Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 29/03/2016 19:07 - United States - Everett

Today, it's my 20th birthday and my boyfriend of two and a half years broke up with me for saying thank you to happy birthday posts on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By mrandmrsanoymous - 29/03/2016 19:03 - United States

Today, I had to leave my dog in the house because it was raining. When I got home I discovered that he trapped himself in my bedroom, shat on the floor, and ran laps around the room tracking and spraying shit everywhere - including the cieling. He also knocked a head-shaped hole in the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By mrandmrsanoymous - 29/03/2016 18:46 - United States - Pearcy

Today, in a public restroom, the person in the stall next to mine was taking a very loud dump. He put his hand on the stall wall between us to brace himself and it came unhinged and fell on me, knocking me momentarily unconscious. When I came to, he was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 29/03/2016 18:22 - United States - Ocala

Today, I was in the bathroom watching some porn until someone turned on the beats pill which I was lastly connected to, it then reconnected and started blaring what I was watching in front of my whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 2

By wow - 29/03/2016 18:14 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, my father left me alone at the hospital for 10 hours after I tried to kill myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Can't hold it - 29/03/2016 18:11 - United States

Today, I found out that my 15 year old daughter is pregnant, apparently her boyfriend said he could,"Hold it in" FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By catdog414 - 29/03/2016 18:02 - United States - Richland

Today, I had to say the phrase "Get your foot out of my pants!" while on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 29/03/2016 18:02 - United States - Fremont

today the guy who robbed my house left my laptop on my doorstep with the note "im desperate but not enough to use this piece of shit." FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By confused - 29/03/2016 18:01 - United States

Today, while wiping my 3 year olds butt, I guess some poop fell on the floor and he proceeded to pick it up and squash it with fingers asking if it was poop and then wiped it on my pants to get it off once he realized it was poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 29/03/2016 17:59 - United States - San Marcos

Today, I was changing in my room and had told everyone not to come in since my door lock has been broken for weeks, as I took off my bra my little brother came in and my mom blamed me FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By shatteredglass58 - 29/03/2016 17:36 - United States - Garland

Today, I got new car tires only to unknowingly run over some nails near a construction site. I now have two flat tires. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Mikey9922 - 29/03/2016 17:35 - United States - Omaha

Today, I woke up with my eye matted shut. Not only am I sick and have pink eye, but I am also shitting my brains out and I'm also on my period.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By ZombieScoobyDoo - 29/03/2016 17:34 - United States - Ruston

Today, I finally got my car running after it's been broken down at the softball field for a month. My rear windshield got smashed in the first night at my house. It lasted a month at the softball field but got smashed the first night away from it. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By The_Avatar - 29/03/2016 17:26 - United States - Glen Burnie

Today, i walked outside to start my day and had taken no more than a step out of the door when a golf ball smashed into my face. I now have a black eye. I dont even live by a golf course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 29/03/2016 16:58 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, about 2 months after booking a £200 holiday, I went to book the train tickets. They cost £300 and I currently have £80 to my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By wtfbroidfwy - 29/03/2016 16:51 - United States - San Francisco

This morning, I was so tired I tried to brush my teeth with hand soap, i've been trying to get the taste out of mouth for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By S A D B O Y S - 29/03/2016 16:50 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, I helped move some furniture back into my house after my dad moved in, my mom promised a reward for doing it which was nice, little did I know the reward was grounding me for not showering at a certain time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By CobaltMMs - 29/03/2016 16:48 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got stuck in an elevator because the power went out... On the 62nd floor with no help... FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By mrandmrsanoymous - 29/03/2016 16:45 - United States

Today, after 2 years, I tried to break up with my abusive ex boyfriend. To my breakup he replied, "you can't leave me, I poked holes in all the condoms, you're pregnant with my seed." He then poked me roughly in the stomach. That night I took a pregnancy test, he was right.

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By anthonydpalm - 29/03/2016 16:43 - United States - Newark

Today, I was ecstatic to have received an e-mail from Villanova offering me admission this coming fall. After an hour freaking out with my mom and attempting to accept my spot, I received a second e-mail in regards to the first that read: "This was sent to you by mistake. We apologize." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By poopy academic - 29/03/2016 16:40 - United States - Amherst

Today, it's the day before my senior thesis draft is due. I've been panicking over it not being good enough, so I took the day off worked and skipped my class so I could spend the eleventh hour polishing it up. But instead of working, I've spent today on and off the toilet with stress diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Ginwa - 29/03/2016 16:40 - United States - Marksville

Today, I told my dad I was pregnant, hoping this would be the first time he actually supported me in my life. He was more interested in knowing why I let this happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 29/03/2016 16:33 - United States - Bedford

Today my girlfriend confessed that she cheated on me, i wouldn't be so upset if she didn't want the present she gave me for valentines day (my xbox one) so she could give it to the guy she cheated with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Tiffr007 - 29/03/2016 16:30 - United States - Seattle

Today, I got mom-zoned by the girl I have the biggest crush on. We are the same age. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 29/03/2016 16:30 - Canada - Welland

Today, I am going to miss 2 job interviews because I've been up all night becasue I got some sort of stomach bug. My mother refused to unlock the medicine cabinet so I could take something to treat it. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By jughead18 - 29/03/2016 16:30 - United States - Houston

Today, I took my gf to the ranch I work at. While driving down a road I saw a turtle trying to cross to a pond. I picked him up to bring him to the water, and the thing took a massive leak, all over me. Not only was I forced to let my gf drive, she informed me of no sex for at least a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 29/03/2016 16:28 - United States - New York

Today, I had to leave my dog inside because it was raining. When I came home he had trapped himself in a room, shit all over the floor, and ran back and forth across his shit in laps around the room, peeing all the way. I had to wash shit spray off of the cieling. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By IndridCold - 29/03/2016 16:14 - United Kingdom - Sutton Coldfield

Today, the plumber fixed the plumbing problem that appeared two days ago, getting mud and grime all over the bathroom floor in the process. Four days ago I spent a long time cleaning the bathroom and was proud of myself for how nice it looked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Angeuh - 29/03/2016 16:13 - Belgium - Brussels

Today my car broke down. At 50 m from a garage. The garage I just left after my car maintenance and periodic motor vehicle inspection. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 29/03/2016 16:13 - United States

Today, I was at the airport with my family. As we went through security, the agent giving a pat down stared at me for about 5 seconds before saying, "you're a little girl, right?". It would have been awkward enough had I not been a 17 year old boy.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, while on holiday in Melbourne, I begged my wife to take a day off from yelling angrily at our 4 year-old. A few hours later, she was cursing and yelling in front of gathering onlookers because he didn't want to go inside LegoLand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 182

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 622

You deserved it 35 213

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 956

You deserved it 23 231

Today, I spent three hours cleaning my apartment for a date. I then took a nap, only to wake up to find my cat had destroyed the place. Lucky for me, my date never showed up, and I ended the evening drinking Prosecco while sadly swiping through Tinder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 895

You deserved it 166

Today, while talking about my plans for college, I was interrupted so my family could discuss my brother's zit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 486

You deserved it 3 160

Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 547

You deserved it 3 377