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Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML

#19406628
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13327) - you deserved it (30880)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the pipe in the dining room sink suddenly broke open and in about 15 minutes my entire apartment was turned into an indoor swimming pool. The worst part? I was there the entire time, playing video games with my headphones on. FML

#16205255
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13311) - you deserved it (42758)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:04pm - misc - by o.v. (man) - Bangladesh

Today, I realized that my Twitter profile was very public when my business professor made fun of student tweets in class. My tweet went, "Totally bullshitting this business report" about the report I had just handed in, worth a large portion of my grade. FML

#20584642
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13300) - you deserved it (79608)

On 04/11/2013 at 3:49am - work - by imscrewed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML

#17803687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13299) - you deserved it (30107)

On 09/22/2011 at 9:55am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had a Biochemistry quiz. I studied all night but took a nap to get some rest because my quiz was in the morning. I woke up at 10 feeling very confident. My quiz was at 9. FML

#5841442
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13286) - you deserved it (25621)

On 10/15/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by sleepy (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML

#3763600
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13285) - you deserved it (62198)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML

#4151663
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13286) - you deserved it (45487)

On 07/30/2009 at 1:46am - intimacy - by solomantis (man) - Norway (Oslo) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I told a friend that he looked smarter with his glasses on. He took them off and said "oh, and now you look more handsome". FML

#141
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13281) - you deserved it (36537)

On 10/29/2008 at 7:08am - misc - by loser - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I went to the gas station, paid the clerk, and drove off without pumping any gas. FML

#18921610
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13276) - you deserved it (35322)

On 01/26/2012 at 11:46pm - money - by ChevRooon - United States

Today, I was in the cafeteria when I noticed a new worker cleaning a table. As I passed her, she looked up and smiled at me. Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes and smiled back. She looked hurt and continued working. Later, she served me my lunch. She was actually cross-eyed. FML

#2774700
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13274) - you deserved it (69342)

On 06/10/2009 at 3:42pm - work - by crosseyed (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left for Miami. Turns out it doesn't happen right away like in the movies, it happens six hours later in front of your girlfriends parents, that you've just met for the first time at a very upperclass restaurant. FML

#3355159
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13274) - you deserved it (52220)

On 06/30/2009 at 1:14am - health - by POLYBLOT (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to have a drink with my friend. On the way I withdrew 20 bucks and when I arrived at the bar I realised I had taken my credit card but not the banknote. FML

#247
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13271) - you deserved it (22903)

On 11/07/2008 at 4:02pm - money - by choup - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML

#20528725
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13265) - you deserved it (73292)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:38pm - love - by douchegamer - New Zealand (Auckland)



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