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Saturday 16 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I spoke to my crush for the first time, and after a while he asked for my number. Ecstatic, I took the first piece of paper I saw out of my purse. I wrote it down and gave it to him, but he handed it back and said, "You might need this." It was an appointment card for my therapist. FML

#20502338
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22955) - you deserved it (4915)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19pm - love - by sofuckingembarassing. (woman) - United States

Today, the guy I like asked me out for the first time. It's a good thing he did it over Facebook, because I started shaking and almost threw up. I don't know how I'm going to function on our date next week. FML

#20514506
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22925) - you deserved it (5394)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:31am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

#20503655
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22750) - you deserved it (2503)

On 02/12/2013 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML

#20505035
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22749) - you deserved it (4203)

On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)

Today, a guy wolf-whistled me as I walked to the shop wearing comfy joggers, no makeup and my hair scraped back. Feeling rather pleased about it, I told my best friend and my fiancé. Their unanimous conclusion: the guy must have been drunk or taking hallucinogenic drugs. FML

#20510431
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22741) - you deserved it (3472)

On 02/17/2013 at 5:20am - misc - by bananamontana85 - United Kingdom (Wigan)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22655) - you deserved it (4253)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

#20511803
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22363) - you deserved it (1744)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:24am - intimacy - by buxton1 - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML

#20506625
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22359) - you deserved it (2839)

On 02/14/2013 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany

Today, I realized my acne is so bad that the Facebook face recognition could recognize all of my friends in a group photo except me. FML

#20516014
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22078) - you deserved it (2343)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by SadFace (man) - Singapore

Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML

#20514955
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22070) - you deserved it (5598)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by club goer - Canada

Today, I found out that my upstairs neighbor has a cat. I was blessed with this knowledge when she threw several piles of used kitty litter and cat poop over her balcony and onto my patio. FML

#20509867
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22019) - you deserved it (1595)

On 02/16/2013 at 7:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML

#20505090
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21977) - you deserved it (5559)

On 02/13/2013 at 3:31pm - misc - by nosebleeder - Sweden

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

#20503190
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21967) - you deserved it (1930)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)



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