Nearly FMLs

By KallieB00 - 06/04/2016 03:26 - United States - League City

Today, I found out I had cancer. That was until the doctor came back and apologized profusely. Apparently, a girl with the same name as me, at the same hospital, has cancer. I just have pneumonia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By militarybrat - 06/04/2016 03:25 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, well two days ago, I slammed my hand in the door. My middle finger to be honest. It is pretty much a confirm fracture so I have it in a brace. My lovely two year old keeps going "owie" then squishes it to hell. I'm in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By WrongButton - 06/04/2016 03:13 - United States - Binghamton

Today, upon finding a pic I seemed quite hilarious on iFunny, I rushed to kik to send the picture to my kik group containing my closest friends. A picture of my penis I had forgotten to delete was accidentally tapped, and I hit send before realizing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By person - 06/04/2016 02:57 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I woke up to a loud banging noise I went to check it out it was my crazy ex-girlfriend trying to get in from the air vent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By taylorswitf - 06/04/2016 02:56 - United States - Midland

Today, I arrived at a mandatory testing site. One of the requirements includes a photo ID. Guess who left their wallet at home? There's no way to make it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 02:51 - United States - Trenton

Today, I found out that despite being "felt up" by a male class mate, my school blames me for my "provocative clothing. Apparently jeans and a flannel is an excuse for male students to sexually asult me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 02:40 - United States - Wasilla

Today, after two years of job hunting with zero luck, I finally got a preliminary interview for a job that I desperately want. The interview went well, and I told my dad. He told me not to take the job, because it's in LA, and LA "is full of black people and Mexicans". Apparently dad's a racist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By SummerDeAnn23 - 06/04/2016 02:40 - United States

Today, I was kissing my boyfriend when my tongue ring got caught on his. In terrible pain, I tried sticking my finger in the midst of our tongues to fix the problem when my boyfriend decided to bite down.... on my finger. Went to the hospital to get it checked, walked out with stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By CatBlk - 06/04/2016 02:26 - United States - Forsyth

Today my town voted for mayor. I'm currently an alderman so I have to work closely with whoever wins. When my husband voted, the guy he doesn't like offered him a donut. My hubs said, and I quote, "If I come over there I'm going to shove that donut up your ass." Guess who our new mayor is... FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By NewJoker755 - 06/04/2016 02:24 - United States - Quincy

Today, while packing up for a trip I had packed lotion, forgetting to put a plastic bag. When I got to my destination the lotion exploded all over my extra underwear and shirts. Now I need to find somewhere to buy more shirts and underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By nebulaphobiac - 06/04/2016 01:57 - United States

Today, I spent an hour recording and over 3 hours editing a video I planned to upload to my YouTube only to find that when I exited my editing application on my laptop, the file didn't save properly and I lost more than half of my work. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Creeper - 06/04/2016 01:56 - United States - New Britain

Today, I found my ex boyfriend hiding behind my shower curtains. He must of been taking pictures, because his camera shutter went off while trying to take pictures of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By kimpossible1 - 06/04/2016 01:45 - Cayman Islands - George Town

Today my girlfriend asked me to send her the nudes I took of us on my phone. She later then told me she haven't received the pics. Turned out my mom received them and well,lets just say whatsapp shoved me out the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By MallowMistress - 06/04/2016 01:43 - United States - Bartlesville

Today, my mom continuously pointed out how I was one of those pregnant people without morning sickness... The more she said that, the more I started gagging. Now I can't eat breakfast or dinner without vomiting. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By WhatCrawledUpHerButtAndDied? - 06/04/2016 01:43 - United States - Miami Beach

Today, while returning something at my local Walmart, I accidentally inserted my credit card into the machine. The cashier, noticing my mistake, literally decided to bitch me out because I inserted my credit card and she never told me to do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By wouch - 06/04/2016 01:41 - United States

