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Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML

#11322556
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19074) - you deserved it (28848)

On 06/20/2010 at 12:11am - health - by LoveYouTooMa (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

#62325
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19073) - you deserved it (49012)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I took my girlfriend out bowling. The place was not only packed, but on my very first attempt, I stumbled and landed flat on my "sugarbuns" about 6 feet down the lane. Everyone pointed and laughed hysterically, including my girlfriend, who was on the floor almost in tears, enjoying my pain. FML

#8479975
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19072) - you deserved it (8626)

On 02/20/2010 at 1:58pm - misc - by moobysrocks - United States

Today, I was complaining to my roommate that I never get asked out. Then, at work, a mentally challenged man left me his phone number on his pay ticket. Well, I guess I can't complain about never getting asked out. FML

#8430991
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19070) - you deserved it (6921)

On 02/19/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19070) - you deserved it (4315)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to hunt down and collect a stray dog's feces for my parasitology class. FML

#20041168
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19069) - you deserved it (3174)

On 08/25/2012 at 3:11pm - animals - by missTyfied (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML

#20173388
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19067) - you deserved it (3999)

On 11/22/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by zzz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend's guinea pig managed to go down her shirt. I have been dating her for 3 weeks and I haven't even kissed her yet. FML

#6301
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19066) - you deserved it (39641)

On 02/03/2009 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by Merdoc (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML

#20425068
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19066) - you deserved it (25083)

On 12/27/2012 at 1:46am - health - by pipefitter28 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I wanted to join the bus drivers strike. I couldn't… the buses were on strike. FML

#473
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19060) - you deserved it (4926)

On 12/08/2008 at 9:03pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was feeling really good about myself for running and walking everywhere so much so that I was out of breath and panting. Well, until I remembered that I was playing a video game and it was my character that was doing the running around that is. FML

#21063762
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19051) - you deserved it (41618)

On 02/17/2014 at 8:57pm - health - by Tomb Raider Wannabe (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going really well until I noticed a bug on my interviewer's lower neck. I shouted that something really disgusting was crawling on him. It turns out it was his big hairy mole. FML

#1125126
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19048) - you deserved it (58228)

On 04/19/2009 at 5:52pm - work - by Crunchy (woman) - United States (California)



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