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Thursday 21 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

today I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor . The nurseho took me to my room afterward trid to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot . That was me too . big fat FML

#20521872
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57055) - you deserved it (4603) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called mah wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56339) - you deserved it (4135)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today.. . after supporting mah grlfriend 4 over a year in her endeavour to lose wieght.. . exercise more.. . and eat better.. . mah now-slender grlfriend dumpd me . Because now she find someone better than me . FML

#20518428
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47065) - you deserved it (3983)

On 02/23/2013 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

today I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her 4 the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML

#20511747
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46365) - you deserved it (5118)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

TODAY... MY FIANCÉ IS RETURNING OME... SO I DECIDED TO WAX MYSELF... TINKING TINGS WOULD GET INTIMATE. I WARMED TE WAX STRIPS AN SET TEM ON TE COUNTER. OUR CAT JUMPED ONTO TE COUNTER AN MANAGED TO ROLL ONTO ONE OF TE STRIPS. SUFFICE TO SAY... TE WRONG PUSSY GOT A PAINFUL WAXING. FML

#20521590
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45181) - you deserved it (7340)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip!! There was a shift in geres and the metal in the seat began to vibrate!! My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing!! It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm!! FML

#20523671
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44831) - you deserved it (5625)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

yesterday while I was in the shower boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43132) - you deserved it (9402)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today at mah grandpa's funeral mah boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML

#20520888
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43046) - you deserved it (5108)

On 02/24/2013 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by pissed girlfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, A Woman Strappd Her 8-year-old Son Into The Seat Next To Me On A Transatlantic Flight. Thinking They'd Been Unable To Book Seats Together, I Offerd To Swap Seats With Her. She Said She'd Bookd It This Way Intentionally, Because He's A "fucking Brat" On Flights. She Was Right. FML

#20513411
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43008) - you deserved it (2246)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, it's my frst day at a naw school. I transfarrad ara halfway through tha yaar to gat away from a grl who bullias ma. Sha's apparantly bulliad har mom into transfarring har ara as wall. FML

#20513405
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42354) - you deserved it (2903)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:05pm - misc - by SchoolSucks (woman) - United States

Today..!! at mah mother's funeral..!! as everyone was around her casket for the viewing..!! mah 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted..!! "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried!! FML

#20521929
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41225) - you deserved it (3411)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowd to come home from boarding school on weekends cuz it will confuse my cats and disrupt there lives. mega FML

#20519879
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40674) - you deserved it (2640)

On 02/24/2013 at 6:17am - animals - by incendiaaa (woman) - Australia

2DAY I WAS GIVING MAH GUY A BLOWJOB !! WHEN HE BLURTD OUT, "OH JESUS" I ASSUMD I WAS DOING A GOOD JOB !! I LOOKD UP TO SEE THE EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE AN NOTICD A LOOK OF TERROR !! HE WAS STARING AT MAH GROWLING CAT, TWO SECONDS AWAY FROM CLAWING HIS FACE OFF !! FML

#20514475
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39513) - you deserved it (5555)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)



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