Nearly FMLs

By I_dont_get_some_people - 13/08/2017 21:43 - Canada

Today at work we had to fire a new employee. She was still in her probationary period, still being trained and is still threatening all of the supervisors and managers for asking her to do work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 13/08/2017 21:31 - United States - Bronx

Today I was feeling sick on a four hour car ride. My husband blasted the a/c and scream sang the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 13/08/2017 19:41 - United States - Trenton

Today, my cat sat on my lap and attacked me every single time I tried to move her. I was stuck like that for 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 40

By Fuzzy - 14/08/2017 01:30

Today, I got ready for work: I shaved my neck, face, upper lip and cheeks, as well as between my eyebrows. I also meticulously used my nose-hair trimmer. I'm female. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 138

You deserved it 386

By Anonymous - 13/08/2017 16:02 - United States

Last night I had to share a twin bed with my younger couisn. In the middle of the night I felt the bed move at a pace thinking it was no big deal. In the morning I come to find out that he was beating off because there was a cum stain on my shorts...smh

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 5

By Sebastian - 13/08/2017 12:36 - United States - Anchorage

Today, boss sent me home early after working for nearly 2 weeks straight. I came home went straight to my room, and as I open the door, I walk into my girlfriend and my sister climaxing at the same time screaming how much they love each other. Looks like I'm in the singles club again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 8

By HearMyStory - 13/08/2017 20:57

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend, when his mother walked in. She took one look at us, and laughed, then decided that then would be a good time to tell her son, "See, I told you fat girls don't know how to give good BJ's! I'm surprised you can hold a boner with all that weight on you." FML.

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 18

By HearMyStory - 13/08/2017 20:51

Today, I forgot my bag in an alleyway near a bank. After nearly having a heart attack, I ran back for it as fast as I could. Good news? The bank security guard found and kept it; waiting for the owner to return. Bad News? 2 minutes before I arrived somebody snatched it from him and ran away. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 6

By abcd1234 - 13/08/2017 14:51 - Australia

Today, I have to go to work as a carer for an extremely observant client (he noticed when I got new shoelaces) with a giant purple hickey on my neck. There goes my professional appearance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26

You deserved it 67

By Sadomasochistic - 13/08/2017 19:40

Today, I had the privilege of hearing both my 5 year old daughter and 80 year old grandmother discuss how neither of them wear bras. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 13/08/2017 19:10

Today I went on a date with my girlfriend. We went to see a movie. A guy sat next to us and there was no where else to move so we stayed.When the movie was done my girlfriend was upset. When I asked why, she told me that through the whole movie the guy next to her was jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 13/08/2017 15:55

My boyfriend of little over two years left my mother and I stranded in the mountains.When I called him, he had already got into his car and was on his way home.His argument?We were walking a few meters in front of him.

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 7

By knowerofnothing - 13/08/2017 02:30 - United States - Las Vegas

today, my "BFF" told me to meet her up at her place after work. I waited 2 hours for her. she did not pick up calls or reply to my texts. As I was leaving, I saw her get on the motorbike with her boyfriend.They went right past me, and I went unnoticed.FM

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 6

By bridare - 13/08/2017 07:40

Recently I had a colposcopy, I can't have sex for two weeks. My bf never ate a girl out before so I washed up after he asked, as soon as he tasted my vagina he looks up at me and goes "It taste like carrot cake that's been sitting out too long."

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 13

By coius - 13/08/2017 02:35

Today a long time customer came back to us asking my company to finish a project another one declined to do. Turns out they were; for 3 months. My employee said "sure" and signed the contract. I saw the work. it will take 4 weeks to complete. Due date is 5 days. My weekend is shot i guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 12/08/2017 20:15 - United States - Hinesville

You know it's a bad camping trip when you go poop in the woods and a mosquito bites you on the nutsack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 13/08/2017 00:46

Today, at the family business, my dad was in the front office while I worked. He then saw a customer pull up so he dropped a big fart and then ducked out the back. I had to suffer while the customer thought it was me as I was trying to serve them.

