Nearly FMLs

By pixiesticks - 31/07/2017 20:25

Today after a 4 hour flight home. We were standing waiting to exit. I bent forward slightly to push my jeggings down. I felt a person behind me ... his man parts on my backside. He grabbed my hips like he was getting me from behind.

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 12

By Anonymous - 31/07/2017 16:25

I had been awake for 20 hours and had a connecting flight in Amsterdam with a wait time of 10 hours. My boyfriend of 1 and half years thought that that was the best time to end things by text. I was alone and tired.

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 5

By BeingCommittedDoesntPayOff - 31/07/2017 15:00 - Belgium - Brussels

Today I attended my leaving-the-site party to start my new job. Having been to multiple parties like these I was looking forward to a nice dinner and presents with my colleagues. I was not expecting Subway where I was the designated driver with a team meeting on how to divide my workload.

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 6

By FMLDerps - 31/07/2017 12:30

Today I was changing and my mother walked in without knocking I yelled "KNOCK" and she knocked on the open door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 10

By fmlme17 - 31/07/2017 12:09 - Saudi Arabia - Riyadh

Today, I entered work from the back door because I always feel too awkward to say good morning to the guy in the reception desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 32

By anonymous - 31/07/2017 01:26 - United States - Ogden

Today, my mom randomly asked me what spit roasting is. I was shocked and too embarrassed to tell her what it means. When I asked her where she heard that she said she saw it in a book. WTF Mom! FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 9

By "liz090300" - 31/07/2017 05:59

Today my friend is off to band camp. I told her she could give the band director my new number in case of in emergency. The band director is my ex. Hopefully he doesn't take it the wrong way. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 7

By 16 year old - 31/07/2017 05:54

Today, my dad caught me watching porn and grounded me. Later, he invited my 12 year old little brother to watch Game of Thrones with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 40

By lol - 30/07/2017 22:40 - United States - Crystal Lake

Today, I found out my daddy & my actual dad have started a Facebook group message where they endlessly roast me with embarrassing pictures they've collected ...fml

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 29

By Spice_boi - 31/07/2017 03:48

Today, the girl I was semi-talking to told me she was pregnant. I told her I was thinking about making moves on her but I didn't want to end up having a threesome with a baby. She told me she was joking after that, and it was pretty awkward because that's how she found out I wanted to smash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 57

By Daffy Duck - 31/07/2017 03:04

Today, I tried anal for the first time. I guess air got trapped, because when we laid down, I farted. It sounded like a duck quack. I started laughing (something I do when I'm nervous or embarrassed). The fart continued, as did my laughter, resulting in what sounded like Donald Duck laughing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 14

By Anonymous - 30/07/2017 21:49

Today my boss told me he hired a new worker. He is the my girlfriend's ex. He blames me for her choosing to break up with him. Guess who's the one who has to train him? FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 5

By milksquad - 30/07/2017 13:00

Today, I talked to my roommates about how their messy habits are attracting fruit flies. Later, I found the garbage can on the back porch. They put it out there to get rid of the flies rather than actually throwing out the garbage. Now the flies are even worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 866

You deserved it 255

By So much for constructive criticism - 30/07/2017 10:10

Today my close friend posted a link on her facebook too a site where you send anon constructive criticism. So I took the opportunity to voice something I think she needs work on . She screen shot my message, posted it and dragged me. Saying whoever it is must not be that important too her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 19

By Anonymous - 30/07/2017 09:14

Today I finally got out of my house after a break up that happen a while ago and went to a bridal shower with a co worker... guess who was the brides soon to be husband FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 10

By Welp - 30/07/2017 07:02

Today I called the ambulance because my drunk boyfriend threatened me with a knife and showed signs of an identity disorder. The ambulance personnel told me they couldn't do anything since he was fast asleep. Guess who's now stuck with a psychopathic boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 15

By Michelle - 29/07/2017 18:58 - Canada

Today I was walking to catch bus to work. my bag started slipping off my shoulder. Hooked my thumb under strap to lift back up but thumb slipped and I punched myself in the jaw. All 10 people at usually empty bus stop saw. One guy at least had decency to turn away while laughing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 11

