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Today, I tried to go to the gym, but I ended up watching cat videos on YouTube for three hours. FML

#19791305
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9762) - you deserved it (34435)

On 06/15/2012 at 7:27am - health - by latino14 - United States (Maryland)

Today, while playing a gig with my band, I tried pulling the classic "playing the guitar with one foot on the monitor" rock-star pose. However, I misjudged the height of the monitor, didn't notice the puddle of beer in front of it, slipped, and fell off the stage into the security guy. FML

#17679142
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9759) - you deserved it (24321)

On 09/06/2011 at 8:07am - misc - by NotKeithRichards - United States (Oregon)

Today, I discovered my boyfriend is incredibly ticklish on the bottom of his feet. Trying to be a bit flirty, I slowly slid two fingers down his calf and mockingly tickled his feet. He reacted by inadvertently elbowing me in the nose, nearly breaking it. FML

#16128165
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9758) - you deserved it (38648)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML

#19857408
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9757) - you deserved it (37615)

On 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm - kids - by apparantlyStupid - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML

#5953871
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9754) - you deserved it (35489)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:01am - work - by E.S. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML

#18384979
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9750) - you deserved it (60008)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm - misc - by seanjohn268 (man) - Canada

Today, I gave my friend a ride to town so she wouldn't have to pay the $10 to park. While waiting to pick her up, I grabbed a bite to eat. Upon returning to my car, I found a $55 parking ticket on my windshield. FML

#14085291
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9749) - you deserved it (23444)

On 12/04/2010 at 4:04pm - money - by Username - United States

Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML

#20167475
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9745) - you deserved it (26090)

On 11/18/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML

#19245135
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9738) - you deserved it (31590)

On 03/09/2012 at 11:55am - misc - by h4rdy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we need to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML

#19457923
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9738) - you deserved it (33200)

On 04/12/2012 at 9:02pm - misc - by marymark - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while leaving school to skip fourth period, I hit someone's car in the parking lot. It was the teacher's whose class I was going to skip. FML

#88598
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9738) - you deserved it (52834)

On 02/20/2009 at 2:21pm - misc - by Ava777 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I fainted and woke up in a hospital. My mom drove me to the emergency room. The doctor said I had a panic attack. What did I have a panic attack from? Bidding on ebay. FML

#6713073
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9735) - you deserved it (26623)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by graospe (woman) - United States (California)



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