Nearly FMLs

By nope - 10/05/2016 17:33 - Aland Islands

Today, I checked the Facebook group we have for work. Without warning, there was pictures of dead animal limbs that my boss had taken after her cat had been out on a hunt. I threw up seeing it, and none of my co-workers seemed upset about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 12

By LarryD - 10/05/2016 17:10 - United States - Sturgis

Today I worked serving. I was glad because it was Mother's Day and I knew I would make a lot of money on pity tips because I couldn't be with my family. When I got there the owner said the bus boy called out and they had enough servers so I got stuck picking up dirty dishes for 5.75 an hour...FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 11

By Anonymous28748 - 10/05/2016 16:02 - United States - Sunbury

Today, I've been in cyber school for 5 months. I just found out that all the work I have been doing doesn't count and I have no credits. I'm going have to repeat the 9th grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 13

By breedles - 10/05/2016 16:02 - United States - Whitehall

Today, my alcoholic partner got so upset with me that he shunned me for several hours because he found out I had a glass of champagne with my best friend, which I didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 10/05/2016 15:41 - United Kingdom - Greenock

Today, after spending hours cleaning, washing and polishing my car, I decided to take my dog for a long walk since it was such a nice day. I arrived home two hours later to discover my car covered in baked on bird faeces. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 9

By AquaKingSix - 10/05/2016 15:39 - United States - Washington

Today while walking home from work I was mugged of a single dollar not long after a cop had stopped me because I looked suspicious.FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 9

By upbrah - 10/05/2016 15:25

Today, my sleep was interrupted by the sound of something disturbing. In a panic, I turned on the light to reveal my 24 year old boyfriend sitting on the edge of the bed, taking a leak on the carpet. I yelled, he then went and finished his piss in the toilet. I had to scrub his giant piss patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 8

By The Other Woman - 10/05/2016 15:15 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, to cheer me up from being rejected by my dream man, I went to go see a long term booty call. He told me after we were done that he had a girlfriend, and I officially became "the other woman". FML.

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 13

By Anonymous - 10/05/2016 15:03 - United States

Today, I found out my family places bet's on my sneezing, because it takes "an unusual amount of time" for me to sneeze. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 17

By Shadowous115 - 10/05/2016 15:02 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I went grocery shopping for my mom. After i paid i threw away the receipt. Later i realized i threw my money away with the receipt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 18

By savage alert - 10/05/2016 14:41 - United States - Jericho

Today, I learned that my 15 year old son is sexually active... With two girls... Neither of which are his girlfreind. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 17

By Sadness - 10/05/2016 14:23 - Canada - Oshawa

Today, my mom found my condoms in my room and told me I can't see my boyfriend of 4 years anymore... We're 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 10/05/2016 14:22 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I got a pimple on my dick. Yeah, I didn't know that was possible either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 10

By HeartYou101 - 10/05/2016 14:21 - Ireland

Today, I was eating cereal on the couch while I was sitting beside my bunny. He started to pee, so I scolded him and put him on the ground while I went get a cloth. I came back to find him happily running and hopping around the coffee table flicking his pissy ass and feet all over my breakfast. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 15

By HeStartedIt - 10/05/2016 14:12 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, My boyfriend and I got into a huge fight, he texted my mom and she told me to apologize to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 5

By Ellie - 10/05/2016 14:09 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my brother angrily called me useless, and insulted me multiple times before leaving to run errands. Why? Yesterday, I forgot to tell him the dentist called to confirm his appointment. I told him today instead. The appointment in question isn't until Wednesday, and today's Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 10/05/2016 14:03 - United States - Henderson

Today, my roommate decided to "prank" me by adding an extra ten minutes on the microwave timer to my food. I now have no food, and a broken microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 4

By Emma - 10/05/2016 14:03 - United States - Cambridge

Today, I found out that my boyfriend got another girl pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 9

By AF - 10/05/2016 13:58 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I work for the military. I stayed over an hour late escorting a contractor. After, he felt bad and gave me a piece of candy. It was nicotine gum. I just stopped smoking. I'm also allergic to something in the gum, and got in trouble for missing an appointment. The struggle is real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 8

By TheAspieDork - 10/05/2016 13:22 - United States - Arlington

Today, I discovered all too late that the bathroom stall I was using, as well as a few others, had no toilet paper. Not only did I have to run/waddle between stalls like an idiot looking for some, but the whole debacle made me late to class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 5

By Derpina13 - 10/05/2016 12:54 - South Africa - Durban

Today, I found out my boyfriend's post on a very popular media sharing platform of himself went viral, all was fine till I noticed all the girls he was flirting with. More specifically asking them for their numbers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 10/05/2016 12:51 - Australia - Sydney

Today my husband's secretary of 8 years sent me a picture with the caption "just for you boyfriend xx". The best cover story they could come up with was she was sending him a picture of her 'bruised and cracked ribs'. Really? FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 3

By Pantsed - 10/05/2016 12:47 - China - Shanghai

Today, after delaying it for several years I finally decided to get an annual check up. Here in China they do it in stations. For the lady parts check up the doctor didn't even bother to wait until I got my underwear and pants back up before letting the next girl in. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 5

By gingerlover01 - 10/05/2016 12:37 - United States

Today, my grandma got mad at me, so she flipped through the book I was reading and explained the ending in graet detail "as punishment". FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 8

By onehotmomma90 - 10/05/2016 12:21 - Canada - Gorrie

Today, and for the last week, every time I cough, sneeze or gag I piss myself. I have the flu... FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 10/05/2016 12:01 - United States - Chicago

It was finally time to have sex with my girlfriend after ages of her putting it off. She insisted on playing music, which is okay. But she chose "Happy Little Clouds", a Bob Ross remix she found on youtube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 6

By wyomingwannabe - 10/05/2016 12:00 - United States - Peabody

Today, my primary vendor asked to make the first delivery of the season after Memorial Day. I run a beach shop and this is one of the biggest weekends of the year. They know this. Their response after reminding them of this? "We'll see what we can do." Guess they are no longer my primary vendor.FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 2

By Palan541 - 10/05/2016 11:54 - United States - Houston

Today, instead of my parents getting me a new bed, they are Making me sleep in the bed my grandma died in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 4

By lilrhody - 10/05/2016 11:53 - United States - Bristol

Today, I accidentally sent my mom a message about going to a rave and dropping x instead of my girlfriend. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 28

By TabooSushi - 10/05/2016 11:45 - United States

Today, I learned that if you have a brain fart and mix up the cleaning steps to the ice cream machine at my job, ice cream can just EXPLODE everywhere. Including on me. It took forever to clean up, and I had to take the trolley home, vaguely sticky and smelling like vanilla soft serve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 7

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my husband booked a restaurant and a trip to the theatre for my birthday, and even got me some nice jewellery. It’s not my birthday. It is his ex-girlfriend’s birthday though. My birthday isn’t for another four months. It’s the thought that counts I suppose. Idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 72

Today, I found out that worms in apples aren't something that you just see in cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 720

You deserved it 6 905

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has a Facebook account. He said he didn't have one. Apparently he's not divorced after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 538

You deserved it 2 325

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 350

You deserved it 4 017

Today, I finally figured out what two kids in my neighborhood have been yelling for what seems like the past month. I don't know where they are exactly, so my efforts to get them to knock it off has almost made me go insane, all from hearing them yell "CHICKEN JOCKEY!" over and over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 70

Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 992

You deserved it 2 606