Nearly FMLs

By tyyos - 12/04/2016 04:41 - United States - Lexington

Today, I found out that my best friend and the girl I'm in love with started dating. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 04:39 - United States - Tucson

Today, I went to a new friend's house. His younger brother played loud gunshot noises on the stereo system to try to scare me, but instead triggered my PTSD. I had a full-blown panic attack for nearly an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Meems - 12/04/2016 04:34 - United States - Reno

Today, I was looking online for a new job. I didn't find one but I did find that my current job posted. Guess it's a good thing I'm already trying to find a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 04:27 - United States

Today, I woke up unbearably thirsty, so I grabbed the closest drink I could find and began chugging, as I was almost finished I felt a fuzzy lump touch my tongue. I turned the light on and the bottle was full of mold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By InPain - 12/04/2016 04:21 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I got hemroids for the first time. It hurts to much to sit down and I have an 8 hour car ride in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By whoops - 12/04/2016 03:46 - United States - Prior Lake

Today, I noticed a bunch of cars like mine driving in a line, so I joined in as a joke. Turns out they were inmates from the local prison driving to pick up new transfers and they had gone off course. I found out after being surrounded and questioned for hours about my missing uniform. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 03:31 - United States - Washington

Today I was riding my boyfriend on the sofa when his schnauzer started licking my asshole. It was some of the most mindblowing sex I've ever had. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By persianjr - 12/04/2016 03:31 - United States - Fullerton

Today, my girlfriend received a "video" of me flirting and talking with other girls at a party she was later coming to. That "video" was of the only other Middle Eastern guy at the party and my girlfriend has now broken up with me. She won't answer my texts or phone calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By elsie9900 - 12/04/2016 03:30 - United States - Memphis

Today, my coworker decided he would explain to me how fat I've gotten and how I should stop eating for a while. He's 35 and 280lbs, I'm a 17 year old female....I weigh 130. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 03:29 - Canada - Edmonton

Today I discovered that I can't afford the antidepressants I've needed for my depression caused by being laid off of work. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 0

By kaleena97 - 12/04/2016 03:28 - United States - Savannah

Today, I looked over at my boyfriend's purring cat to realize she had just had a miscarriage. On my favorite blanket. Right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By buh_ree4 - 12/04/2016 03:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my female intuition kicked in at 3:30am and I caught my boyfriend cheating. I've told him it's over twice now, yet he still doesn't seem to understand what the issue is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By trucker2 - 12/04/2016 03:07 - United States - Toledo

Today, officers showed up at my door, to notify me of next of kin, whilst I was on the phone, receiving the same type of information, on yet another family member. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By shortynelson - 12/04/2016 03:04 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, me and my boyfriend were wrestling around in bed. He went back up to lay down and I went for him he ended up plastering me in the eye with his elbow. I'm now stuck with a black eye and him telling me that I shouldn't have cried like a baby. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By heeeeeeeellll no - 12/04/2016 02:55 - United States - Columbus

Today, I went on a date for the first time in two years after finally having a little bit of time free from college and work. The guy tried to convince me to leave my career path in medicine to work in his restaurant, talked over me the whole time, and mentioned his ex too many times to count. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By 4Vandy14 - 12/04/2016 02:52 - United States - Goodlettsville

Today, I went to the movies with a couple of people, my crush included. I spent well over 100 dollars on her. When the night was over, she admitted to me that she had deep feelings for my best friend, who had been a jerk to her all the time, but was also secretly dating her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By thewaffles32 - 12/04/2016 02:50 - United States - Harrah

Today, my dog peed in the floor, so I put the dog outside he peed 3 more times while he was outside. I thought he was done so I let him back in the house, he peed on the floor again, so I put him outside again he peed again outside. He came back inside and immediately peed on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By change.over.they.said.itll.be.cheaper.they.said - 12/04/2016 02:48 - United States - Bothell

