Nearly FMLs

By badtimedIT - 12/04/2016 17:44 - United States - Nashville

Today, I work in the IT department of our regional hospital. I was working on a computer in a room with a patient. While talking to the patient, one of the monitors started beeping loudly, so I figured I unplugged a part of it by accident. Apparently during the conversation the patient died. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By DR_TYRANOSAURUS - 12/04/2016 17:40 - United States - Houston

Today, I realized my girlfriend's friend is more of a boyfriend to her than I am.FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By awkotaco_meg - 12/04/2016 17:23 - Canada - Etobicoke

Today, I was ready to hand in an assignment that I stayed up all night to finish. When i got to class, most of the other students hadn't finished it, so the teacher decided to give an extension, and refused to give extra marks for actually finishing the assignment on time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By bitchfacetrauma - 12/04/2016 17:23 - Australia - Perth

Today, I got yelled at by my mother's friend because I was "being rude and acting dismissive." All I did was look at her while she was talking to my mother and not pass a comment. She got angry because my resting bitch face is hardcore. Sorry I can't change my face, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 17:13 - United Kingdom - Stirling

Today, my boyfriend played a solo with an orchestra I play in. I walked offstage to get flowers for him but they weren't where I was told they'd be. I walked across the stage in front of the audience to the other side to get them. They weren't there either: someone else had given them to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By Wraith09 - 12/04/2016 17:13 - Canada - Holland Landing

Today, my boss warned me people were complaining that I wasn't re-stocking the Kleenex, Aspirin, Band aids etc. for the office. This was all stuff I brought from home for me to use and kept at my desk, but I stopped because these freeloaders kept using it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By toouglytocatcall - 12/04/2016 17:08 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, my friends were talking about all the times they've been catcalled and how awful it is. I've never been catcalled. Not once in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By heha - 12/04/2016 17:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I wanted to celebrate our 5 year anniversary at a hotel. We both still live at home but we are 21. His mom ended up following us and almost knocking the door down preventing us from staying.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By littlelady76 - 12/04/2016 16:59 - United States

Today, I finally found the perfect part time job. It won't take away from my personal life and it will help get bills paid. Instead of congratulating me, my significant other is pissed and not talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By John - 12/04/2016 16:45 - United States

Today, I had to sit in the waiting room at out doctors office with my son for three and a half hours while we waited to be ushered into the back. When confronting the receptionist after waiting for so long she said, "Sorry, I forgot to put you on the waiting list." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 16:16 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I got myself all set up to have some fun 'alone time.' I had lube, my favorite toy, and lusty thoughts about my man... before I could even start, I burst into tears because I couldn't even remember the last time we had sex. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By tinudaindian - 12/04/2016 16:12 - United States - New York

Today, I was with my sisters and mom and out of thin air, like a typical teen, pop a boner for no reason. My sister thought it would be funny to put her hair straightener near my crotch to scare me, but she freaked out that she saw my boner and they all yelled at me calling me perverted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By unlucky in loo - 12/04/2016 16:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I ran out of toilet paper, while wiping. I waddled out to get the closet thing to wipe with: a Kleenex box. As soon as I sat back down, I realized it had only one piece left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By nocoincidence - 12/04/2016 16:07 - United States - Fredonia

Today, I woke up to see a notification from my boyfriends post being shared on Facebook from 3 years ago .. The girl who shared it is the same girl who broke in our house last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By ThanksAlbuquerque - 12/04/2016 16:00 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark with my mother. She's visiting my in Albuquerque, and I was showing her how safe my neighborhood is. A man on a bicycle threw a rock at us and screamed obscenities. The rock hit me in the chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Logan - 12/04/2016 15:59 - Anonymous Proxy

Today, my fiance has spent the last 6 months planning our entire wedding without letting me do anything apart from drive her where she needs to go and then got mad when I didn't get excited about a wedding I had no part in planning. I didn't even get to choose my own guests FFS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By suckstobeme - 12/04/2016 15:39 - United States - Hempstead