Today, I learned that the only girl I have a "more than just friends" relationship with and am starting to fall for is already in a relationship — with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Fmlreadermostly - 06/04/2016 01:35 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I was mopping the kitchen. My dog decides to run in at top speed. Not only did I get a bucket of water on the floor, I also had my blood mixed in with it. Thanks for the hospital trip. Who's not a good boy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By HellsPrincess - 06/04/2016 01:34 - United States - Groveland

Today, I took a picture of my cat. I handed my phone to my mom to show her and the first thing she did was slide right to reveal a nude I took of my boyfriend FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By ratchetdavo - 06/04/2016 01:34 - United States - Anderson

Today, I sent a snapchat video of me scratching my balls (I had boxers on) to my best friend as a joke. Only problem is that I accidentally sent it to the girl I was talking too. We are no longer talking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 2

By sick - 06/04/2016 01:32 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I took a pill to help with my migraine. I didn't realize a side effect was drowsiness, until I took one. Now, since I'm tired, my migraine is even worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Cligg - 06/04/2016 01:31 - United States - Seattle

Today, I had to pick up a used condom that had the color red on it in the parking lot where I work. The only thing that I hope explains that would be the opened ketchup package that my boss made me clean up with it because he was too grossed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Slugfest - 06/04/2016 01:27 - United States - Bastrop

Today, My wife thought it was ok to sell my PS3 with all my games to buy me a PS4. I have had the PS3 for over 9 years it would have been ok if there wasn't alot sentimental value to it. My wife feels that she did something good but when I told her that it wasn't she said "well to bad so sad" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By eMeM - 06/04/2016 01:20 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I was finally ready to face my boss and ask him some very important questions. I had been rehearsing my speech from last night - I googled and stared at a pair of eyes to practice eye contact and speech simultaneously. It ended as I thought it would. With me having a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By HeThoughtIWasPlayin - 06/04/2016 01:12 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, my car refused to start in a parking lot. After trying for an hour, I finally called a friend to drive me home. Once home, my father scolded me for carelessly leaving my car in the lot overnight. When we drove back to my car, my dad put the keys in the ignition and it started perfectly. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 01:12 - United States

Today, after being sent home sick from work early, my boss calls to tell me that I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Swandive235 - 06/04/2016 01:10 - United States - Broomfield

Today, I woke up with an extremely painful leg cramp. When I tried to get up to go to the bathroom, I crashed. My dad came in and the only thing he said was "Stop being a bitch and suck it up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By FreeWeekendSchedule - 06/04/2016 01:08 - United States

Today, I seen a new relationship status pop up on my Facebook news feed, and tagged was a guy I knew very well. I guess I spent the last three months texting him for nothing, and he will not be taking me to the movies on Saturday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By BlueSteele220 - 06/04/2016 01:06 - United States - Keller

Today, my drunk roommate broke my glasses. when I called the police, they told me that we could both go to jail for assault even though I never touched her. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Why - 06/04/2016 00:58 - United States - Winchester

Today, my car was stolen. After calling the police and searching everywhere, my sister pulled in in MY car, saying she needed it for her to go visit her boyfriend. She's 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By anonymous - 06/04/2016 00:48 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I spent all day covering my supervisor while she was on personal calls. At the end of the day, she proceeded to drop all of her work on my desk and told me to stay until it was done. I left 5 hours late.... FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 100

You deserved it 2 923

Today, I took my ten year-old sister out for a walk. We passed a hen party in town, and she asked out loud in the street, "Why are men’s stag parties not called cock parties?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 118

Today, my mom's friend came over. She brought her son and claimed that we could have bonding time. I ended up chasing the five-year-old around the house for an hour. After they'd left, my mom saw that the little kid had broken a lamp and a clock. She then said I had to pay for it using my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 955

You deserved it 272

Today, I got a call from my younger brother's school to pick him up immediately. He had a test today, but he had the brilliant idea that by telling everyone he had head lice, he could go home. I had to leave work to pick him up, and now I have to take him to a doctor so they can see if he can go back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 068

You deserved it 2 533

Today, I was getting up from sitting on the floor. I lent on the coffee table to help support my weight and heard a pop. I'd bruised the tendons in my wrist and now have to wear a wrist guard for 6 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 173

Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 74