Today, after having been with sprint for 5 months in their change over plan who swore to buy out my contract, I just recieved a collection notice from verizon telling me i owe them nearly 1,000 dollars in late and cancellation fees.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 02:47 - Canada - Milton

Today I told my best friend that I'm pregnant. She now refuses to even be in the same room as me, because my boyfriend "gave me cooties," and she doesn't want to "end up pregnant, too." She's 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By gingerlover01 - 12/04/2016 02:46 - United States

Today, I got drunk for the first time with one of my extremely attractive female friends, in the middle of a play lap dance her extremely homophobic father walked into check on us, I'm not allowed back.FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By Kaeneco - 12/04/2016 02:41 - Canada - Jansen

Today, I was leaving my boyfriends house to go to work. As I started driving I realized that I had a flat tire. I got out of my car to take a look to find out all of my tires were slashed. Turns out it was my boyfriends ex girlfriend, whom I have never met in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By Redfox712 - 12/04/2016 02:40 - United States - Louisburg

Today, I got fired from my job, because my boss wanted a vacation, and I didn't get there within 3 hours. I was on a 7 hour flight to Florida, which he approved two weeks ago.FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By Isaac - 12/04/2016 02:22 - United States - Hyattsville

Today, I got into an argument with my overly religious step-dad which concluded with him saying "I'd kill you if God told me too" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 02:22 - United States - Columbus

Today, at around 3am, I awoke from a deep sleep with a runny nose. I wiped it away with my hand but it still kept running. When I turned on the light, my face, hand, and wrist were covered in blood and it looked like a small animal had been sacrificed on my pillow. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 02:16 - United States - Columbus

Today, I went to my job as a high school teacher. I left my contacts at my boyfriend's apartment, so I had to wear my glasses today. I overheard a student say I looked like the teacher from Jimmy Neutron. I'm 25. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 02:09 - United States

Today the charity that promised months ago to fundraise for my husband and I to finally move away from our abusive families told us at the last minute they don't have enough volunteers and can't help us at all. Now I'm stuck grocery shopping with my father who tortured me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By lostinthewoods - 12/04/2016 02:09 - United States - Ridgewood

Today, I was getting in one of my friends car when he decided it would be funny to drive away. I now have two broken toes because he drove over my foot. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By wherediditgowrong - 12/04/2016 02:08 - United States

Today, it is my 1.5 year "anniversary" with my boyfriend. It started with him bringing me home roses, and it ended with him slamming the bedroom door shut and screaming for me to turn the television down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 2

By Excel - 12/04/2016 02:01 - United States - Matthews

Today, I realized the extent of my loneliness as I'm sitting in bed excited about testing out the excel worksheet I made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 01:53 - United States - Columbus

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I learned that just because the cute barista at the train station smiles, waves at me each time I arrive, and develops small talk, probably means she's trying to sell me pastries. The smile she had when I asked for her number, and the way she said, "Nah" still haunts me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 488

You deserved it 1 636

Today, my neighbors put up their Christmas lights. They blink red and green on and off. Ever since they put them up, my dog hasn't stopped barking. It's 2:00AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 799

You deserved it 4 021

Today, I was chatting with the girl of my dreams, a real heart-to-heart. Everything was going great, and I asked her if she'd like to get coffee together sometime. She immediately backed away and excused herself, mumbling something about not dating left-handed people. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 439

You deserved it 2 702

Today, I woke up after going to a rave with some friends. I got very nauseous and sat down behind a garbage bin outside to puke. I sat directly on fresh pee. About an hour later, I sat down on a toilet seat also covered in pee. I forgot to shower when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 557

Today, I agreed to catsit for a friend. Her cat rode back to my house sitting on my shoulder in the car. As soon as I opened the door, he jumped out and ran off into the woods. It's been 2 1/2 hours and not even food will entice him back to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 745

You deserved it 3 372

Today, I had to put my cat to sleep after she was in an accident. While I was crying hysterically, the vet asked me for $230. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 909

You deserved it 313