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Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML

#6753544
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9064) - you deserved it (57917)

On 12/14/2009 at 6:26pm - love - by toiletgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML

Today, I woke up extremely hungover next to a guy I have been in love with for a while but hadn't seen for ages. Turns out he had a bet going with his mates. He bet he could get me to sleep with him straight away even after not calling me for a month. He was right. FML

#6131702
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9062) - you deserved it (23901)

On 11/03/2009 at 4:25am - intimacy - by Lovestupid (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I went to the DMV to get my license. I almost ran over my evaluator as he was walking to get in the car. FML

#18960427
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9061) - you deserved it (20123)

On 01/31/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by baddriver (man) - United States

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

#5291551
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9057) - you deserved it (103703)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent an hour cleaning my already-clean house to avoid any form of conversation with my boyfriend. FML

#19071135
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9057) - you deserved it (23033)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:50am - love - by kiwi023 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I posted a note on Facebook about a weird dream I had about my ex-boyfriend, where I made out with him, then it transitioned into a vampires vs. werewolves battle. My ex private messages me and says there's a better chance of a vampires vs. werewolves battle than us ever making out again. FML

#6584536
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9054) - you deserved it (41760)

On 12/03/2009 at 2:34pm - love - by ohiochibi (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, working my pizza delivery job, I got a $45 parking ticket for parking in a no stopping zone. I argued with the bylaw enforcement officer, but no luck. I was so pissed, I yelled at him: "You have the worst job in the world", to which he replied: " Buddy, you deliver pizza!" FML

#5876568
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9049) - you deserved it (48393)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:39am - work - by nick (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML

#8706906
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9047) - you deserved it (28418)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:36am - work - by chevysprint (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized that the guy I've been sending anonymous, dirty emails to knows who I am. My signature, which includes my full name, was automatically added to the end of every email. FML

#17221822
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9046) - you deserved it (75734)

On 07/22/2011 at 9:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I went to contest a parking ticket in court. I came out 3 hours later, all charges clear, to a new parking ticket on my windshield, for the same amount I just got cleared. FML

#7497473
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9045) - you deserved it (25865)

On 01/22/2010 at 11:28am - misc - by sdfsdf - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I stopped at the light when someone crashed on to my motorcycle making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I forgot to lift the helmet shield. FML

#5719271
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9044) - you deserved it (46120)

On 10/08/2009 at 8:22am - misc - by lumacsp - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I think teddy bears are THE most pointless and careless gift. He shyly gave me my birthday present afterwards. It was a carebear. FML

#94960
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9040) - you deserved it (59274)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by eejit (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)



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