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Today, I walked into work, after having given my boss a weather prediction last week, so he could decide on which day to open a new company division. I was immediately taken aside and written up for "providing false information, adversley impacting morale". FML

#20122652
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17966) - you deserved it (1985)

On 10/18/2012 at 3:40pm - work - by johnnyfuckfacer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML

#20111523
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17966) - you deserved it (2423)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:08am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sent to a customer's house to switch out a washing machine. My boss had assured me that everything I'd need was already in the truck. Halfway there, I ran out of gas and I realized I didn't have the gas card. My boss says it's my fault. FML

#19543388
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17962) - you deserved it (6687)

On 04/28/2012 at 5:21pm - work - by wowzers0889 - United States (New York)

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

#14614726
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17956) - you deserved it (43754) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

#19187510
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17956) - you deserved it (45936)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it was the elections for Student Council President. I decided to be nice and vote for the only other competitor because it was her birthday. I lost by one vote. FML

#5876259
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17953) - you deserved it (48186)

On 10/18/2009 at 8:25am - misc - by presidont (woman) - Switzerland

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

#2412589
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17947) - you deserved it (43059)

On 05/29/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by pissingcontest (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

#15689615
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17946) - you deserved it (75376)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -

Today, I was convinced I hadn't locked up properly when leaving work, and almost had a panic attack at the train station. I went all the way back into work, to find I had in fact locked up properly. It made me nearly two hours late home. This isn't the first time I've done this. FML

#19953663
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17946) - you deserved it (8562)

On 07/18/2012 at 4:57am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I was interviewing a cute guy for my journalism class, and he asked to borrow my laptop to check his email quickly. After the interview, I realized that the last thing I had searched for on my browser's Google box was "ingrown pubic hairs," and it was still up there. FML

#115661
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17944) - you deserved it (33058)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by loserface (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was going to end a thing I had with this guy. It turned out that he got back together with his ex-girlfriend and was just using me as a back up. FML

#2522
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17944) - you deserved it (3417)

On 01/25/2009 at 11:47am - love - by thesporkhop - United States (Nevada)

Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML

#102926
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17943) - you deserved it (57315)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML

#880527
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17941) - you deserved it (68737)

On 04/09/2009 at 1:04am - love - by skmusic (man) - Canada (Manitoba)



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