By Somebody That He Used to Know - 29/07/2017 22:59 - United Kingdom - Greenock

Today I found out that my cousin (first) told my uncle I am the most beautiful girl he's ever seen in his life. It made me wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 48

By Anonymous - 29/07/2017 23:56

Today I had a friend over to my apartment for drinks. She used the bathroom before leaving. Later, I realize I had left my butt plug on the counter to dry. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 68

By Stone - 29/07/2017 13:50 - United States - Tampa

Today, My Father refused to lend me 100$ after lending him 800+ dollars a week and a half ago to "fix his car" thats still broken down... FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 12

By 6seven1 - 30/07/2017 02:26 - Guam - Barrigada

Today, I took a sip from a soda and set it down for five minutes to get a snack. It never left my sight when I returned. Later, I tipped the can for my final swig and felt something hit my lips. I poured out the last sip and found a (now dead) roach. It's been there through the entire can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 9

By "littl3storm" - 29/07/2017 13:04

Today my aunt claimed that autism in girls is a lie and is used as an excuse for "different people". Later I became very unsettled due to too many people at the mall and had a "shutdown". She bitched me out for being an attention seeker. I have Asperger's syndrome and I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 7

By "littl3storm" - 29/07/2017 12:00 - United Kingdom - Dagenham

Today, my aunt told me that autism in girls is bullshit and that they only "claim" to have it for attention. I became very unnerved and uncomfortable and avoided eye contact. She then bitched me out for my behaviour saying I was being difficult. I wasn't, I have Asperger's syndrome - badly.

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 8

By "Kami_667" - 29/07/2017 07:35

Today I was gaming and got annoyed at the incessant chirping of my bird so I scared it b holding my dog up to its cage, apparently my dog is also afraid of the bird. Now I have a piss covered keyboard and mouse and two teeth marks in my nose which will meed stitches...FML

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 156

By "ZevraTiver" - 29/07/2017 04:27

Today, My in-laws found "My pipe" on our kitchen counter. It's not mine. But, now I know my brother must have a spare key to the house. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 13

By unlucky - 29/07/2017 02:50

I have to take a licencing exam for my program. It has an application process that takes about a month to process and costs $200. Today was my exam. I could not take the test because I didn't put my second middle name's initial on my application. Now I have send in a new application and another 200

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 12

By CitySlicker727 - 29/07/2017 02:38

Today, while running to catch my train in NYC, I stepped in something and slid about 2 feet. Wondering what I could have stepped in...a smell hit my nose...human shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 28/07/2017 14:16 - United States - Arroyo Grande

Today I was standing in line to use the restroom while waiting my boyfriend left to go talk to a friend I looked over to see who he was talking to and a bunch of children lined up in front of me. When I went to say excuse me I was in line the mother turned to me and said you snooze you loose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 20

By Uggh - 28/07/2017 22:50

Today, my RM refuses to have the router fixed because he simply doesn't care. It's hot as hell outside, I've finished all my books, and I can't afford to drive anywhere for fun. The only thing to do is watch TV. My RM won't watch anything but cheesy western shows. I'm using my data for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 18

By Lily - 28/07/2017 14:45 - United States - Houston

Today, I left my keys in the car. I called my boyfriend and he said he could come during lunch and help me get them. I said no it would be fine, that the garage door was unlocked and I could get in and out that way. Turned out the garage door was not unlocked and I was locked INSIDE my house. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 41

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend decided the best way to inform me of his shoplifting tendencies was to steal stuff while we were at Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 309

You deserved it 4 472

Today, trying to do something nice for my brother, I filled up his truck's gas tank. I didn't realize until too late that it's a diesel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 306

You deserved it 22 199

Today, at work, I had to explain to a customer that she can't connect her tablet to her home WiFi while she's at work. I went to MIT for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 756

You deserved it 817

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 846

You deserved it 3 915

Today, I realised I'm tired of the bossy attitude exuded by the woman who I once believed was my soulmate. Tonight might just be the last night we'd sleep on same bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 211

Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 500

You deserved it 3 406