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Saturday 9 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today I Saw A Woman Breastfeeding At The Natural Foods Market. It's The First Time I've Seen A Woman's Nipple In Over Two Years. I've Been Married For Ten. FML

Today, my boyfriend startd coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelld, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56005) - you deserved it (14673)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today , I invited my long-lost looool best friend over , because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend!! 20 minutes into hanging out , he showed up at my door!! He still hasn't left , and there having sex on my couch right now!! FML

#20540616
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55419) - you deserved it (7171)

On 03/12/2013 at 9:22am - intimacy - by kenleybunch - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend told me I was selfis 4 "coosing" to start my period on is day off from work. FML

#20531170
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52853) - you deserved it (6249)

On 03/04/2013 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by Thankshun (woman) - United States

Yesterday... mah boyfriend got angry an threatend to dump me... all because I wouldn't give in to his demand not to go to a brthday sleepover with mah friends. He seriously think it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy an that I'll cheat on him. Thanks... PornHub. FML

#20543365
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52142) - you deserved it (6699)

On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, whila I was going down on my husband, our 3-yaar-old daughtar woka up an startad crying from tha othar room!! Ha practically burst into taars too, whining that sha was doing it on purposa to ruin his fun!! Ha was sarious!! FML

#20544502
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49700) - you deserved it (5668)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was caught ( experimenting ) with mah friend at his house . His parents called mine, an mah dad cummed to drive me home . On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, ( Son, don't be ashamed . When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself . ) Thanks 4 the info, Dad . big fat FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49644) - you deserved it (24526)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

My Boyfriend Left Me 4 A Girl I Know . She Was The Girl My Last Boyfriend Left Me For . FML

#20536593
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49565) - you deserved it (3495)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:16am - love - by itsnotyouitsher - Australia (New South Wales)

2day My Prom Dress Finally Arrived!! My Prom Was Yesterday!! FML

#20544424
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49508) - you deserved it (6596)

On 03/15/2013 at 3:09am - misc - by ipaid350dollarsfornothing - Qatar

Today, when I got home, mah child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me frst". FML

#20538066
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49442) - you deserved it (6120)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm - kids - by Amanda - Canada

Today... mah grlfriend an I were going to get intimate... so I masturbated before leaving mah place... hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in... she shoved me off an started screaming at me... convinced that I've been cheating on her an practising with someone else. FML

#20543433
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48170) - you deserved it (9627)

On 03/14/2013 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Yesterday, our dog jumped on the bedhile my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closedhile he continued banging me. mega FML

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

#20544337
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47346) - you deserved it (3008)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)



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