Nearly FMLs

By LadyGamble420 - 31/03/2016 22:35 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a customer threatened my life because her monthly bill went up by $5 without any notice. I guess the 3 months of notices on her bill wasn't enough. I didn't realize my life was worth so little. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 31/03/2016 22:31 - Netherlands - Leiden

Today, my mother showed me an ad for a dog needing a home, excitedly I asked her if I'd get a dog, which I've been dreaming of for a while. She replied: "No, I'm not even sure why I'm showing you.". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 31/03/2016 22:15 - United States - Twin Falls

Today, while I was sleeping, my mom decided it would be a good idea to walk up to my bed, grab me, and shout my name to wake me up. After I yelped in fright and woke up, she stared at me a moment before asking if I was awake. All of this just to ask if I wanted to join her and my dad for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By TheRealZodiacKiller - 31/03/2016 22:11 - United States

Today, my younger sister spent hours trying to convince me that Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By thatshannah865 - 31/03/2016 22:06 - United States - Douglasville

Today, my boyfriend and I were leaving Easter brunch at my grandparents to go to his grandparents. We stopped at his house on the way and I suggested we have a quickie while we were there and alone. He said yes at first then asked if we could clean up his room a bit instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By FML - 31/03/2016 21:59 - United States - Sheridan

Today, I woke up with a 101 fever and the moment I tried to get out of bed I tripped fell and broke my left wrist and my right arm... I live alone. I now have the flu and no way to take care of myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By faxingfollies - 31/03/2016 21:50 - United States - Buffalo Grove

Today, I used the new copy machine at work and found instructions for operating the new voice activated features helpfully posted nearby. After loudly commanding it to "start copying" several times, and receiving bemused looks from coworkers, I realized I'd been had by the office prankster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Erebos_ - 31/03/2016 21:41 - United States - Choctaw

Today, I had to take the ACT with strep throat and I couldn't cough or else I would invalidate all of the tests in the room. "Why did you go if you had strep?" you might ask, well I don't have the $75 to retake it later. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By potogold - 31/03/2016 21:35 - United States - Buffalo Grove

Today, I realized with horror that the congealed substance I had idly scraped off a button on the communal copy machine was, in fact, a booger. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 31/03/2016 21:35 - United Kingdom - London

Today my best friend whom I grow up with and were like twins, didn't visit me in hospital. To top it off, I'm not in his wedding. Apparently we're no longer friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By GreenShelves - 31/03/2016 21:33 - United States - Lynchburg

Today, I found out that my boss finally decided who would get the promotion I'd had my eye on since I first started with the company four years ago. He picked the guy that's been working with us for less than eight months. So much for all the extra hours I've been working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By markiespice - 31/03/2016 21:31 - Australia - Kensington

Today, at work I waited for ages for my laptop to start, looking at the black screen I started thinking ''great, there's something wrong', about 7 minutes later and about to call IT, I realised I hadn't switched it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By wellthen - 31/03/2016 21:26 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I poured my heart out to my long distance boyfriend & told him I felt like I was being replaced by another girl. His response? He's oh so "depressed" and she's a PHYSICAL shoulder to cry on. Gee, thanks for ignoring my feelings & replacing them with your own drama. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By J215B - 31/03/2016 21:15 - United States - Bloomingburg

Today, after waiting on pins and needles for months I finally heard back from my first choice college. I didn't get in. My mom laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By djdiso - 31/03/2016 21:10 - United States - Chico

Today, my friend set me up with her boyfriends super cute friend who said he was into me. We all went out to a bar together where he ended up getting shitfaced, completely ignoring me, and eventually going home with another random cute blonde. Good to know I'm his type. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By horrifiedchild - 31/03/2016 21:08 - United States

Today, I learned the reason motorcycles are called crotchrockets when an elderly man zoomed past me wearing nothing but a sagging speedo. I'll never get that out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 31/03/2016 20:57

Today I was food shopping and sneezed so hard that I smacked my head on one of the shelves knocking myself out fml

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By roblbers - 31/03/2016 20:54 - Brazil - Ribeir?o Pr?to

Today, I had sex for the first time. Because of the fact that it was my first time, I ended up bleeding. The guy asked me if I was on my period. While we were having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 31/03/2016 20:49 - United States - Big Rapids

Today, before the biggest exam by far this semester my roommate decided to stay up until 4am blasting Pirates of the Caribbean, long story short I'm not only exhausted but am positive I failed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By AreYouSerious? - 31/03/2016 20:47 - United States - Houston

Today, I got blocked on snapchat by my crush because my "friend" told him I was a stalker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By ewwww. - 31/03/2016 20:34 - United States

Today, I was about to put toothpaste on my toothbrush when I noticed something stuck in the bristles. I pulled a long, black pube out of my toothbrush. I live alone and have no idea how it got there. I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Onigori - 31/03/2016 20:25 - United States - Chicago

Today, I pulled out a piece of gum from the pack I had in my pocket. Stuck to the wrapper was a hair. I looked closer to find it was a blonde pube. My hair is dark brown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By carly3526 - 31/03/2016 20:23 - United States - O Fallon

Today, my husband went to the mall. I asked him if he could pick me up a few of the little tubes of concealer because my legs had bruises on them. He came back with four bottles of Chanel foundation. It was almost $200. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By annoyed - 31/03/2016 20:13 - United States - New York

Today I woke up bright and early to for a Skype interview for a summer teaching job. The person interviewing me never showed up and never notified me that they were cancelling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By KingCorp. - 31/03/2016 20:11 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, after learning of the existence of this website I spent almost 2 hours reading all the hilarious posts that I forgot to study for both my finals. I failed them both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 2

By Poor Kid - 31/03/2016 20:04 - Peru - Lima

Today, I found out that the two people who sat next to me at work for three months had been messaging each other on their computers, making fun about me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By capnbzarr - 31/03/2016 20:01 - United States - Portland

Today, the parts I ordered to upgrade my bike arrived--the same bike that had its frame break apart on my ride home yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By tmx - 31/03/2016 19:59 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, things between me and my boyfriend were getting heated. I was about to go down on him when his phone rang. He jumped out of bed and kneed me in the face.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By SadExPetOwner - 31/03/2016 19:55 - United States - Anchorage

Today, after my first dog passed away on Monday, I found out me second dog has a cancerous tumor in his stomach and won't survive the surgery. His core temperature is to cold to live and the vet recommended I put him down. I lost both my dogs in a single week.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By redface - 31/03/2016 19:48 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today during my free period where I volunteer to help teach a child with learning difficulties I was working with him in a room alone. After a while I noticed he was touching and rubbing himself under the table. I'm 17 and he's 13, somehow I feel like I've molested him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum because I asked him to put away the leftovers from dinner. Yeah, because I guess me going to the grocery store, then preparing and serving the food AFTER working a 10 hour day wasn’t enough. Thanks babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 132

Today, my mom went on a rant about how insulin and other diabetic medications are evil western poisons, and that she can control her condition naturally on her own. That would be great, if she actually ate right and exercised instead of just using meditation to “think” herself healthy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 79

Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 216

You deserved it 6 638

Today, my boyfriend was really stressed about a guy he works with being a jerk. I told him, "If you ignore something long enough, it won't bother you anymore." His response was, "I've ignored my herpes for a long time but it still bothers me." We've been having sex for 3 months now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140 402

You deserved it 22 800

Today, I had a date with a guy I’ve known casually for a few weeks. Everything was OK, until he asked me to come back to his place because he had something “to share with me.” Apparently, he’s double jointed, because his mouth reaches below his waist. He even finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 197

You deserved it 213

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 858

You deserved it 6 491