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Today, while setting up for a party I was having, I put black lights into our bathroom for the cool bright, neon color you get when you pee. When I turn them on to see where I need to continue cleaning, I see many, small, yellow hand prints on the walls. I have a nine year old brother. FML

#13660294
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22260) - you deserved it (2774)

On 10/31/2010 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

#16596385
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22256) - you deserved it (49686)

On 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm - love - by gabxoxo03 - United States (New York)

Today, I logged onto Facebook with a new notification. I got excited, until I went on to see that it was my mom commenting on my status. She had seen my friends swear in previous comments and decided to make a comment of her own. She told them, "Hey, watch out yr language!" I'm nineteen. FML

#7211285
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22255) - you deserved it (5661)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by iamshrimpy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom was feeling down because of her gray hairs. In an attempt to cheer her up, I suggested that she dye them. Her hair turned orange. FML

#18569978
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22252) - you deserved it (4942)

On 12/21/2011 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

#19633395
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22251) - you deserved it (3460)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by HK (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML

#19867200
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22250) - you deserved it (3220)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by friend (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

#20089963
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22249) - you deserved it (3565)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by wickedbeauty333 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a job interview at a small family-owned business. After the interview, the owner's son took me into his office and told me I'm not getting the job and to get out, because apparently, the old man thinks I'm "possessed by a demon". FML

#19652325
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22248) - you deserved it (1902)

On 05/20/2012 at 3:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I received a compliment for the first time from a girl. She told me she admires my courage to go out in public since most ugly people don't like to. FML

#20083123
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22248) - you deserved it (1652)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by IHateMyLife - United States (California)

Today, I found out the tattoo signifying my marriage turned out to be more permanent than the marriage itself. FML

#1933691
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22241) - you deserved it (56858)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:57pm - love - by branded (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I planned to go to a waterpark together. However, due to a "miscommunication," I, and only I, was given both the wrong time and the wrong meeting place. I spent three hours sitting in a parking lot in little more than my swimming suit. FML

#20004339
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22241) - you deserved it (2495)

On 08/05/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by crissy becks - United States (California)

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

#1600117
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22239) - you deserved it (131917)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:05pm - misc - by htothecr (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, at work, I spent half an hour on the phone with a customer. At the end of the conversation, as he was putting down the phone, I heard him say 'God, he was a miserable git'. I'm a 28 year old woman. FML

#14637512
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22238) - you deserved it (3549)

On 01/19/2011 at 9:55am - work - by tgpgs -



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