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Today, I called a friend of mine who was recently in an accident. She told me that the head trauma has caused her to lose all sense of smell and taste. To try and cheer her up, I suggested I take her out to lunch. FML

#18372646
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8702) - you deserved it (29303)

On 11/28/2011 at 1:30am - health - by MB - United States (Texas)

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8701) - you deserved it (105750)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was supposed to talk to my girlfriend's mom to ask permission to date her daughter but I chickened out. We've been together for almost a year, but have not been on a real date because I am too damn scared of her family. FML

#8913654
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8694) - you deserved it (40681)

On 03/08/2010 at 3:33am - love - by imafrickenidiot - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a spray tan for homecoming. While I was dancing, I got really sweaty and the spray tan rubbed off on the guy's white tux. FML

#13241516
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8692) - you deserved it (44689)

On 09/28/2010 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was babysitting three little kids. I decided to give one of them (a seven-year-old) a piggy-back ride, thinking I'm strong enough. I managed to get a few feet before faceplanting on the wooden floor. She is fine though, no pain or anything. My face took the impact for both of us. FML

#7693157
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8692) - you deserved it (22456)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:05am - kids - by ouchy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML

#16286045
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8692) - you deserved it (58115)

On 05/21/2011 at 7:33pm - misc - by aridaley - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML

#17945907
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8685) - you deserved it (29897)

On 10/09/2011 at 7:28pm - love - by Slayer - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. When he saw I had something in my pocket, he began to ask if it was a weapon. After arguing for a few minutes I was put in handcuffs. I was too embarrassed to pull the tampon out my pocket. FML

#13537704
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8681) - you deserved it (41762)

On 10/21/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by Victoria - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was bragging about how I had lost 10 pounds. Grinning, I pulled my shirt up and tried to show how big my jeans were on me. Instead, the button flew off my pants. FML

#19460207
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8681) - you deserved it (25376)

On 04/13/2012 at 6:32am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went running to the gym on the way to work and I forgot to bring a spare shirt. All I have to wear is a wet white tshirt. FML

#448
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8679) - you deserved it (17426)

On 12/04/2008 at 2:23am - work - by RadYoHeaD - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I wrote a fake phone number on my neck to make it look like someone had hit on me. FML

#17702973
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8677) - you deserved it (37605)

On 09/09/2011 at 8:10am - love - by Kevin (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I finally got a tattoo of an alchemy symbol that I've wanted for years. I also found out later that symbol stands for urine. FML

#20539190
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8677) - you deserved it (45084)

On 03/11/2013 at 3:43am - misc - by PeeLeg (woman) -

Today, I re-dislocated my arm trying to get it out of the cast it was in because I didn't want to pay the $50 dollar fee to get it taken off. FML

#4660097
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8676) - you deserved it (86535)

On 08/19/2009 at 5:02pm - health - by flaps (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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