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Today, I got annoyed with my mum stopping in her tracks each time she needed to reply to a text message. I tried to show her that you can walk and text at the same time. I ended up falling into a drain. FML

#5100044
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8435) - you deserved it (48662)

On 09/07/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by misstree (woman) - Singapore

Today, at the bank, I went to get some coffee from their machine. I gave it my money and pressed the buttons but nothing was happening. After banging on the machine for ten minutes and calling a teller over, a little boy reached up on his tippy toes to press the giant green START button for me. FML

#3145872
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8433) - you deserved it (56646)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by Tygastyle (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, me and couple of friends were driving around town and saw a lady who had accidentally backed her car up onto a concrete wall. Laughing, we all turned to look as we passed and I drove straight into a parked police car at 30 that had stopped to help her. FML

#546076
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8430) - you deserved it (92952)

On 03/23/2009 at 12:31am - misc - by mbrooke (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8430) - you deserved it (38128)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my math TA showed the class how one of her "dumb" students answered a test question. Everyone laughed as she wrote out the students answer, including myself, until I looked down at my answer sheet and saw that I submitted an identical answer. FML

#6693694
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8427) - you deserved it (25034)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML

#18767011
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8427) - you deserved it (57348)

On 01/10/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by Tom Ali - United States

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to take a short cut driving through the snow. I skidded to avoid an oncoming car and ended up in someone's garden, inches from their brand new extension. The house belonged to a police officer. FML

#14045212
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8425) - you deserved it (26963)

On 12/01/2010 at 5:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire)

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop and I noticed that there was a bug on the guys face in front of me. Trying to be nice I lightly smacked it off. His reaction was to punch me in the face. Repeatedly. FML

#6826579
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8425) - you deserved it (37296)

On 12/19/2009 at 11:07am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML

#15486650
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8424) - you deserved it (52952)

On 03/25/2011 at 7:05pm - misc - by freshman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML

#19890601
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8423) - you deserved it (32066)

On 07/04/2012 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML

#18128181
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8420) - you deserved it (34745)

On 11/01/2011 at 10:52am - health - by pain - United States

Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML

#19247694
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8420) - you deserved it (35657)

On 03/09/2012 at 8:56pm - kids - by mikey51 (man) - Australia



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