Nearly FMLs

By Im a Dick..... - 26/04/2016 15:11 - United States

Today, I backed out of prom, i never really wanted to go in the first place but I said yes because she was my friend, after I backed out , I was told by her fuming friend that I'm a dick who has no idea what I just did. Turns out she had a date, The Kid at our school who just died from cancer FML.

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 6

By anon - 26/04/2016 15:08 - United Kingdom - London

Today, while hanging out with my friends I broke my foot. Instead of being concerned for me, my friend decided I was being boring and that she no longer wanted to be my friend. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 26/04/2016 15:04 - United States

Today, I was riding the bus to get to work. At one stop, a black woman got on with a child. A couple of stops later, the woman got off. I tapped the girl and told her her mom got off. With a cold stare, she told me, "She's not my mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 4

By Chadica - 26/04/2016 15:03 - United States - Avenel

Today, I found out that my ex boyfriend is transferring to the same college as I am next year. This was after almost two years of him being an asshole and then a week or two of him guilting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 4

By YourAverageKumar - 26/04/2016 15:02 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I was taken into custody by the police under the presumption that I was in possession and was deleting evidence of child pornography. He didn't know about snapchat and my girlfriend is 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 1

By LustNotLove - 26/04/2016 14:53 - United States - Vancouver

Yesterday was my girlfriends birthday my gift to her was a promise ring and some roses . In return she ended up getting drunk and having sex with all my friends FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 8

By shanson - 26/04/2016 14:52 - United States - San Antonio

Today, an old knee injury was acting up so I decided to switch to new sneakers for better support. I already have blisters on both heels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 7

By friendszonedtothemax - 26/04/2016 14:51 - United States - Milpitas

Today, I asked a girl who I've had an interest on and have known for a long time to be my girlfriend. She rejected me and then right after she asked me if I could help her hook up with my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 6

By fudgypotato - 26/04/2016 14:33 - United Kingdom - Ely

Today, while at work I was talking about my ex girlfriend to a coworker on the shop floor. Just as we were getting to the really good part about how she controls my sons life and wont let him meet any of my friends and after my coworker called her a psyco, she walks round the corner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 11

By mommas girl - 26/04/2016 14:21 - Finland - Helsinki

Today I finally have an opportunity to get a job as a chef after being unemployed almost a year. Well my farmer parents are having trouble with the farm since my older brother, who helps them is sick. My mom, who demanded me to get a job now demands me to drop everything and come and help them FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 5

By TitoNagasaki - 26/04/2016 12:30 - United States

Today, The girl of my dreams hates me now because I was being "too sad". My aunt just passed away three days ago.

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 90

By JustYourAverageCanadian - 26/04/2016 12:12 - United States - Saint Albans

Today, according to my classmates, I'm a terrorist who's here to steal all the maple syrup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 163

By Latik - 26/04/2016 12:01 - Philippines - Navotas

Today, in a rape trial, the President of my country admitted to having unprotected sex with a women he knew had HIV. He said he took a shower afterwards and washed 'very well' so he wasn't scared he contracted the disease. And you complain about your President?

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 99

By bigwell - 26/04/2016 12:00 - United States - New Castle

Today, while driving home from work, I drove over a nail. The tire shop said the damage is unrepeatable and I'll need to buy a new tire. I have a job interview in 2 hours and don't have $400 for a new tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 104

By pleasekillme - 26/04/2016 11:57 - United Kingdom - Ashford

Today, I have toothache so bad I can hardly see through tears of pain. My dentist said there was nothing she could do about the pain and that we had to wait a few days for it to get even worse because it was unclear what was wrong. Today was the only day I could get there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 40

By Herpes+Hispes=Ourpes - 26/04/2016 11:42 - Mexico - Tijuana

Today, I found out I have HPV. Last week, I found out I have herpes. I don't want to live for next week at the rate things have been going lately.

