Nearly FMLs

By BigJ_76 - 14/04/2016 00:37 - United States - Essex Junction

Today, a girl in my class took my phone and put a selfie up on my snapchat story. My girlfriend saw the story and now won't speak or listen to me FML.

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By redey2816 - 14/04/2016 00:32 - United States - Aurora

Today, my lamp light bulb went out. This would not be a problem, but it burst while I was working. Glass went everywhere. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 2

By sexhole - 14/04/2016 00:11 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I went to a party where people have anonymous sex in the closet. I have officially lost my virginity to my younger sister. I'm 19. She's 12. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By Vikstera - 14/04/2016 00:07 - United States - Greensboro

Today, my man was going to town on me. I was about to finally orgasm, until my cat jumped out from under the bed and attacked my boyfriend's toe and destroyed the entire mood. fml.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By broke - 14/04/2016 00:07 - Canada - Burnaby

Today, in the twenty minutes I was away from it (having left it it my work changing room) someone went into my backpack, searched for my wallet, and took all my cash. There were no cameras. I'm out over $100. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 23:48 - United States - Bullhead City

Today, being so sleep deprived from working graveyard and having a baby I accidentally put the baby's formula in my coffee instead of milk FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By lonelyloser3 - 13/04/2016 23:29 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I realized how lonely I am when I actually googled how to make friends. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By anti travel - 13/04/2016 23:25 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, I found out via social media that my boyfriend will be doing a lot of traveling. He couldn't tell me but could update a status. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 3

By hottytodday - 13/04/2016 23:19 - United States - Oxford

Today, while having sex with a really cute girl, her sister showed up. her sister so happens to be my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 5

By DragonSlayer1234 - 13/04/2016 23:04 - United States - Beaumont

Today, as I was about to propose to my girlfriend, her psycho ex-boyfriend showed up, stole the ring, and said "this is what you get from leaving me bitch". She is so mad she dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By meekasaurous - 13/04/2016 23:03 - Canada - Vernon

Today, I got up to let my dog inside. My grandpa came out of his room stark naked at the same time, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By farmergirl420 - 13/04/2016 22:53 - United States - Clemmons

Today, after a fight, my husband said he no longer wanted to try for another child. Once he calmed down, I brought it back up to discuss and he refuses to change his mind. I just found out I'm pregnant. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 22:31 - United States - Collegeville

Today, my mom nicely packed me a bag of minimuffins for a dance practice snack. Too bad I didn't notice the tiny hole gnawed by a rodent and the missing half of one muffin until I had hungrily scarfed all the muffins down-including the one the squeaker ate half of. My mother fed me rat food. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 22:23 - United States - Greensboro

Today, I had a job interview. I did not see the manager anywhere. I asked an employee where should I go for the interview, they said they will get the manager asap. 20 minutes later, the manager comes out and tells me I am disqualified from the job because I am late. I arrived 10 minutes early. fml

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By moonmonkey400 - 13/04/2016 21:44 - United States - Columbia

Today, my friends found out that I am Italian in a group chat, now they will not stop bothering me with racist Italian jokes, horrible Italian accents, and they think that every day I should be eating spaghetti. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By mikki_arlert - 13/04/2016 21:41 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my art teacher told me she accidentally dropped my art work, which I had painted on a mirror. She then yelled at me for painting it on a mirror in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By wtfcupid - 13/04/2016 21:34 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, a girl stole my heart. She also stole my car, credit cards, money, phone and my gps. She used the home setting to find my house and steal my dog. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By relatableyoongi - 13/04/2016 21:29 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I looked at the date and realised my new boyfriend hasn't spoken to me in over a week. The last time I saw him was when I gave him a blowjob for the first time. I definitely got used. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 3

By flowersbloom - 13/04/2016 21:26 - United States - Savannah

Today, I went to get a bagel. On my way out I noticed two employees trying to get something out of the toaster. It was a dead roach. I had already finished my toasted bagel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By pissedoff - 13/04/2016 21:02 - United States

Today, after a late night out drinking, I was awoken by my friends cat pissing on my leg. As if the hangover wasn't bad enough, I then had to deal with the hot stink on my leg for 30 minutes while I drove home. Neither the cat or my friend apologized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 20:36 - United States - Fremont

Today, my roommate found out his girlfriend was paying him a surprise visit. Desperate, he secretly hid all his beer bottles under my bed. His girlfriend is my sister's best friend. When she visited, a beer bottle rolled out. She told my sister and parents that I'm drinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By hpandher - 13/04/2016 20:29 - India - Ghaziabad

Today, I got response from 3 independent companies I have given interviews to. Apparently single rejection in a day wasn't enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By KereKris - 13/04/2016 20:20 - Netherlands - Group

Today, I was very passionately talking to my mom about climate change. After a while, she looked me in the eye and asked: "But what is REALLY bothering you? Nobody can get THIS upset about climate change. It doesn't even matter." This attitude is exactly why the planet is fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By anom - 13/04/2016 19:58 - United States - Farmington

Today, I have applied to several jobs. I have done follow up emails for all of them and most of those emails have resulted in a reply that they will be calling me early this week. As it is Thursday now and I have gotten no calls I checked my phone number on the applications. They are all wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 2

By alovest2015 - 13/04/2016 19:30 - United States - Pottstown

Today, I was texting my husband and we were getting pretty dirty as he is gone for 9 months. My dad texted me in the middle of it. That would have been OK if I didn't send him a message with all the things I would like to do to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 2

By ashamed - 13/04/2016 19:18 - United Kingdom - Wallasey

Today i finally built up the courage to go to the gym, which is a big deal for me as a plus size woman. Not 15 minutes into my work out some muscle head came over to tell me i don't belong in the gym because I'm 'too fat'. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By wtfbroidfwy - 13/04/2016 19:18 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I finally decided to get rid of my bulky otter box phone case, since I haven't dropped my phone in a long time. When I took it off, I was used to my phone being bigger, so i dropped it and cracked the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Thelonelydino - 13/04/2016 19:01 - United States

Today, I was driving home from school when I suddenly had to pee. So I was speeding and a cop pulled me over. I promptly peed myself right as the cop finally let me go with a warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 2

By paige9824 - 13/04/2016 18:48 - United States - Kingston

Today, I decided that it is my senior year of high school and I should stop being a pussy and skip school for once with my friend. We went out to eat and after ten minutes our superintendent and principle walked in and said hello. He knows my family well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Shshhs - 13/04/2016 18:48 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I finally got enough courage to ask out the girl I have had a crush on for 2 years, she said yes Trent. That's my twin brother's name. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I tried to strike up a conversation with someone in an elevator by commenting on the "beautiful view." We were in a windowless elevator, heading for the basement parking lot. I then had to try and appear less psychotic to avoid freaking them out even more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 522

Today, my dad confessed that the only reason I'm alive today is because he couldn't afford to pay for an abortion. He couldn't afford it because he'd splashed out on brand new furniture at IKEA shortly before discovering my mom was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 086

You deserved it 2 963

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 401

You deserved it 13 712

Today, I got up early to prank my family. I put a bucket of ice water on top of a door frame so whoever walked through would get an icy surprise. After I was done, I went back to bed. I woke up groggy and disoriented like always and walked right through the doorway I had rigged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 425

You deserved it 168 165

Today, my daughter wanted to show me the tooth she had just lost. As I was in a rush to leave for work, I quickly picked up and swallowed my pill that was on the kitchen table. It was only until I looked back down at the table did I see not only my pill, but one extremely angry daughter glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 567

You deserved it 919

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 482

You deserved it 7 667