Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 15-year-old son begged me to pre-order the next season of My Little Pony. FML

#20002664
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21870) - you deserved it (6409)

On 08/04/2012 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML

#19488696
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21869) - you deserved it (4118)

On 04/18/2012 at 4:48am - love - by James C (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, I got in the shower, washed my hair and shaved because I wanted to look great for a big date. I got out, brushed and dried my hair and spent an hour putting it up in the perfect hairstyle. Running late, I quickly put on my new dress, looked down and realized i had only shaved one leg. FML

#1513327
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21870) - you deserved it (51668)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by kam3221 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my hours got cut because I couldn't make it into work when they called me in. Why couldn't I make it in? I was in an interview for a better job. I didn't get the job. FML

#12665553
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21867) - you deserved it (16955)

On 08/21/2010 at 3:20pm - misc - by thyella87 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

#19793138
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21868) - you deserved it (2169)

On 06/15/2012 at 4:23pm - misc - by shalara (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my 3 year old woke up at 2 am and refused to go back to sleep unless she could sleep with her father and me. Normally we would have said no, but both of us being so tired, we said yes. She slowly kicked me out of my side of the bed and now I have to sleep on the couch. FML

Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML

#19687214
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21865) - you deserved it (2305)

On 05/27/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by cloudberry - United States (New York)

Today, I finished working a week's overtime managing admin, stock, finances, and three members of staff. I realised that despite all my extra work, I actually earn less per hour than the students who only work on the weekends. FML

#14600625
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21863) - you deserved it (2418)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:30pm - work - by ovawerkrd - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML

#5463165
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21861) - you deserved it (2967)

On 09/25/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by lone_ranger (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my roommate did his laundry. Unfortunately, he didn't check his pockets before he washed them. There's now sticky, melted gum all over the washer and I'm left to clean it up. FML

#18926835
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21860) - you deserved it (2053)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:32pm - misc - by StickySituations (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML

#20156190
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21860) - you deserved it (7500)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, while swimming under water, my 80-pound lab thought I was drowning and tried to "rescue" me by jumping in after me, wrapping his front legs around my neck, and standing on my chest. FML

#21429802
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21861) - you deserved it (1744)

On 06/21/2015 at 10:16pm - animals - by Angel (woman) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: