Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that driving for 2 weeks on 3/4 of a tank doesn't mean my truck magically got more efficient, it means my gas gauge is broken. FML

#19092080
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11034) - you deserved it (27744)

On 02/16/2012 at 7:49am - misc - by Kramer - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML

#5124739
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11031) - you deserved it (42942)

On 09/08/2009 at 10:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML

#16982648
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11027) - you deserved it (56885)

On 07/05/2011 at 3:06am - love - by eatmywords (man) - Singapore

Today, to my delight I discover that there is security camera in the storage room at my work. The same room where, two days ago I masturbated. FML

#265
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11025) - you deserved it (65062)

On 11/10/2008 at 4:11am - work - by tadam - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML

#20487007
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11024) - you deserved it (24850)

On 01/30/2013 at 11:02pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while powerwashing my deck, a bee flew and landed on my leg. Thinking I'd just wash it away before it stings me, I aimed the powerwasher nozzle at the bee. A bee sting isn't nearly as painful as powerwashing your leg. FML

#1818559
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11021) - you deserved it (76915)

On 05/10/2009 at 4:39pm - work - by jokada (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took pills to make sure I lasted longer with my girlfriend. Good news? It worked fine and is still working now. Bad news? We've been done for a good two hours. FML

#9516462
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11020) - you deserved it (28781)

On 03/31/2010 at 12:44am - intimacy - by imsorrylove - United States

Today, I took my driving test for the first time. The instructor stopped it after less than ten minutes, and insisted she drive back to the test centre "in the interest of public safety." FML

#12000759
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11017) - you deserved it (36315)

On 07/20/2010 at 9:33am - misc - by Speedy (woman) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11017) - you deserved it (87484)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I was taking my boyfriend to the mall. In the parking lot I pointed out an old man in a vibrant pink sweater who was leaving by saying "He is so gay." My boyfriend got out of the car and walked towards the man calling "Hey Papaw!" It was his grandfather. FML

#1067181
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11015) - you deserved it (72197)

On 04/17/2009 at 8:46pm - misc - by grampsisgay (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after telling my parents just exactly what I thought of them and that I was moving out, the person I was supposed to move in with called to say they'd decided they would rather live alone. FML

#14405301
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11015) - you deserved it (28794)

On 12/31/2010 at 3:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

#5738232
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11014) - you deserved it (38090)

On 10/09/2009 at 11:05am - love - by TasedAndDazed (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I spent hours delicately writing out what seemed to be a beautiful poem to my girlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing my phone to see her surprised message. No, my only response was "you may want to use a spellcheck." FML

#6820464
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11014) - you deserved it (22098)

On 12/18/2009 at 11:29pm - love - by Poem (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: