Nearly FMLs

By Hairy Beast - 13/05/2016 00:54 - United States - Marlborough

Today, I realized that I have a lot of arm hair when I found a piece of lint stuck in it. Oh and by the way I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 21

By wedding - 13/05/2016 00:36 - United States - Riverside

Today, i went to a wedding. I was the only one who sat alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 14

By Ideserve54321 - 13/05/2016 00:22 - Colombia - Bogot?

Today, I looked in the mirror and realized that I'm old enough to have wrinkles on my forehead, but not old enough to have free of acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 7

By Sugarpippy - 12/05/2016 20:58 - United States - Huron

Today my dad forced me to stay afterschool to get my grades up. The session ends at 4PM and its 5 now. I think he just wanted the house to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 5

By Hadtogo - 12/05/2016 20:53 - United States - Seattle

Today, after being constipated for three days, I finally got to go. It is also the day I found out that the auto air freshener in the bathroom will send me into a sneezing fit if it goes off while I'm in there. On the bright side I'm pretty cleared out, I just can't sit down anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 7

By slothstronaught - 12/05/2016 20:43 - United States - Schofield

Today, I discovered that the most expensive sandwich on our menu costs more than I make an hour... it's only 7 dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 10

By Zalerium - 12/05/2016 20:06 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had an important presentation. Since half the audience were much older I decided to use a wide vocabulary and tried to make it look as professional as I could. I was accused of plagiarism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 6

By geethanks - 12/05/2016 18:51 - Belgium - Berchem

Today, my girlfriend woke up next to me. She felt my face, opened her eyes and said "Damn, it's you." before turning around and falling asleep again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 5

By DMV customer - 12/05/2016 18:21 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was at the dmv, I have gotten there early and received a number to wait in line. After waiting 4 hours, I asked why my number was not called yet. "Oh I'm sorry, we are not using this letter today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 54

By Junepo - 12/05/2016 18:17 - United States - Rockwall

Today, I realized that my love life has reached an all time low when I made a pocket pussy out of two stuffed animals and a latex glove. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 39

By NuneTheConqueror - 12/05/2016 18:17 - United States - San Francisco

Today, is the day I accept defeat. It took me 4 days to load around 500 files to a client's share network. On top of other time sensitive deliverables. That was last month. Today the client tells me they 'lost them' and if I wouldn't mind just reloading them all again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 2

By Atrain55 - 12/05/2016 18:08 - United States

Today, I was driving my brand new car and the radio turned off and the dashboard stopped working I haven't even had the car for 48 hours FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 24

By Warehouse Outcast - 12/05/2016 17:51 - United States - Loma Linda

Today, I was called into the front office of my warehouse so I could finally find out the results of an extensive interview process for an assistant management position. I was told that I wasn't getting the job because everyone hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 27

By unluckyswipe - 12/05/2016 17:48 - United States

Today, I was peering over the shoulder of a cute boy just as he left swiped me on Tinder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 39

By Anonymous - 12/05/2016 17:46 - Finland

Today, I found out my fiance has pictures of him on a nudist gallery online. Of both his face and his junk. And he's "looking for company". I think I know now why he's been making up excuses for not setting a wedding date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 14

By Saraishi - 12/05/2016 17:43 - Portugal - Set?bal

Today, I saw new pulmonologist for my asthma. I complained that my SOS inhaler gave me tachycardia, which in turn triggered my anxiety and so I wanted to replace it with another one. She replied "Oh, you poor dear." and told me to get more sun because i was too pale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 15

By shameful poisoning - 12/05/2016 17:24 - United States - Swansea

Today, is day two of food poisoning. My very loving girlfriend came over to take care of me and comfort me. I shit my pants while she was cuddling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 22

By Le_ponderer - 12/05/2016 17:23 - Nigeria

"Today, I started a pillow fight with my niece on the bed. She stepped back to make a run at me, missed a step and fell off the edge; smacking her head on the floor. The nurses at the hospital won't stop glaring at me. FML".

