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Saturday 29 August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband and I locked our keys in the car. Our only spare is in the drawer with all our sex toys. So we either had to get our oldest go in the drawer and get them to bring to us or walk the 12 miles home. My feet will never recover from that walk. FML

#21459919
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14952) - you deserved it (20469)

On 08/24/2015 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I won't be able to attend my own wedding, because I'll be in a mandatory training class that doesn't allow people to take vacation for any reason. So now we've wasted $10,000, and I can't even fly home for one day. All because I got promoted unexpectedly. FML

#21461761
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12058) - you deserved it (911)

On 08/28/2015 at 4:05pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Friuli-Venezia Giulia)

Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was arrested for trying to light my grandpa on fire. She's now in jail, asking for bail money. FML

#21461945
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9878) - you deserved it (565)

On 08/29/2015 at 12:29am - misc - by tkoester - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

#21461787
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9253) - you deserved it (1594)

On 08/28/2015 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by still laughing (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML

#21461710
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9012) - you deserved it (1512)

On 08/28/2015 at 1:18pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I spent the day sobbing in my bedroom and talking shit about him on Facebook after blocking him. He ended up changing his mind and calling me, asking me to take him back. Now I have to awkwardly explain to everyone that we're back together. FML

#21460859
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8364) - you deserved it (34542)

On 08/26/2015 at 6:25am - love - by chiara (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML

#21461344
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7638) - you deserved it (22296)

On 08/27/2015 at 1:44pm - love - by O0hdear - United States (Texas)

Today, my doctor died. Last week, after a check up I'd had because I was worried about a cough, he told me not to worry because I was as healthy as he was. FML

#21462016
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6425) - you deserved it (446)

On 08/29/2015 at 4:50am - health - by Untold_Tales - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my wife lovingly told me that I'm her best friend, followed by a detailed explanation of how it's weird to have sex with friends. FML

#21461994
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5854) - you deserved it (422)

On 08/29/2015 at 3:04am - intimacy - by Friend-Zoned - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to explain to my dad how I rear-ended the car in front of me because of a particularly intense banjo solo. FML

#21461958
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4385) - you deserved it (6499)

On 08/29/2015 at 1:09am - misc - by mumfordandsonimdisappointed - United States



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