Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 31/03/2016 03:21 - United States - Saint Petersburg

Today, my ex told me that although she still loves me and isn't over me, she "can't be in a relationship right now". Today I also found out that she's already seeing someone else. We broke up last week, after dating for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By klm - 31/03/2016 03:19 - United States - La Crescenta

I fought with my boss and quit my job. Today I went to an interview. It looked great until my interviewer's assistant knocked on the door: "Your appointment with Mr. X is in 5 minutes". X is my old boss. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Dorminion - 31/03/2016 03:19 - United States - Belton

Today, I walked into class exhausted from the all-nighter I pulled last night to finish a essay due today that if I didn't have done I couldn't graduate. I left my essay at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Bloody Mary - 31/03/2016 03:07 - Australia

Today, I tried on a beautiful dress at a very expensive store. At that moment my body desided to make me period all over the back of it. I had to hide it in the back of the store. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 31/03/2016 03:04 - United States - Nanuet

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant after missing my period. Only, I was declared infertile by my doctor barely 2 weeks ago. And as far as he can tell, I'm still infertile. He has no explanation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By brain bleach, please, they're old - 31/03/2016 02:54 - United States - Midland

Today, I was with my mom and two aunts. They were looking at 'buy now, pay later' magazines and they gathered around 1. 'It's been so long,' 'Hey, Mary, you should get one of these,' and 'I have a few of those,' were said. They were talking about dildos. They laughed at my red face. I'm only 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By jerseygirl94 - 31/03/2016 02:54 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was groped and walked in on while I was using the bathroom by kids at my place of work. This is not the first time either things have happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By nicole1714 - 31/03/2016 02:46 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I overhead my mom asking my dad when he's was going to tell me about his 2 other children I asked him about it and apparently my whole family knew but they didn't want to tell me cause I was to young. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Somebody_Different - 31/03/2016 02:40 - United States - Aberdeen

Today, I was writing a very descriptive fan-fiction of my favorite characters in class. I got so distracted that by the end of the period I accidentally gave my teacher the fan-fiction instead of the assigned work. Now I don't want to go back to school tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By shedidnthaveinsurance - 31/03/2016 02:39 - United States - Camarillo

Today, as I was stopped at a red light the car behind me got rear ended, causing the car behind me to rear end me. The lady that rear ended the car behind me got out and yelled, "Why the hell is everyone stopped?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By sad canadian - 31/03/2016 02:30 - United States - Waterloo

Today, I told a kid that I was Canadian. He then asked if I drank maple syrup. After saying no, he kicked me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By not interested - 31/03/2016 02:30 - United States - Peoria

Today, I realized that the guy I work with that has a crush on me will never realize I'm not interested. Over 20 texts with no reply and he still thinks I'll go out with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Nick - 31/03/2016 02:26 - United States - Haverford

Today, my little sister, who is 5, caught sight of a dead bird near our house on a walk. She started poking it with a stick until all the maggots started falling out of the bird's sad little body. I told her not to do that and she calmly responded that she was just practicing for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By SyKePatriot - 31/03/2016 02:24 - French Polynesia - Papeete

Today,by mother grounded me for a month because my little brother was crying. The reason he was crying, was because I wouldn't let him kick me off the deck of our house into the lake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 31/03/2016 02:18 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I'm at the airport waiting for my 11 hour international flight that boards in 4 hours. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my upset stomach and needing to go to the restroom every 15 min. Also can't seem to find any stomach medicine at this airport. This is going to be a long flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By abusive turtle - 31/03/2016 02:17 - United States - Hialeah

Today, I found out that the reason my son got detention in his reading class was not because he forgot to do his homework like he told me, but because of "consistent lying". Looks like he didn't learn from that detention. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By I'm just a poor boy - 31/03/2016 02:16 - United States - Bryn Mawr

Today, I learned that I can't afford to eat where I work at, even with the employee discount. I work at a Wendy's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By fluffahtoast - 31/03/2016 02:06 - United States - Tempe

