2016 19:02 - United States - Norton

Today, I realized that my best friend apparently thinks it's more important to have sex with her cousin than it is to spend time with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By sickasheck - 30/03/2016 19:00 - United States - Bronx

Today, I've been sicker than ever. More sick than I had been in a long time. My mom came into my room, accused me of faking it so I wouldn't help her with the laundry. Almost instantly after she started yelling, I threw up all over my sheets. She yelled even louder. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By JustAllTheCords - 30/03/2016 18:59 - United States - Iowa Park

Today, my rabbit chewed through my phone chord. It wouldn't be too bad if he hadn't also gotten to the laptop charger. And the Wii U. And the 3DS. Looks like I'm out of electronics for a few days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Prxncxssa - 30/03/2016 18:59 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, My sleep walking and eating has hit a new milestone. I woke up at the bottom of the stairs with an unopened Rice Krispy Treat in my mouth while hugging my dogs butt. And my dad's right shoe on my left hand. My brother woke me up with the flash of his camera. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By ripme - 30/03/2016 18:53 - New Zealand - Levin

Today, my friend who has been supporting me through an abusive break up snapchatted me. My abusive ex was inside her and they told me to go kill myself. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 30/03/2016 18:50 - United States

Today at work at a bank, I was helping a customer who was extremely engrossed in his phone. He makes the comment "She does that good, huh." and turns his phone to show me. It was porn. He then proceeded to ask me out. I'm engaged with a very prominent ring on my finger. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 30/03/2016 18:43 - United Arab Emirates

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me during sexual intercourse, because my penis "didn't look like the ones in pornos" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By BrownSeats_BrownPants - 30/03/2016 18:41 - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, the day after my new cars warranty ran out, the engine blew up. As in; a complete bonnet-removing, shit-creating bang with plumes of smoke and a rain of metal shrapnel. The dealership I bought it from won't do anything because "company policy is once the warranty ends, not our problem". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By skullover23 - 30/03/2016 18:22 - United States - Hudson

Today, at work a man threw a feather boa at me and said 'Hey look! You can be my stripper!' I then had a full blown panic attack due to past sexual abuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By audijake18 - 30/03/2016 18:18 - United States - Portage

Today, I watched 2 seasons of a show, ate a whole tub of ice cream and sat in my underwear on the couch. This would be okay if it was just a one time thing, but no. This is my daily life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 2

By anonymous819 - 30/03/2016 18:09 - United States - Havertown

Today, my family refused to meet the guy I've been dating. They said we will never get their approval because he's black and it goes against God. When I asked where in the Bible it says I can't love a black man my dad replied "it says it in the Bible I wrote." I'm so ashamed and embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By dyingofembarrassment90 - 30/03/2016 18:02 - United States - San Antonio

Today, we were discussing the Holocaust in History and we were talking about the types of people targeted. And our professor says promiscuous women. Then points to me and said I would've died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By dyingofembarrassment90 - 30/03/2016 18:02 - United States - San Antonio

Today, we were discussing the Holocaust in History and we were talking about the types of people targeted. And our professor says promiscuous women. Then points to me and said I would've died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Indebtuptomyeyeballs - 30/03/2016 17:49 - United States - Mount Pleasant

It's been five months in a row that my roommate hasn't paid her portion of the bills. She quit going months ago to the one place where she could make some money on the side, and when I confronted her about it, she said, "I just don't have the motivation to go." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By CharmedFML - 30/03/2016 17:46 - United States - Saint Petersburg

Today, I went on my first ever date. I ended up bringing her back to my place and watching a movie. My dad got home an hour later and they met. My dad, to me, started talking trash about her and saying she was a lost cause/ baggage to me and not worth it. While she was still in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Inciter - 30/03/2016 17:39

Today, my boyfriend called me to come pick him up, saying he was slightly drunk. When I got there, he was so drunk he couldn't even walk. When we got home, he started yelling, called me a stupid whore, and then passed out on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By cpvibes - 30/03/2016 17:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend locked my car doors to show an example of how to be more "mature" & "responsible". When we came back someone had smashed my windows only to find out there was nothing of value to steal.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By TisQuadWaffle - 30/03/2016 17:35 - United States - Dahlonega

Today, I found out I have strep for the second time this month 10 days before prom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 30/03/2016 17:27 - United States - Albuquerque

My boyfriend of four years, who I thought I was going to marry just told me he doesn't really want to be with me anymore but he can't afford his own place so he'll stay with me for the time being.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

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The Top

Today, my "friend" came over. I caught him trying to steal my iPod on the way out. Proud of myself for catching him, I asked him to leave, only to realize that I had forgotten to actually take the iPod back from him before he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 981

You deserved it 24 831

Today, my boss's cat died. I'm expected to attend the service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 165

You deserved it 4 520

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 534

You deserved it 11 942

Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 934

You deserved it 33 071

Today, I knew micropenises existed, I just never expected I’d see one in person after spending weeks building my anticipation of losing my virginity, getting naked in front of him, then being presented with half a cocktail sausage. Even if we had sex I think I’d still be a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 282

Today, man do I feel old. For the first time ever, a teen thug with more acne spots than brain cells told me to, “Piss off grandad.” Grandad? Guess I look older than I feel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 97