Nearly FMLs

By Idontevenknow - 12/05/2016 15:52 - United States - Reseda

Today, at 3 am, I woke up screaming from a terrifying nightmare; it was about a giant ladybug. I am 21 years old, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 9

By Me - 12/05/2016 15:43 - United Kingdom - London

Today my alcoholic boyfriend decided to take the next four days off work, which happen to be the last days leading up to a massive deadline for me. He is in my face the entire time, making me so angry and frustrated that I can't focus on anything but screaming. My work is screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 7

By salii321 - 12/05/2016 15:15 - Australia - Burwood

Today, my mum announced her pregnancy after 18 years (since my youngest brother was born). Meanwhile, I'm 22 never been kissed or in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 7

By siren - 12/05/2016 15:10 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I had a dream about having sex with my neighbor. I see him every morning in his boxers, I feel like i can't look him in the eyes anymore FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 16

By youdontsay123456 - 12/05/2016 14:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in my class we decided to watch Food, Inc. Someone threw up.... on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 12/05/2016 14:37 - United States - Greenville

Today, we were closing up the pizza place and somebody called in for a delivery at 5 to close. I'm the driver. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 10

By surfachic90 - 12/05/2016 14:33 - United States - Lexington

Today, was a family reunion on my fathers side. They haven't seen me in over 15 years. I walk in with my father and grandmother. I sit down close to my father and before my grandma can make any introductuons, her brother from California asks my father if I'm his new girlfriend? fml

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 11

By weebitcreepy - 12/05/2016 14:32 - Italy - Rome

Today, I decided to adopt a healthy lifestyle. Went for a run early in the morning. Sprained my knee real bad and had to walk back about 1.5 km in agonising pain. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 13

By BrandonDrapeau - 12/05/2016 14:03 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I graduated college. As I made my way up the stage, my name was about to be called. Right as the speaker was about to announce my name he stopped and muttered under his breath, "How the hell do I pronounce this?" FML.

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 17

By StudentLife - 12/05/2016 14:02 - Australia - Saint Kilda

Today, I discovered the housemate I rarely see is home with a stomach bug. How do I know? My room shares a very thin wall with nearest toilet, so I get to hear everything. This is just after another housemate, who is always having loud bowel movements finally left for the weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 7

By TheLostCauseFML - 12/05/2016 13:38 - United States - Rio Vista

Today, our electricity has been out for several hours. Now the freezer full of newly purchased food that was supposed to last us for two months is ruined and we don't have the money to replace it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 5

By sexbrug - 12/05/2016 13:35 - United States - Newberg

Today, during sex my boyfriend shouted "oh yeah you like that" so loudly my neighbors called police, FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 8

By 399 - 12/05/2016 13:29 - United States - Norfolk

Today, on my way to work, I was stopped at a street light. While I was waiting for the light to change, an old lady walked in front of my car, looked me straight in the eye, took one of her saggy tits out and started smacking my hood with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 6

By JustShootMeFML - 12/05/2016 13:25 - United States - Plano

Today, I am entering day 18 of my second period this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 9

By Ewwww - 12/05/2016 12:44 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I went outside to play fetch with my dogs. I came back inside to sit down and tie my shoelace, but my shoe left some mud on the couch. So that no one would notice it, I tried to wipe it off with my finger. But it was actually dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 11

By unluckyrunner - 12/05/2016 12:40 - United States

Today, I decided to change my running route and run in a very busy intersection in L.A. Before I left I made sure I drank tons of water. As a thanks from my body, I got double Charlie horses in the middle of crossing the road, instead of people helping me, a moped ran my foot over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 4

By c10rider - 12/05/2016 12:23 - United States

Today, in sat in the HR office for supposedly firing one of my guys because he was black. i fired him because he told me he had 7 years experience in the field, but actually it was his first time in this line of work. fml

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 4

By Dental care - 12/05/2016 12:12 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, My boyfriend accused me of giving him Gingivitis, Because apparently it's contagious, FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 9

By noodle arms - 12/05/2016 12:10 - United States - Allston

Today, I was planning on going to the gym on my bike. The tires needed air so I grabbed the hand pump and over filled my tire to the point it popped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 14

By disgusted teacher - 12/05/2016 10:57 - Canada - Milton

Today, I had to call a students mother and try and explain to her that her daughter needs to change her diaper before coming to my class, an issue that many students have taken to me. This would be fine if I wasn't a grade 12 drama teacher! FML.

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 41

By Tangerine - 12/05/2016 10:57 - United States - Stone Mountain

Today, while sitting on my school floor for an assembly, a girl asked me to bend my leg in so she could sit. As I was wearing a leg brace, I explained I couldn't. She then proceeded to forcefully bend my leg in, ripping my brace and hurting the muscles around my osteochondroma. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 17

By Sick Man - 12/05/2016 10:38 - United States - Springfield

Today, my brother gave me stale chips. They were 2 years past their date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 56

By Dallesky - 12/05/2016 09:14 - South Africa

Today, I was fishing with a friend who I secretly don't like. I hooked what felt like a big fish, but lost it after a few seconds. Five minutes later, my frenemy hooked a fish and landed it. The fish was so big it turned out to be a new regional record. And it had my lost lure in its mouth. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 38

By jasbundo - 12/05/2016 05:29 - Australia - Belrose

Today, I went to visit my fiance's family and my future father-in-law asked me to pull his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 56

By unknown - 12/05/2016 03:07 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, My grandmother gave me a Happy Mother's Day card. Inside she wrote Happy Mother's Day almost. Then she wrote me a long paragraph about how it's almost time for me to have kids. I'm only 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 25

By TungstenHearted - 12/05/2016 02:57 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my pants caught fire. So did my balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 27

By suomynona - 12/05/2016 02:42 - United States

Today, I got fired from my job. Why? For fighting on work property last night. I had gotten jumped by a gang in the parking lot when I got off and fought back… FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 20

By jkorning7 - 12/05/2016 01:57 - United States - Newton Falls

Today, I was in class my geography class and my professor asked what state Obama was born in. I replied Hawaii. Then some kid raised his hand and said your wrong you can only be president of you are born in America. I then had to go on explaining that Hawaii is in the US. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 40

By Accidental_Smurfette - 12/05/2016 01:55 - United States - Horsham

Today, I must not have washed my new shirt good enough because it turned my armpits blue. I've showered three times and I still have smurf pitts. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 30

By breezeyy - 12/05/2016 00:14 - United States - Lenni

Today, I was walking down the stairs, stubbed my toe, and went, "Oh, Shit!" loudly. I live in a condo. A few minutes later I got a knock on the door. It was management, with my angry neighbor behind them. Apparently she'd told them I had been screaming loudly for 15 minutes. I was fined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 16

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The Top

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 104

You deserved it 3 573

Today, I had a job interview. It went rather well and I was sure they would hire me. I put in my two weeks notice at my current job and told my boss to suck a dumpster of dick. I then get an email saying they “won’t be moving forward” because my Threads and Instagram don’t “align with the company values.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 1 602

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and had to go to the bathroom in my dorm. After coming out of the bathroom, I realized I'd let my auto-locking door close behind me. I had to go through the whole dorm, sprint across campus in my bra and underwear, and ask someone for my spare key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 419

You deserved it 1 884

Today, I finally had the guts to tell my best friend that I like him more than just as a friend. I was about to tell him when he excitedly told me that he met the love of his life yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 096

You deserved it 643

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend of 2 years. I'd been involved in an accident that severely hurt my right leg. As a result, I couldn't work out and gained 35 pounds, also due to stress eating and some meds I’m taking. Apparently I’m no longer attractive and he can’t have people thinking he’s a “chubby chaser.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 168

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out of her second story bedroom window, taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned, "My baby's first kiss!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 368

You deserved it 7 314