Nearly FMLs

By IdRatherNot - 10/06/2016 00:57 - Puerto Rico - San Juan

Today, my uncle called telling me he needs the family getaway house (the one I practically live in now) to spend the weekend with his wife. I'm pissed because I was going to have my first time with my girlfriend this weekend and I couldn't tell my family why I actually needed the house so bad. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 59

By bat_girl18 - 10/06/2016 00:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend left for a cruise with his roommate and his family. Everything would have been great if it wasn't for me getting left behind because of work. I had a free ticket to go with him, but my boss wouldn't let me off for that long FML.

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 47

By is it still me that makes you sweat - 09/06/2016 23:13 - United States - King George

Today, at my job as a camp counselor, I met some really cool kids that I would love to be friends with. Too bad I'm an 18 year old girl who recently graduated from high school, and the kids are a couple of 11 year old boys who recently graduated from the fifth grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 30

By babyscarface - 09/06/2016 20:45 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I walked in on my 11 year old sister-in-law holding my 10 month old, in the middle of telling her twin brother, how easy it would be to break my sons little toes but that she wouldn't do that because it would be too messy. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 23

By Pluffzee - 09/06/2016 19:53 - United States

Today, I was about to confess to the guy that I liked, but before I could get a word out of my mouth, he told me that he loved me like a sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 28

By anonymous - 09/06/2016 19:12 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I needed to pee at the gym. One of my headphones fell in the urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 42

By chidisstillfly - 09/06/2016 18:45 - United States - White Plains

Today, I made lunch for myself and my dad complained I never cook for the family but when I cook for the family, no one wants to eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 28

By Drooley - 09/06/2016 17:20 - Germany - Weilburg

Today, I fell asleep in my colleague's car while driving home. I drooled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 40

By skeletondrummer - 09/06/2016 16:23 - United States - Lake Oswego

Today, I told my son to watch for the repair man as I went to change clothes. He asked, "is that him?" and I came out in just my panties to see. He opened the door and I flashed the repair man. He won't stop winking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 66

By Anonymous - 09/06/2016 16:15 - United States - Aurora

Today, I'm a gay male. I have to go to my best friend's (who I am in love with and have been since we were kids) wedding to watch him marry a girl he met 3 months ago.

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 57

By neglected - 09/06/2016 16:08 - United Kingdom - Chard

Today, my dad asked me what my name was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 52

By Anonymous - 09/06/2016 15:56 - United States - Allen

Today, my boyfriend messaged an old crush. He got a new phone yesterday and left the old one home with me. He must've forgotten his old phone was still linked with his facebook because every message she sent back gave me a delightful ding agreeing to meet up at that he was single.

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 22

By AnnaMuffin - 09/06/2016 14:24 - Netherlands - Leiden

Today, I got a letter from my school, stating: 'Congratulations on graduating!'. Then I got an email, saying they sent the wrong letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 30

By llamapartyy - 09/06/2016 14:23 - Netherlands - Roermond

Today, my ex-boyfriend tried to smoke italian spices because he thought it had the same effect as weed. He even acted like he was stoned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 31

By bee unhappy bee unhealthy - 09/06/2016 14:15 - United States - Black Mountain

Today, my best friend's mom backed her car into my dad's. It turns out when she climbed into the car, she sat on a bee. This was the second accident the car had been in since I hand washed it a few days ago. The first was my dad hitting a motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 26

By slowly dying - 09/06/2016 14:11

Today is day 4 of being severely sunburnt on my back. I can't sleep comfortably and now have knots in my shoulders. I can't leave the house because I can't wear properly fitting clothing. And I smell terrible due to the treatment and not being able to shower. Moral of the story: wear sunscreen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 77

By Grossedout - 09/06/2016 13:58 - United States - Naples

Today, I walked out to my garage where my other refrigerator is kept to get one of my favorite limited edition sodas. There was a rat in the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 25

By Jacoder23 - 09/06/2016 13:57 - Philippines - San Juan

Today, I clicked okay when I got an alert saying that my computer was shutting down. You'd think that after programming for a few years you'd at least know when to click cancel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 53

By Fireballs - 09/06/2016 13:52 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, after taking time off of work because my mom was hospitalized for a life threatening condition, my mom asked me if I was having a nice vacation from work. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 17

By Red_Dead_Rock - 09/06/2016 13:18 - United States - Jackson

Today, while I was sexting my girlfriend she afterwards said "hi this is the dad of your girlfriend" FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 27

By Fireballs - 09/06/2016 13:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after months of looking, I finally found a house to buy (that I just love). Found out it's on the same street as one of my employees that I want to fire. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 12

By anonymous - 09/06/2016 09:50 - United States - Inverness

Today, I got my hours cut at work. I wouldn't be so upset about this if it weren't for the fact that the newly hired 16 year old (who spends all shift on his phone) gets full-time hours and now makes more money than me as my subordinate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 47

By anonymous - 09/06/2016 09:12 - United States - American Fork

Today, 90% of my body is covered in a red, peeling, and painful sunburn. Including my eyelids and nipples. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 72

By KingSquisher - 09/06/2016 07:49 - United States - Grass Valley

Today, I learned the hard way that pork jerry caked in Sriracha isn't only spicy on the way in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 62

By NoCar - 09/06/2016 02:23 - United States - Tampa

Today, A woman was destroying her cheating boyfriends car. As I was leaving the cafe I realized it was my car. I've been single for three years.FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 48

By skyttlz - 09/06/2016 02:18 - United States - Longview

Today, I told my boyfriend that the preschool I work at is a peanut-free zone. He then went on a rant about how people these days are "too accommodating" and if he wants to send his kid with peanuts, he damn will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 56

By Caleb Swisher - 09/06/2016 02:14 - United States - Salem

Today, I was making small talk with a player on my baseball team, and I was pointing out a coach I had seen last year yelling and harassing his players. I was telling my teammate how mean and crazy the coach was. He turned and gave me a dirty look, and said "That's my grandpa." FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 62

By tattoo - 09/06/2016 02:13 - Australia - Dandenong

Today, I went to see a specialist doctor. He began by checking my heart and breathing which required lifting my shirt up which he then saw my tattoo. He then stated that tattoo removalists will be making the big bucks when tattoos are no longer cool. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 36

By ihatelife - 09/06/2016 02:08 - United States - Dublin

Today, my boyfriend of a year now broke up with me because his friends were making fun of him for dating me. He literally tells me "I can't handle being made fun of this much" FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 30

By clumsysauce - 09/06/2016 01:48 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I want to get in my car, twisted my ankle in a crack on the road and fell down. Worst part was I had my keys in my hand so I literally keyed my own car on my way down. #FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 38

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend wanted to tell me how much he loves me. He said a lot of wonderful things, such as not being able to live without me and hoping that I would want to live with him and marry him someday. He ended his loving speech with his ex-girlfriend's name instead of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 052

You deserved it 2 956

Today, while at a neighborhood party, my drunk mother told all our neighbors, including a girl I like, about my struggles with a micropenis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 917

You deserved it 2 442

Today, I'm on a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 475

You deserved it 3 249

Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 913

You deserved it 5 897

Today, I tried fixing my bedroom lock because the push button hadn't retracted. When I closed the door, I couldn't open it again because the spring isn't attached to the latch, so that didn't retract either. I'm locked in my own room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 762

You deserved it 578

Today, my ten-year-old daughter now has a habit of going up to random strangers and acting all scared before pointing behind them and whispering, "El Diablo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 212