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Today, I went downstairs to grab a snack and a glass of Silk (you know, the soymilk). When I get back to my room, I go to throw the snack on my bed to shut the door, but I tossed with the wrong hand. FML

#1926
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10278) - you deserved it (18971)

On 01/20/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by crystalwho - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, for the first time all month I felt truly proud and accomplished. I finally figured out how to change the toilet seat. FML

#16246614
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10274) - you deserved it (20511)

On 05/18/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw a small bug on the wall, so I decided to send it straight to the insect afterlife by smashing it with a book. The book crushed it, and caused my clock to come free from the wall and crash down onto my TV. FML

#20075179
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10272) - you deserved it (22050) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/16/2012 at 6:50pm - animals - by romainmain - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, I added some of my own money to the tip jar in the Subway I work at to make myself look less pathetic. FML

#7333301
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10270) - you deserved it (20729)

On 01/14/2010 at 1:59am - work - by OverweightTeen (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML

#19460491
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10266) - you deserved it (27076)

On 04/13/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I finally bought a car, after saving up for a year. My dealer had told me it was a good buy, so I snapped it up then and there. On the way home, the rear axle practically fell out of the car due to frame rot. My dealer wants to buy the car back at half the price. FML

#19587863
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10264) - you deserved it (25554)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:40pm - money - by exalia (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML

#20107434
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10256) - you deserved it (31981)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by blabbermouth (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML

#20443608
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10255) - you deserved it (38427)

On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, at physical therapy, the girl next to me had a blue armband. I said, "Hey, sweet iPod". She said, "Actually, I have diabetes." FML

#56080
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10254) - you deserved it (36655)

On 02/16/2009 at 8:31pm - health - by LA (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

#11848419
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10251) - you deserved it (35736)

On 07/13/2010 at 9:41am - health - by E or - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML

#4404906
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10250) - you deserved it (57167)

On 08/09/2009 at 8:43am - love - by hugedissapointment (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML

#17649868
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10250) - you deserved it (47062)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by only1bigdogme - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was changing in the back seat of my new truck when it started to roll backwards. In my haste to reach the brake, I hit my head and fell face first into the steering wheel. I then realized that it wasn't rolling. The car next to me was just pulling out. FML

#13223022
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10249) - you deserved it (25541)

On 09/27/2010 at 3:22pm - misc - by milhouse86 (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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