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 18

By Pianogirl1987 - 12/05/2016 17:19 - Netherlands - Heerlen

Today, I realised I get depressed every time I get an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 18

By Sissy_bear - 12/05/2016 17:07 - United States - Brandon

Today, on my third day of work at a pizza joint. I told a caller I was new and asked him if he could repeat his order because he said way to fast. He got mad and "tsked" me and ended the call. 2mins later he called again I said my greeting. And he said "let me talk to someone else noob".FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 6

By archerority - 12/05/2016 17:06 - United States - Cypress

Today, was the end of my girlfriend and I's trip to Disney World, or should I say ex-girlfriend since I proposed to her the way she said she dreamed of being proposed too, even though I hate Disney, only to then being rejected since she said "Disney's for kids" and that "I need to grow up". FML.

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 7

By fuck Mother Nature - 12/05/2016 17:04 - United States - Douglasville

Today, my tampon string kept tickling my butt hole while taking a bath. It made me so frustrated I started crying and my mom thought I hurt myself on accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 19

By Violenna - 12/05/2016 17:02 - United States - Fullerton

Today, I learned that you shouldn't antagonize Peta advocates. How did I find this out? I told one of them that my pet chickens eat chicken. Needless to say, it ended very poorly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 19

By Badcat - 12/05/2016 16:49 - Australia - Adelaide

Today I had to remove my cat from the area where I was working as he was trying to eat upholstery pins. When I decided to take a break I found my cat in a shopping bag trying to open a new bag of pins and a sreaming pile of poo on the floor FML.

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 8

By IIVIMMXV - 12/05/2016 16:45 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my girlfriend got mad at me after i read out an anonymous post on facebook from a man, who had snitched on his best friend and told his girlfriend that he had been cheating on her. After she heared that she said "you are probably cheating on me too arent you?" and left. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 9

By heartattack - 12/05/2016 16:41 - Canada - Digby

Today, I'm hiding in my apartment like I do every day because my landlord lives below me and gives me severe anxiety attacks. I want nothing more than to move, but sadly I have to stay til November or she'll charge me $3000. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 6

By Whocares - 12/05/2016 16:19 - United States - Elizabeth

Today, I started a new school. As a student was showing me around, I thought it'd be good to be friendly. as I introduced myself to someone they said "I don't give a fuck about you." Warm welcoming. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 8

By sprinklebug - 12/05/2016 16:14 - United Kingdom - Durham

Today, after losing all my body hair to alopecia over 3 years ago, I noticed some hair growth on my chin. Too bad I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 6

By sprinklebug - 12/05/2016 16:08 - United Kingdom - Durham

Today, after losing all my body hair to alopecia over 3 years ago, I noticed some hair growth on my chin. Too bad I'm a girl.

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 8

By Nomorerack - 12/05/2016 16:05 - United States - Bronx

Today I went for my final weigh in at clinic I've been going to for the past year. The good news is that I've lost 50 lbs and get to buy new clothes. The bad news is that by new clothes I mean new bras. My boobs went from a D to an A. The doctor laughed so hard that the all nurses rushed in too. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 6

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me. That would have been fine, if we hadn't just moved in with his mother a week ago to save money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 668

You deserved it 2 085

Today, I can now identify which of my four roommates is using the washroom, based on their grunts. I just love having a bedroom beside the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 093

You deserved it 307

Today, like every day for the past 6 months, I got a call from the same telemarketers. I've been ignoring the calls, so now they've started leaving me voicemails. I can't get rid of the annoying voicemail icon on my phone without making a call, so I have to pay to listen to their offers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 149

You deserved it 5 721

Today, I tried to sound sexy by sending a well-rehearsed voice message to my crush. My dog started barking loudly in the background, so I ended up sending a second message of me screaming, "Shut UP, Kevin!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 414

Today, I found out that one of my best mates had his backpack, clothes, and everything else in it stolen at an airport overseas. I was feeling sorry for him all day. It took me 9 hours to remember that I actually loaned him my backpack for his trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 931

You deserved it 7 317

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 260

You deserved it 37 116