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 8

By "lk07" - 12/08/2017 15:50 - United States - Midlothian

Today, my friend and I went to a restaurant with my young son along. My friend commented quietly to me while the waitress was getting drinks that she had a camel toe. My son waited until her return to loudly ask "What's a camel toe?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 28

By Howard Davidson III - 12/08/2017 19:28

Today, at my catering job it's usually comprised of only women. Being the only guy the don't have any shirts larger than a large. Now everyone for the entire day gets to see my man titties. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 12

By Crying out loud - 12/08/2017 20:09 - Israel - Zurit

Today my BF got me a coffee in bed. Right after that he told me he thinks we should break up.

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 12/08/2017 12:45 - Australia

Today, I was so broke that I had to eat expired Ramen. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 10

By "peanut1992" - 12/08/2017 18:11

After suffering a severe asthma attack and ending up in hospital I was put on steroids for a week to open up my lungs and throat ... I then had an allergic reaction to the steroids which closed my throat and caused another asthma attack. Hello again hospital!

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 4

By Areyouserious - 12/08/2017 08:28 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, my parents told me to get a job even though I'm already working 10+ hours a week and going to college full-time. It's also the day they booked a trip to San Francisco for the second time this year. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 13

By Anonymous - 12/08/2017 12:48

Today, I went to meet my boyfriends family for the first time. His brother came a bit later so I had already greeted his parents and gotten comfortable. As he walked in I saw it was a guy I spent a night with some months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 58

By G banger - 12/08/2017 17:07 - Singapore - Singapore

Today I went on a date with a girl. It went well until we were making out, we strip each other and she laughed when she saw my thong underwear. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 19

You deserved it 78

By Ugh - 12/08/2017 09:06

Today I was about to take my kids to school, when I asked them what they normally did at school. My youngest son said that they were about to learn where babies come from. He's 6. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 14

By Once Bitten - 12/08/2017 08:51

Today, I went on an amazing date! The guy was amazing, the activities were wonderful, and I got a phenomenal kiss. However, when he went to show me his pet snake, who is the "most gentle and harmless snake ever", it must've wanted to kiss me too, because I now have a snake bite. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 10

By Shouldhaveasked - 12/08/2017 08:51

Today I got my check from my last temp job. The job was so disgusting I felt like I was in the movie Get Out. I was supposed to earn 60$ before tax. I got $19. Why? This is my first time being hired and I didn't fully understand everything so I checked health benefits even though I didn't need it.

I agree, your life sucks 22

You deserved it 53

By spedicey2 - 12/08/2017 07:05

Today, someone accidentally used my phone number for their contact on Craigslist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 8

By "JdogMeier" - 12/08/2017 06:22

So me and my girlfriend were having sex, and a notification went off on my phone, but I ignored it. 15 minutes later I realized it was my brothers girlfriend saying she was coming over to drop off groceries as she walked in on us at climax...F M L

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 18

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The Top

Today, at school, I got seated in front of the resident creepy kid that everyone stays away from. I was pretty relieved to get through most of the class with no incidents, until the bell rang and he tore out a chunk of my hair, yelling, "DNA! DNA!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 458

You deserved it 4 145

Today, my boyfriend of 10 years won’t marry me until all my debts are paid off, which will take me 10 to 12 years to do. To add insult to injury, he’s been using intimacy as part of a reward system for me, and no matter how hard I try to earn it and as much as I initiate like he wants, he keeps turning me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 479

Today, I found out my dad has been using the flip-flops I wear in the shower. The reason I wear them is to prevent myself from getting his nasty foot fungus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 911

You deserved it 1 677

Today, I went to the movies on a date. I went to pay for the tickets when I realized that I didn't have my wallet. Instead of my boyfriend paying, he laughed and paid for his own ticket. Then he went ahead and saw the movie without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 375

You deserved it 7 550

Today, I was screamed at by a lady for riding my bike too slowly in front of her car. I was in the bike lane, and so was she. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 484

You deserved it 4 544

Today, I was working in a warehouse where fellow employees were kicking empty boxes around. Seeing a box, I got running distance and kicked it as hard as I could, only to look up in horror to see that I had kicked into our CEO's face. I still had both my arms up in score mode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 573

You deserved it 50 607