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 112

By Hell no - 26/04/2016 11:40 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my parents told me that they found a wife for me. They want to force me into a marriage with a girl who can't even read or write. I'm 20 years old engineer.... Fml

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 35

By ... - 26/04/2016 11:38 - United States - Palisades Park

Today, my boss, who is also my brother-in-law laid me off. Why? Because it bothers him that he sees me more through out the day than his wife (my sister). FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 21

By groza528 - 26/04/2016 11:35 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, FML changed the "You deserve it" option to "It could've happened to me." Now every vote I put on real jerks retroactively makes me look like an equally bad jerk. I can't even expect people to vote the way I'd like on this entry because the new option literally applies to all of them. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 99

By ? - 26/04/2016 11:26 - United States - Nashville

Today, for some odd reason, when my boyfriend woke me up, I thought it was Saturday. I was thoroughly disappointed when school was mentioned. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 107

By Battlebarney - 26/04/2016 10:59 - United States - Washington

Today, I've always been told I look just like my dad. The only difference between me and him is our eye color, but that certainly didn't stop my drunk mom from trying to seduce me.FML

I agree, your life sucks 233

You deserved it 10

By tabypatchkid - 26/04/2016 10:54 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my manger told me he wants to promote me to manager. He said I really proved myself in the few months I've been there. Oh and that I'm only getting it because I'm the 'best of a bad situation.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 15

By SKYstlimit - 26/04/2016 10:53 - United Kingdom - Aberystwyth

Today, I haven't slept for the third night in a row because my boyfriend has a uni essay to get in and if he's working apparently I'm not allowed to sleep, he wakes me up every time I doze off, I think I'm dying, FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 15

By screwed - 26/04/2016 10:49 - United States - Dayton

Today, after traveling for 3 years and helping at both plants, my husband's company decided to let him go after hiring engineers to replace him leaving no open positions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 11

By debating singleness - 26/04/2016 10:42 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my long-distance girlfriend is visiting from another continent for a week. I've had bronchitis for a month, and every time I cough she gets mad because the noise hurts her ears. My back hurt and I asked for a massage. She got mad at me for asking. It's gonna be a long week. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 9

By Frickpublictransport - 26/04/2016 10:16 - Sweden - Lule?

Today, when I was sitting on the bus on my way to school the bus turned the opposite way it was supposed to go. The bus had to go down the wrong road for 5 minutes before it could go back and I was now really late. Turns out my teacher will lock the door to the classroom during national exams. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 10

By Bungledorp - 26/04/2016 10:15 - Australia - Reynella

Today I went to the shops, commando. And old lady started to sing "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" to me. I stopped and looked at her. She glanced meaningfully at my crotch. My sweet, low chariot was showing through my open fly...

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 14

By kvb81295 - 26/04/2016 09:55 - United States

Today, I found out that my (now ex) girlfriend sent in a letter to the air force recruiter about the eat disorder that I had 5 years ago. Now I've been kicked out of the air force 1 week before I was set to ship out. fml

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 12

By AtWarWithTheDog - 26/04/2016 09:53 - United Kingdom - Feltham

Today, the package containing my eagerly-anticipated, made-to-order ASOIAF shirt was ripped apart by my mum's stupid dog who beat me to the front door again. I now have to wait for a replacement and my mother owes me twenty quid. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 7

By EverVanity - 26/04/2016 09:44 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, my boyfriend and i wanted to play a game together. Then the game wouldnt load for him and he spent 1 hour yelling and screaming. While i was sitting there awkwardly till he just closed his laptop and was mad the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 13

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The Top

Today, I guess my mom didn't clean her toilet before going on vacation. That’s probably why it’s not only dirty, but the dirt has started to grow mould. Spoiler: She's been back from her trip for a while now, the toilet still looks that way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 103

Today, I woke up to a fog. Literally. A pipe burst in my apartment and scalding water was everywhere. To make matters worse, when I called maintenance he told me he'd come by later, hung up on me, and turned his phone off. He did eventually show up, but it was 5 hours later, well after I'd paid a plumber $200. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 506

You deserved it 535

Today, I had a discussion with my boss. I work at a self storage, and told her that we need 8 more security cameras so that we can cover all the hallways. She decided to get 2 put into the office so she can spy on her employees instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 128

Today, we got our results for our final grade English paper on which I worked my butt off on, and also which I let my best-friend copy off from. I received a E- and two detentions for plagiarism. My friend got a A-. All she said was, "Oh well, at least you tried your best". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 375

You deserved it 54 140

Today, I finally had some alone time to relax and watch a movie. As soon as I pressed play, my neighbor started blasting their music so loud I could feel the bass in my chest. I tried calling the landlord, but they didn't answer. I ended up watching the movie with subtitles while listening to my neighbor's music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 132

Today, at work, a lady came in to have her glasses fixed. When she opened her case, an earwig crawled out. Instead of trying to kill it, she just left it and watched as it crawled over my desk and behind my computer. I later found the earwig in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 879

You deserved it 4 976