Today I was internet stalking a girl from high school and I clicked on her mom's profile. While going through her mom's photos, I accidentally tagged myself in her mom's profile picture... FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By iwood214 - 12/04/2016 15:34 - United States - Pleasant Hill

Today, My social anxiety has affected my life so much, for my wedding I need half of the groom's guests to sit on my side so I don't look so lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By Ideserve54321 - 12/04/2016 15:27 - United States - Wilmington

Today, in my high school class my voice cracked while I was speaking out loud resulting in heinous laughter from everyone. I'm the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 14:58 - France

Today, after a brain injury from years ago I became deaf, then today I woke up and I could hear again. Now less than 10 hours later I wish I was deaf again because my wife seems to be taking the opportunity to make up for all the nagging she has missed out on from the last few years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By PowerfulSneeze - 12/04/2016 14:51 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and as I was about to come, I sneezed. It was so violent that I sneezed him out of me, and he laughed too much for us to finish. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Anon - 12/04/2016 14:46 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I told my boyfriend that we couldn't have sex because I couldn't get a script for my pill. His reponse? "Awesome, so I can game?" Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By Bravegirl - 12/04/2016 14:40 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, we won an inter school debate because my coach told the judges to go light on us, because of my disability. Diasability? Oh she meant the swollen mouth I got from getting hit in the face at Netball last night. The judges told me I'm "such a brave girl." Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By almostadult - 12/04/2016 14:26 - United Kingdom - Alton

Today, my sister gave birth to a healthy baby boy. She's decided to call him David Stuart. My dad was touched, thinking the baby was named Stuart after him and David after his dad (my granddad). It was only when I was alone with my sister that she revealed she named her child after minions. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By tommyboy97 - 12/04/2016 14:23 - United States - Manchester

Today, I went in to the bathroom at pizza hut only to hear some guy rubbing one out and grunting well doing it, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By Olafur - 12/04/2016 14:14 - Iceland - Reykjav?k

Today, I announced the death of my brother's cat to a group of friends on an online game I play. There was a mixture of shock and sympathy, but one person simply responded with the word "Cool". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By deadxmanxwalking - 12/04/2016 14:10 - United States - Holland

Today, I stayed up all night working on a paper that was due the next day. I went to bed at 3:30 in the morning, making sure my alarm was set for 6:40. When I woke up, it was 9:55, I missed the class I stayed up all night for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By mishfish - 12/04/2016 14:01 - Australia - Heidelberg

Today, I perfectly planned everything in order to get home early and get some proper sleep. So I get into bed at 9:30 all snugly and warm looking forward to a solid 10 hours of unconscious bliss... 5 hours later I'm still trying to get my brain to shut down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 13:56 - United Kingdom - Rowlands Castle

Today, I spent the whole of my birthday alone because none of my friends I invited over turned up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By Onigori - 12/04/2016 13:54 - United States - Chicago

Today, I had to tune out my professor for an entire lesson because every time he said the name of the composer we were studying, he mumbled and it sounded like "Buttsex". I couldn't take him seriously for the entire two hour lecture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, the elevator at work was taking forever so I decided to make a change and take the stairs instead. I slipped on the second step and spent the next few minutes laying there as people asked if I was OK. My pride is bruised… as well as my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 118

Today, a customer was rude to me, and I was rude back. He then asked for my manager, and I told him I was the store manager. He then identified himself as the corporate owner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 997

You deserved it 57 716

Today, I got the biggest shock in my life, I'm a mistake, and the only reason why I wasn't put up for adoption is because of the tax refunds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 804

You deserved it 149

Today, my wife asked for water, complaining about being thirsty. I got off the couch, walked two rooms over, got a jug of water from the fridge, and came back. She spent the entire time ranting about how thirsty she was, and when I handed her the water, she set it down and continued to complain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 92

Today, British Telecom disconnected my landline by mistake. Their call centre in India tried to reach me. Result, they spoke to an unknown gentleman, who told them he didn't need a phone line at my address. Reconnection in 2 business days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 637

You deserved it 2 275

Today, I was playing basketball with my friends. I went up for a dunk and ended up hitting my head on the rim, knocking myself out. When I came to my senses, my "friends" had all left. Assholes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 165