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Today, I realized the guy I like is not deaf. This would normally be good news. However, for the past two weeks I assumed he was deaf after seeing him use sign language. I've been openly talking about him within earshot. FML

#13049804
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7602) - you deserved it (42794)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:00pm - love - by Jackie - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I spend the same amount of money on my phone bill as I do on Nutella. FML

#20123737
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7602) - you deserved it (23716)

On 10/19/2012 at 10:19am - health - by Nutellalover (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I put my paint brush into my cup of tea. FML

#1815
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7601) - you deserved it (18092)

On 01/20/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by Petridishoflove - Hong Kong

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

#14533477
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7599) - you deserved it (34627)

On 01/10/2011 at 2:06pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

#19406343
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7599) - you deserved it (35556)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a hot guy at the laundromat. Wanting an excuse to talk to him, I tossed a pair of my red underwear into his washer. What I didn't realize was that he was washing his whites. Thanks to me, he now has an entire load of pink shirts and boxers. FML

#16374822
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7598) - you deserved it (70242)

On 05/27/2011 at 4:52pm - love - by nicole - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face. FML

#5894935
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7587) - you deserved it (55408)

On 10/19/2009 at 11:42am - love - by DrunkGirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was driving in stop and go traffic and passed two accidents in the process. I got nervous and decided to change routes to avoid getting hit. As I was trying to find an alternative route on my GPS, I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

#15333095
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7586) - you deserved it (50155)

On 03/16/2011 at 2:54am - misc - by dumbluck - United States

Today, I spent ages looking for a parking space at the mall. I saw a couple walking out of the mall and decided to follow them and take their space when they left. After following them for a good ten minutes, I realised they were heading to the bus stop. FML

#14155687
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7582) - you deserved it (27894)

On 12/10/2010 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, after lunch with my frail, disabled, 87-year-old father, I reached into my purse for lipstick. I didn't recognize the cute cylinder I pulled out, but thinking it was a flashlight, I pressed the little button, spraying my dad and myself in the face with pepper spray. FML

#13104906
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7577) - you deserved it (30743)

On 09/18/2010 at 9:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder. FML

Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML

#20512812
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7574) - you deserved it (48437)

On 02/18/2013 at 10:21pm - misc - by hhhhhhhpeterwut - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML

#898279
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7573) - you deserved it (72966)

On 04/10/2009 at 6:17am - misc - by blah (man) - United States (Idaho)



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