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Today, I missed multiple calls from the company I applied to. That was the supervisor calling, wanting to hire me. I then remembered my idiotic voicemail I made months ago where I pretended to answer and say stupid stuff for 5 minutes. I don't think I'm going to get the job. FML

#20627029
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20548) - you deserved it (51675)

On 04/28/2013 at 5:09am - work - by stupid voicemails - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had to convince my 28-year-old boyfriend to take down his booger wall. FML

#19584469
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20546) - you deserved it (4865)

On 05/06/2012 at 10:03pm - misc - by fock (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while my mom was out, my family agreed upon the assumption that she has a "shopping problem." I argued against it for quite a while, until she pulled up minutes later with a what seemed like a life-time supply of canned condensed milk. FML

#13016642
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20544) - you deserved it (4348)

On 09/12/2010 at 7:34am - money - by concernedson - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a friend of mine and I were talking about how hygienic we are. She mentioned she hadn't shaved her downstairs in a while. I was looking at the computer when she said this so when I turned to look at her I saw she had pulled down her pants and underwear. I was face to face with hairy muff. FML

#6646693
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20542) - you deserved it (3538)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:30am - intimacy - by roxyriley - United States (Arizona)

Today, after going to the beach with my guyfriend, I thought I looked pretty good infront of him in a bikini. Later he whispered in my ear, "You have a lot of hairs sticking out of your bottom". FML

#4405675
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20541) - you deserved it (42793)

On 08/09/2009 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

#19409952
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20540) - you deserved it (2921)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States

Today, a small kid looked at me, screamed in terror, and hid behind his dad. I was just walking down the same aisle in the store. This is far from the first time it's happened. FML

#20051755
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20539) - you deserved it (2720)

On 09/01/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by KidKillah - United States (California)

Today, the highlight of my day was a conversation about Disney, which ranged from Pocahontas lunch boxes to Disneyland Paris. I don't know who was more excited; me, a 20 year old man, or the 6 year old girl I was talking to. FML

#13876997
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20538) - you deserved it (7434)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, when I was at the gynecologist my dr told me that I was really tense and the exam would be impossible if I didnt relax. So I started thinking about my boyfriend to relax and my mind went back to our last sex session. I started getting wet. FML

#467270
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20535) - you deserved it (64550)

On 03/19/2009 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I dropped my keys in the drain. Thankfully, my new flat mate generously offered his help to reach the keys via flower pot. FML

#244
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20534) - you deserved it (4097)

On 11/07/2008 at 9:18am - misc - by Mandoune - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

#20083358
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20531) - you deserved it (3024)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:12am - animals - by Grauncho - United States (Illinois)

Today, while on a date with the guy of my dreams, I cut my tongue so bad it bled for an hour. I managed to cut it on the plastic spoon from my coffee. FML

#1689
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20521) - you deserved it (2628)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:32am - health - by spoony - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, every time I write the word "analyst," I can't help but giggle because it begins with "anal." I'm 24, and studying to be a conflict analyst. FML

#20886867
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20521) - you deserved it (31150)

On 09/18/2013 at 6:59pm - work - by Sunny (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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