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The all-time greatest FMLs

Trauma dumping

By Anonymous - 20/06/2023 10:00 - Canada - Belleville

Today, my partner of 4 years has told me that trying to be emotionally present and initiate affection from time to time is too much of a change for them to handle. I wish they had said that the first time I brought it up, instead of stringing me along. Oh, but they "love me". Just not enough to be a better person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 204

By L'hommeCultivé - 07/05/2015 06:59 - China - Beijing

Today, I was visiting a magnificent Taoïst Temple in China all while eating an apple. After few galleries, I got to the giant statue in the center of the temple where people were praying. I saw a trash can so I threw my apple away. When I saw everyone giving me the death stare, I figured out that it was the donations box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 508

Wrong place, wrong time

By Anonymous - 23/08/2020 23:02

Today, my boyfriend are I are staying at his parents' while they are away. While having sex in their bed, the whole bed went crashing to the floor. We have no idea what to do, and we leave tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 2 415

They say romance is dead…

By Anonymous - 12/12/2024 03:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I finally went on a date with a guy who’s been begging to take me out for weeks. I’m terrified of dating but, after consulting with my friends, I decided to give it a shot as he seemed nice. He told me during the date that he has a girlfriend, but he just fantasizes about hooking up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 96

Alexa, play "Career Opportunities" by The Clash

By Anonymous - 23/06/2021 02:01

Today, I realized I freaking hate my career. I've only got through a semester, but I feel like I can't end the four years it takes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 193

Stand your ground

By No justice anywhere - 26/11/2025 12:00

Today, some guy tried to mug me. Shocked, I threw a punch that somehow knocked him on his ass. I'm now staring down the barrel of a lawsuit since he was apparently only 16 and "acting out" because of his shitty home life, as if I should have just handed him my wallet politely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 64

Zero stars on Trip Advisor

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I have an awful stomach virus. I can only drink liquids and can't eat anything solid, especially anything spicy. My dad forced me to eat the fajitas he'd made for dinner and screamed at me when I told him I couldn't, then screamed at me again for "wasting food" when I predictably threw up all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 91

Rebel stuff

By Anonymous - 23/05/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - Tamworth

Today, while working in my shop, I was mopping the floor. A customer saw what I was doing, grabbed a bottle of Coca-Cola from the shelf, and poured it all over the floor where I had just finished mopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 83

I would do anything for my kids

By Claus - 07/10/2023 22:00

Today, I took my kids to an indoor playground. My two year-old wanted me to climb the rock wall and ring the bell. I slipped right when I was about to touch it. I landed wrong and felt a 'POP' and agony. Hello, broken ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 156

Blast from the past

By Anonymous - 16/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my mother told me I'm forbidden from hanging out with one of my friends. This happened after she was with us in a parking lot, and one of mom's smartass coworkers blasted his horn at us from a parked car to jolt us. My friend had a screaming breakdown; she has PTSD from losing her dad and sister in a car crash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 170

Groove is in the Heart

By samba_spaz - 19/09/2019 06:01 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was at my usual drum circle. This guy I'd never seen before showed up and started playing an unfamiliar beat. Thinking he was new, I tried to teach him what to play. Turns out he was a professional drummer and was playing an advanced version of the groove I was trying to teach him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 2 177

Unreasonable

By Busting my hump - 17/01/2024 00:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, I'm on my sixth straight day of double shifts, with four more to go. I make overtime so I'm not complaining, but today my wife texted me, "Going out of town tonight, I expect the house to be spotless when I return." Not sure how I'm going to swing this one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 130

Functional

By Anonymous - 15/12/2023 06:00

Today, I knew my son was obsessed with Anime, which is fine because he has a job, and seems like a functional human being, but this afternoon he sent out invites to all our relatives to a virtual reality wedding, where he will marry some sort of nonexistent cartoon girl called "Wife Fu." FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 168

Instadrama

By etahrabayraa - 27/06/2020 08:08

Today, I was stalking a popular girl from my high school's account and my phone went bonkers. It looks like I liked and disliked the same video of hers over and over. I disabled my Instagram account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 1 661

Toxic masculinity

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 08:00

Today, my uncle was showing the scars he got fighting a wolf in defence of his wife. On the drive home, my girlfriend dumped me because she could never see me being man enough to fight a wolf for her. She made me stop the car so she could catch a bus back to her mom's house and never see me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 157

Underappreciated

By Anonymous - 29/04/2025 09:00 - Germany

Today, I cook, clean, do laundry, wash the dishes, clean the bathroom, do grocery shopping, take the mental load for everything, take care of the kids, keep them engaged without screens, have a full-time job, do well at my job, and earn well - which I give to my husband fully. Only for him to ask me, "What do you even do here?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 158

What's wrong with me?

By Anonymous - 23/12/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the guy I was seeing told me he only wants to be friends. Every guy I've dated in the last 10 years has lost interest after we've had sex for the first time, and nobody will tell me why or what I did wrong. I'm going to die alone and I don't even know why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 219

These aren't moans of pleasure

By Anonymous - 12/04/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I hooked up with a guy I know from the gym. This dude is built like The Hulk, over 6 feet tall and almost 24 stone. We were really getting into it when he slipped and his whole weight went onto my knee, which bent completely the wrong way and dislocated everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 153

It's all too much

By Anonymous - 23/06/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 106

Sneaky sneezy

By Worn Out - 12/11/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, I sneezed four times in succession. The problem is that I've never sneezed more than three times in a row in my life, so the fourth one came as such a shock to me that I accidentally banged my head on my desk when it occurred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 297

Why so serious?

By Cynic - 15/11/2022 14:00 - United States

Today, I've come to accept that no matter how black-and-white an issue is, someone will always side with the obviously wrong point of view and take themselves 100% seriously while doing it. I don't want to live on this planet anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 442

Failson

By Anonymous - 17/09/2023 20:00

Today, I gave my son a job as a shelf stacker in one of my stores. He is in his thirties and is so dumb that he has been fired from every other job for incompetence. I don’t want him to starve or lose his flat, but I also couldn’t give him an important job in case he screwed it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 202

The blame game

By Anonymous - 16/01/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, it's been two days since firefighters broke into my friend's home to get her out. She has health issues rendering her disabled and immobile. She was living amongst her own feces and urine, mould, rats eating her feet, etc. She told me about the filth three days ago, and now blames me for everything since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 145

Slow moving accident

By Anonymous - 16/01/2021 14:01

Today, I got into an accident, driving pretty slowly on a left turn signal trying to avoid a curb, sticking it out for too long, breaking a car's sideview mirror and causing scratches. The police was called. I have to appear in court for a misdemeanour for my first offence ever. Good bye student visa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 466

Failure on every level

By Jason - 07/12/2022 06:00

Today, I had a beautiful dream. I dreamed that I somehow got into Stanford University, but in class I couldn't keep up with them. In reality, I'm terrible at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 148

Kill it with fire

By Anonymous - 31/05/2022 06:00 - Germany - Moormerland

Today, my dad reactivated a digital clock we had lying around, and accidentally set an alarm on it. For 1 a.m.. So guess who went hunting for that noise in the middle of night. And guess who banished the thing to the living room, then forgot about it, and slept on the sofa in said living room. Or tried to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 230

Movie night

By nah - 11/06/2021 11:01

Today, my boyfriend finally convinced me to watch Harry Potter for the first time. I was bored out of my mind the entire time, and by about an hour in, all I could think about was how badly I wanted to punch Hermione for being a rude little know it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 1 741

Worried

By Anonymous - 16/09/2023 08:00

Today, I texted a friend saying I urgently needed his help. He gushed back along the lines of, "Glad you reached out, everyone has noticed your terrible frame of mind, you’re a suicide risk." I meant help with a tricky Excel spreadsheet, but thanks for the support I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 139

Very much "hands off" parents

By Anonymous - 03/10/2023 08:00

Today, my son had an excessive nosebleed, like I did when I was little. I called my parents to ask what the name of the surgery was that I had to stop the bleeding. They don’t know because they don’t remember me needing surgery for that, OR when I had my tonsils and adenoids removed. They remember my brother’s though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 123

Brain freeze

By what - 16/02/2023 22:00

Today, at the ripe old age of 24, I briefly forgot my own name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 170

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The Top

Today, I missed out on my first cooking lesson because I was an hour late. I cannot go to the rest of them because if you don't attend the first class then you are not allowed to attend the rest. I just spent $70 on a cooking course that I won't be able to attend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 279

You deserved it 12 175

Today, I spent six hours at the ER. Why? My husband dared our seventeen-year-old son to recreate a 'Jackass' trolley-hedge diving stunt at the local supermarket. What wasn't on my groceries list was a broken arm, fractured wrist, whiplash and cuts and bruises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 541

You deserved it 5 140

Today, I found out that shirt sizes don't get longer, they get wider. Being 6ft4, every shirt I try on makes me look like a cheap stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 668

You deserved it 3 295

Today, my grandpa moved into the house to live with my family. Along with having to share a room with him, he swears that having the AC on will give him pneumonia, and he keeps saying he's "freezing" when the temperature inside gets below 85. We live in Nevada. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 838

You deserved it 3 565

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 105

You deserved it 24 148

Today, my best friend asked me to be the best man at his wedding. I had to decline because the bride's family has deep prison gang ties and I'm a correctional officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 389

You deserved it 562