Today, I found out that I'm being kicked out a week after I graduate high-school. I found out from my mom, instead of my dad who I live with. Thanks for the graduation present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 31/03/2016 01:55 - Myanmar

Today, in health class, instead of saying "my mom juices her own juice" I said "my mom juices her own milk." The whole class erupted in laughter for a good 7 minutes. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 31/03/2016 01:53 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my dad told me that he had an affair on my mom and I have a little sister and a littler brother FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By whowouldknow123 - 31/03/2016 01:27 - United States - Woodruff

Today, I have been helping out a close friend of mine over his ex girlfriend. He has hinted he likes someone new, I have been feeling wonderful because I know he's going to say it's me and we will finally be together. It wasn't me, it was my best friend. I have had a crush on him for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Conerd - 31/03/2016 01:26 - United States - Escondido

Today, at my in law's dinner part we were discussing views on the upcoming election. I compared Trump's campaigning strategies and outlooks to the Nazi's rise of power, to which my wife's mother replied "Hitler did many great things for society!" I'm Jewish. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By justdiebitches - 31/03/2016 01:26 - Chile - Santiago

Today, my boyfriend rejected sex because I would then get stressed about not studying and blame him for it. This actually sounds like something I would say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By ThatOneGirl99 - 31/03/2016 01:26 - United States - Lima

Today, I've been taking birth control for a week now to help with acne and bad period cramps. Instead, I now have worse acne that lasts twice as long and have started a new period only two weeks after my last one. It could be a year before my system regulates to these pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By rachgirl6 - 31/03/2016 01:25 - Australia - Collingwood

Today, while I was trying on shoes, my BF thought it'd better if he cut the cable tie joining the shoes so I could try walking in them. Before I could protest he cut it off and also sliced half of my leg. Because I bleeding on the shoes and everywhere on the floor, I had to buy them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 31/03/2016 01:12 - United States - San Francisco

So I'm going to Florida for two weeks for spring break and this is the last night with my boyfriend until I get back. Right after sex he started to rub his armpit, butt, and feet all over my body saying he's rubbing his scent on me so other guys stay away...FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 31/03/2016 01:00 - United States - Park Ridge

Today, a new guy I met said he was gay and then asked me out. I'm not male. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Unlucky - 31/03/2016 00:47 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I finally got to do an interview over the phone for a job I've been looking into for a long time and halfway through the interview my phone died, but my phone said it still had 84% battery charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Therapist - 31/03/2016 00:41 - United States - Beeville

Today I saw a former patient of mine on the news, getting his brains blown out by the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By The_Real_Wings - 31/03/2016 00:22 - United States - Mission Viejo

Today I me and my wife decided we would have sex for the first time in a while, went to go get a condom and discovered it was empty. This mean either my wife is cheating on my or my 5 year old son is already having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to sleep at 7am. I learned once that Indians used to drink tons of water before bed to force themselves awake so I did that in case my alarm (which I hooked up to my speakers) didn't work. The alarm worked, but the shock of the blasting sound made me pee my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 141

You deserved it 3 180

Today, I discovered something more dangerous than drivers who text: drivers who break your car windows with a bat while stopped at a red light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 605

You deserved it 2 209

Today, I walked into Best Buy to buy a 42" widescreen TV I'd been saving up for many months. As I walked in, a man stopped me and handed me my wallet that I'd accidentally dropped. I thanked him. Five minutes later at the checkout, I opened up my wallet to realize it was empty. He had stolen everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 986

You deserved it 12 077

Today, my hand is covered in blisters because my boyfriend thought it would be fun to set an old insurance card on fire. Out of panic, he slapped the card against the wall in a failed attempt to put it out. Also out of panic, I slapped the flaming wall with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 013

You deserved it 2 047

Today my brother disconnected my internet and made my task bar disappear. I spent 2 hours trying to fix it, when I figured out I just had to restart the computer. Now I'm a little behind on assignments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 312

Today, my husband shaved off his beard. Turns out he looks like my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 320

You deserved it 5 151