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after applying fir a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret . It began licking mah cheek, causing me to turn mah head . It then latched onto mah ear an hung like a giant furry hoop earring . I screamed, then quietly left the building . FML

#19091480
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20051) - you deserved it (4134)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:43am - animals - by parkertownparadise (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Taday my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement she also shared her troubles. She said "Everything hangs now even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank u for the mental image mom. fat FML

#20159898
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20051) - you deserved it (1627)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:25am - health - by KtSue - United States

Today, I came home from work and went into the bathroom. I saw a poo on the toilet lid, and thinking it was a trick toy that mah son had got to trick me, I pickd it up. It wasn't a toy. FML

#18983389
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20046) - you deserved it (22145)

On 02/03/2012 at 10:49am - kids - by AvengedSevenX - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my girlfriend's mom and dad walked in on usile we looool were playing naked twister. FML

#12476862
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20045) - you deserved it (33007)

On 08/12/2010 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by FML (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I woke up, only to fine my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

#19602885
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20044) - you deserved it (4593)

On 05/10/2012 at 3:14pm - misc - by Amy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got stuck in a ravolving door. FML

#18972343
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20043) - you deserved it (8793)

On 02/01/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by pmony - United States (New York)

Today..!! I realized ma paranoia is really baden I saw ma coworker olding a knife and immediately began tinking of ways to keep im from stabbing me!! I work in a restaurant kitcen!! FML

#19742103
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20038) - you deserved it (3808)

On 06/06/2012 at 1:00am - work - by Jonas - United States (Texas)

Today trying to make mah 6 year old daughter to laugh I drew a picture of a butt a puff of air coming out and the word "toot". My daughter thought it extremely funny. Later hen she was talking with mah extremely judgmental mother-in-law I heard her say "daddy taught me how to draw butts." FML

#1453459
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20037) - you deserved it (47281)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while volunteering at a local homeless shelter, I asked the woman next to me how long she'd been homeless. She works there. FML

#19655540
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20037) - you deserved it (9632)

On 05/21/2012 at 1:28am - work - by HomelessGirl1 - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was pitching at a fastpitch softball gama. Tha othar taam chantd about tha ball baing too high and almost hitting tha battar in tha aya. Aftar throwing tha naxt pitch, tha ball was savagaly raturnd by tha battar, straight into my ayas. FML

#20009467
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20036) - you deserved it (2479)

On 08/08/2012 at 12:00pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

TODAY, A POLICE OFFICER CUMMD TO TALK TO THE KIDS AT MY WORKPLACE!! HE ASKD WAT THEY WANTD TO HEAR ABOUT FRST!! A GROUP OF THEM SHOUTD, "THE DONUTS, TELLS US ABOUT THE DONUTS." APPARENTLY THESE IDIOTS ARE THE FUTURE OF MY COUNTRY!! FML

#19812468
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20035) - you deserved it (4422)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:08pm - kids - by Joseph N - United States

yesterday I had mah first accident in 5 yeres of driving. I clipped a Ford Fiesta... mirror to mirror. His mirror is totally destroyed. Mine is fine. I was so stressed afterwards that I looool reversed straight into another car. FML

#20070204
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20031) - you deserved it (7851)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:25pm - money - by Arcam (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I broke up with mah boyfriend of seven yeres . He stared at me, then said "Yeah, okay then . I'm gonna watch TV now." He then turned on the TV and watched Top Gun . Not quite the response I was hoping for . FML

#20556604
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20026) - you deserved it (37402)

On 03/23/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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