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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boss told me that I'd confessed my love to him last night when he'd held my hair back as I puked. FML

#13510751
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10302) - you deserved it (31024)

On 10/19/2010 at 11:24am - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML

#20107434
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10299) - you deserved it (32062)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by blabbermouth (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, my mother called to say that my 11 year old nephew found my secret stash of nipple tassles, furry hand cuffs, and a bottle of lube. He doesn't want to visit me anymore. FML

#5874
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10298) - you deserved it (27720)

On 02/03/2009 at 1:51am - kids - by peneloperigby (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was walking outside when I saw my best friend about 100 meters away. I began running towards her, arms flailing, screaming out a tribal battle cry. It wasn't until I was nearly on top of her that I realised it was someone else. FML

#13088642
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10295) - you deserved it (32900)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by ellinor (woman) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)

Today, my girlfriend and I watched Juno. When the baby is born in the film, I put my arm around my girlfriend and whispered in her ear that one day it could be us having a baby. She responded by punching me in the happy sacks and telling me I wasn't getting any from her in a long time. FML

#5931603
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10292) - you deserved it (27911)

On 10/21/2009 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Ouch (man) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML

#17649868
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10286) - you deserved it (47157)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by only1bigdogme - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my computer stopped working. Me, the technology challenged one, decided to do a system recovery on it hoping that I could make it better. Turns out, system recovery means deleting all the files off the computer including family photos, music and assignments and starting fresh. FML

#5636534
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10285) - you deserved it (48712)

On 10/04/2009 at 3:03am - misc - by rebeccaremily - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was changing in the back seat of my new truck when it started to roll backwards. In my haste to reach the brake, I hit my head and fell face first into the steering wheel. I then realized that it wasn't rolling. The car next to me was just pulling out. FML

#13223022
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10286) - you deserved it (25608)

On 09/27/2010 at 3:22pm - misc - by milhouse86 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had pancakes for breakfast, and without realizing it, I got syrup in my hair. After breakfast, I went to straighten my hair, only to burn the syrup and have it get stuck in my hair. There was no time to shower and it smelled. FML

#8716792
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10279) - you deserved it (20065)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:10pm - misc - by maddy - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized I have no life after I created a fake Facebook account, posted an insulting message on my wall, and then engaged in a vicious argument with it, just so I could impress my friends. FML

#17026908
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10277) - you deserved it (51936)

On 07/08/2011 at 10:57am - misc - by jen - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML

#7644201
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10275) - you deserved it (31587)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:21pm - love - by Whoops - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a hand cramp from popping zits on my face. FML

#19268637
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10272) - you deserved it (21599)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:03am - health - by pagvscgrac - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied "They worked on you." FML

#5203249
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10271) - you deserved it (42189)

On 09/12/2009 at 8:00am - love - by TrainedBF (man) - United States (Arizona)



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