Nearly FMLs

By merchant2313 - 09/04/2016 02:55 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boyfriend left me for my sister. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By ChrisSixx - 09/04/2016 02:47 - Canada - St. John's

Today, My girlfriend dumped me because "You like me too much". We have been dating for about seven months now and she is by far the clingier out of the two of us, even getting sad on the days when I am unavailable to see her. I'm still devastated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Sad Dentist - 09/04/2016 02:43 - Australia - Mawson

Today, I called work to ask what time I was meant to see my first patient tomorrow. The receptionist sounded surprised, and told me I was on leave. I spoke to my boss; apparently some staffing issues meant they couldn't get me an assistant. I am now on "leave". Indefinitely. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By GameOps - 09/04/2016 02:33 - United States - Irving

Today, I finally finished writing out the music for the whole Star Wars film for a major music school assignment. After I pushed the save button, the sheer size of the file caused my computer to crash, and I lost the whole thing despite having saved it before. The assignment's due tonight. FMl

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By screamkid - 09/04/2016 02:26 - United States - Ashburn

Today, I was at the mall with some friends. I had really bad gas due to a bad burger prior to, and I had to let out a particularly big fart. I didn't see anyone around, so I let loose. Right as three guys I have in my regular classes walked by. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 09/04/2016 02:25 - Canada - Port Alberni

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head and just as I was about to cum, she looks me in the eyes and says, "This is D-licious." Needless to say, I didn't finish...FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 09/04/2016 02:16 - United States

Today I saw every one of my family members from all over the world at my sisters wedding. They all showed up with barely a months notice. They were all very surprised to find out that I was also married and asked if I had eloped. I gave them all a six month notice to my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 09/04/2016 02:15 - United States - Wylie

Today, I came home early to my husband in bed with another woman. When I asked who the hell she was, he said, "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By greywolf19k - 09/04/2016 02:07 - United States - Havelock

Today, I had to get up in the middle of class and excuse myself because I had unexpectedly bled quite a bit through the seat and groin of my jeans. And no, it wasn't my period. I'm a guy. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By nice2 - 09/04/2016 02:03 - Philippines - Poblacion

Today, my friend, whom I have a big crush on, invited me to go drinking - just the two of us. I took this a sign that she's interested in me as well. An hour into the drinking session, she starts talking about about her current fuckbuddy in great detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 09/04/2016 01:39 - United States - Beachwood

Today I got a stern talking to from my parents. Not for having a boy over with nobody home, but for not explicitly asking permission to walk down the street to my female friend's house. Now I'm grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By jeb17 - 09/04/2016 01:39 - United States - Mechanicsburg

Today, all of my hard work finally paid off. After over a year of training harder than I ever have before and pushing myself to new limits, I made it to the finals for my track team. On my way home from the recognition ceremony, I tripped down a single step and broke my ankle. The race is tomorrow.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By annikatariina - 09/04/2016 01:30 - United States - Rancho Palos Verdes

Today, I received antibiotics that have a side effect of headaches. This would be okay, if the reason I went to the doctor in the first place wasn't because of my continuous migraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By HarleyQueen - 09/04/2016 01:23 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my very old and problematic car finally was on her last leg and blew up on me. when I told my parents of the situation they told me they weren't going to help me because they don't trust me. I don't have the money for a new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By chelseaclaire - 09/04/2016 01:21 - United States - Riverside

Today, I realized that I've gained so much weight that my fat jeans have now become my skinny jeans. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By nosleepforme - 09/04/2016 01:19 - United States - Cypress

Today, I decided that I would soak in the tub to help with my headache. All I can hear outside the door is my roommates cats screaming at me. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Howdoucall - 09/04/2016 00:41 - United States

Today, while finally getting out of rehab for a morphine addiction from an accident, I was hit by a truck. the doctors gave me morphine and re-sparked my addiction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 09/04/2016 00:36 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I received the following mail: a few sympathy cards on the death of my newborn daughter. Her social security card and death certificate. A $422 bill for her MRI. Also a note from my caseworker informing me that she is eligible for Medicaid coverage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 0

By scared shitlessss - 09/04/2016 00:36 - Canada - Belleville

Today, I woke up to the sound of my toilet flushing. All would be fine if I didn't live alone. I'm too scared to go to sleep anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By pastelblack - 09/04/2016 00:32 - United States - Miami

Today, after almost 4 weeks of my mom being in the hospital from having a stroke, this girl ,who I'm not good friends with, calls me asking how my mom is doing. She was the only one. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By hurtfeet - 08/04/2016 23:46 - United States

Today, some creep was hitting on my mom. I assume that due to our different skin tones, he had accused me of being her boyfriend. I of course had to inform him that I am in fact her homosexual, 16 year old, son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Bawsack - 08/04/2016 23:16 - United Kingdom

Today, a kid at work told me she felt sick. She makes up being ill all the time so I didn't believe her. She felt sick alright. All over my head and back while I was tying her shoes. I can't go home or shower until the next girl comes in. The kid feels much better and wants ice cream. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By allergic to cuteness - 08/04/2016 22:57 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my girlfriend of two years decided to bring two puppies into the house after she went to the city. an adorable miniature dash hound and a super fluffy Pomeranian. She makes me sleep on the couch because im allergic to them and she doesnt want them to sleep in a kennel all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By beyond pitiful - 08/04/2016 22:57 - United States - New Carlisle

Today, my three month old son decided to puke into my mouth while I was holding him face to face with me. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By random - 08/04/2016 22:57 - United States

Today, I found out that my grandpa I haven't seen in two years is dying, my whole family has known for months he had lung cancer and never told me.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By kumagoro4ever - 08/04/2016 22:56 - United States - Vashon

Today, I went for a walk/jog. I stopped long enough to take a video of a newborn calf stand for the first time but I ended up with video of myself passing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By zzramz - 08/04/2016 22:52 - United States - Temecula

Today, I went to a nail salon to get a pedicure. As soon as my feet touched the warm water I pissed my pants.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Peeved Peach - 08/04/2016 22:49 - United States - Aurora

Today, I am babysitting my friend's two month old little girl who has very and colic. Trying to help her work out the gas, by lifting her legs, I accidentally forced a column of poo out of her at a velocity I didn't know possible mid diaper change, which shot straight into my cleavage. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 08/04/2016 22:44 - United States - Rutherford

Today was my only day off from work this week. I've been glued to the toilet all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 08/04/2016 22:39 - United States - Houston

Today, I got to stand and be harrassed by a stranger while watching my boyfriend dance with his psycho ex for the only slow dance of the night. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend snuck out of my room so he could have sex with my mom in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 859

You deserved it 187

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turdwaffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 420

You deserved it 3 457

Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 471

You deserved it 2 933

Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 175

You deserved it 3 667

Today, I called my boyfriend. He answered with, "Hey, I'll call you back when this goes to commercial." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 507

Today, somebody in a store was talking about a girl who had a snake, and while I was walking out the store, an old lady asked me if I was the girl with the snake. I said no, to which she replied, "Oh, because you look like someone who would." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 441

You deserved it 265