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Today, I made out with my friend for the first time. He gave me a hickey that can't be hidden. I'm the president of my church youth group and I have to help give a seminar on keeping your body like a holy temple... Tomorrow. FML

#7900233
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9397) - you deserved it (54731)

On 02/05/2010 at 5:35am - love - by hickey (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was studying late and kept hearing weird screeching sounds from outside. I couldn't figure out what it was and started getting really freaked out. It wasn't until later that I realized it was just my nose whistling. FML

#11558883
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9396) - you deserved it (29289)

On 06/30/2010 at 4:04am - misc - by rockefoe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that as adorable as it might be to watch your cat follow your cursor around the screen, the humor ends when she dives into and breaks the monitor. FML

#6458973
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9392) - you deserved it (23781)

On 11/26/2009 at 4:22am - animals - by MouseChaser (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my first day as a promoted manager. I got fired for being late. FML

#14242813
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9393) - you deserved it (36751)

On 12/18/2010 at 1:03am - work - by Pouya - United States

Today, I hooked up with a guy who has a Facebook page for his cat. FML

#8117396
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9390) - you deserved it (34004)

On 02/11/2010 at 12:33am - intimacy - by CatWoman (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, while having sex, I tried to kick the blanket over my feet and kneed myself in the face. FML

#9371733
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9390) - you deserved it (22108)

On 03/25/2010 at 4:00am - intimacy - by ouch (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was home alone and it started to rain. It hadn't rained in days so I went out on my balcony and ran around. I felt great until I realized that my door had been swung shut because of the wind, and it had no handle. I had to wait outside in the rain for two hours. FML

#13345862
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9386) - you deserved it (23598)

On 10/06/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Distrito Federal)

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML

#4673205
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9383) - you deserved it (91568)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took sexy pictures for my boyfriend. I am at my Aunt's house. I uploaded the pictures and after successfully posting them in a message I deleted them. I accidentally deleted the whole photo library. Now she is taking the computer to Apple tomorrow to recover the "lost" photos. FML

#14952772
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9382) - you deserved it (51223)

On 02/12/2011 at 8:36pm - misc - by Hailey - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that when you hit the neighbor's dog with your car, they might chase you a mile with a shotgun. FML

#7493759
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9376) - you deserved it (37844)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:14am - animals - by S.Bunny (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was struggling through an exam and the hot girl next to me seemed to be flying through the questions. So I cheated off her. When we finished I asked her to lunch. She said "No, I just rushed through the exam so I can go fuck my boyfriend." I got shutdown and probably failed an exam. FML

#1001341
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9373) - you deserved it (82892)

On 04/15/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by ananomoose - United States (Vermont)

Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML

#15012156
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9373) - you deserved it (49224)

On 02/17/2011 at 2:02am - intimacy - by biglady (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML

#7122357
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9369) - you deserved it (60108)

On 01/03/2010 at 7:00am - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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